Follow these instructions carefully: if you see someone being force choked, look away and pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening. When it's over, take a higher position in the chain of command. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.

Link -via Geekosystem

Slim Jims--the essential American road trip food. They are, technically speaking, a meat product. But you might think that they haven't been sufficiently industrially processed for human consumption. George Duran of Hungry apparently agrees, so he mixed the jerky product with milk, eggs, breadcrumbs, parsley, onion and pork sausage to make meatballs.

Link [YouTube] -via Bon Appétit

"You looked at yourself in that thing? You're braver than I thought." This mirror has a few special modifications. Etsy sellers Nanda and Marcus Jones carved and painted this custom mirror so that it will make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.

Link -via Technabob

There's nothing better on a hot summer day than some cold homemade ice cream, in your favorite flavors. If you grew up on fluffernutter sandwiches, you'll love this recipe for fluffernutter ice cream! First you cook up a mixture that reminds me a little of peanut butter fudge, then use it in your ice cream maker and swirl in marshmallow fluff and more peanut butter. Get the complete recipe at Hipsteaders. Link -via Laughing Squid

Gourmet and exotic food trucks are hip and trendy now--and not just for humans! There are several food truck businesses in cities around the United States that cater to canine customers. For example, Donna Santucci (above), is the owner of Fido To Go:

In Chicago, Donna Santucci opened Fido To Go to compliment her existing pet-grooming business in 2011. "I have over 40 applicants" who want to license the brand, she said.

Right now, Santucci makes all the cookies and frozen yogurt cups she sells from scratch in a commercial kitchen in downtown Chicago. "I’m looking for a bigger facility now as we speak." [...]

With all of this blurring of the lines between human and dog food, mix-ups sometimes do occur. Santucci said sometimes people tried to buy the frozen yogurt for themselves, and she had to explain that their human palate might not appreciate the unsweetened taste.

Link -via Jalopnik

(Photo: Fido To Go)

Don't think about the consequences. Just live in the moment. Worries can wait for another day.

Link -via Pleated Jeans

Autobots, teleport out! Optimus Prime now has a great advantage over Megatron and the Decepticons. Andrew Lindsey used a 3D pinter to build a transforming TARDIS--a transportation choice far more mobile than a tractor trailer.

It needs a fez.

Link -via Technabob

Meet Walle, the winner of the the 25th annual World's Ugliest Dog contest, held at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in California. Walle was a last-minute entry, and impressed judges with his traits from various dog breeds.

"This dog looked like he's been Photoshopped with pieces from various dogs and maybe a few other animals," judge Brian Sobel said.

Walle's owner, Tammie Barbee, said that she acquired Walle when he was three months old.

"People come up to me and say that dog is not right," Barbee told Associated Press, "but I love him."

Walle is a beagle/boxer/basset hound mix. Link -via Fark

See also: contest winners from previous years. 

This past week has been very busy here at Neatorama. It's a good thing my kids have been gone to camp, or I'd have never been able to keep up with it all. We've had lots of videos, links, and feature articles in case you've been busy working and need to catch up. Have you been to Neatorama's Pinterest boards lately? They've been completely reworked so they are much easier to see and use. (Thanks, Jill!) I'm going to go over just the highlights of the past week here so you'll know the best things to start with for the weekend.

Alex was very busy bringing us feature articles last week, starting with a Fathers Day treat, 5 Great Pieces of Fatherly Advice.

He also wrote Wonders of the Solar System.

And then Alex collected 7 Fantastic Covers of Daft Punk's Get Lucky.

Jill Harness gave us a photographic look at 15 Utterly Adorable Babies Cosplaying.

A Tribute to Moe Howard of the Three Stooges was written by guest author Eddie Deezen.

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader contributed The Natural History of the Unicorn.

An/The/An Index of Confusion came from The Annals of Improbable Research.

Mental_floss magazine told us about The Poison Sommelier.

Hy Conrad presented the Whodunit: Bus Station Bomber. Did you solve the mystery?

In the What It It? game, the mystery object turned out to be a German Tarantella razor blade sharpener. Read more about it at the What Is It? blog. We had a whole slew of really creative guesses! Among the best, ladybugs said it's "an ocular prosthesis gouger for those too squeemish to remove a glass eye with their fingers." That's good for a t-shirt from the NeatoShop! And Gothixhalo guessed it to be "a viewer for old naughty films from the early 20th century. It helps to keep things private for you to view the old films through it." That sounds like a winner, too! Thanks to everyone who played, and watch for the next edition of the game from Neatorama and the What Is It? blog!

This week's Brainteaser from the Bathroom Reader Institute was called Legs. Y'all came up with some great alternate answers!

If you check in with Neatorama's sub-blogs, you got to see Alex's Fathers Day card at NeatoBambino. It looks just like him!

We want to see your pets! If you have a picture of your cat, dog, or other pet, we'd like to feature him or her on the pet sub-blog Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly. You can email a photo to us at tips@neatorama.com any time. Check out all our sub-blogs to find things you may be particularly interested in; the buttons for each are at the top of the page.

We also had a really neat response to the post The Most Hilarious Bootleg Superhero Toys Ever. Molly Carroll saw the picture and was inspired to create her own artistic rendition of The Sense of Right Alliance. Thanks, Molly!

The post that gathered the most comments this past week was Wedding Gift Spat Goes Public. Obesity is Now a Disease was in second place, followed by J is for Jail: Sesame Street Muppet with Dad in Jail.

The comment of the week came from Benjamin Eugene NElson. In yesterday's story about the horse who got stuck in a tire, he said, "Poor guy must've been tired afterwards... or maybe before."

The most popular post was Hairy Stockings, followed by A Tribute to Moe Howard of the Three Stooges and Brainteaser: Legs. But all those were dwarfed by the performance of 5 Modern Problems Even Superman Can't Defeat, from last Friday, which just barely missed the cutoff for being "this week."

The posts that drew the most ♥s this week was a tie between Baby Bunnies in the Barracks and Twins with Rubber Bands. Coming in third was the Adventure Time Children's Room. Thanks for the ♥s!

Right now at the NeatoShop, we're running a Doctor Who sale, where you can save 20%, 30%, or 40% off select Doctor Who items. Get them before they are gone!

Thanks for visiting Neatorama this week! We've got some great stuff coming up this coming week, too!

Brilliant! I can already taste it in my mouth. Using fresh raspberries ground into a paste is an especially good idea. Monique Volz used multigrain baguette in her recipe, but I'd try it with a sourdough bread.

Link -via Foodbeast

Chances are, you've ran across one of George Zimmer's famous Men's Warehouse commercial on TV. Well, not anymore: the founder and spokesman for the men's suit company has just got fired.

The company announced the termination in a blunt statement ... and explained, "The board expects to discuss with Mr. Zimmer the extent, if any, and terms of his ongoing relationship with the company."

Sounds like a pretty nasty breakup. 

Link

You've seen those reality TV shows in which someone goes away for a week and some expert team comes in and organizes/redecorates/remodels their home. That's the way I felt when I saw Neatorama's Pinterest site! Jill Harness has remodeled, reorganized, and added a lot of things that make our Pinterest boards easier to see, use, and share. Tell your Pinterest friends about the changes, and get ready for more "Pin to Win" contests coming soon from Neatorama! Link

Elisa Strauss isn't just a baker, but a trained artist who uses food as her medium. This cake is an example of what she can do in her studio. She used fondant and gum paste and, I assume, mushrooms, cheese and beef.

Link -via Cake Spy