At the stroke of midnight, when the clouds passed over the moon and the wind whispered in the trees, Old Jonah told the story about the insane fisherman who haunted these woods. Suddenly there was a sound off in the distance. A scraping sound, like metal on metal. Closer the sound came. The campfire crackled and shot up sparks as the campers sat huddled together near the dying fire. Closer now, the sound of metal on metal. ssccrraappe! There it was, again! Just outside of the campfire's orange glow, Old Jonah turned his watery eyes towards the direction of the sound just as "the hook" came flashing out of nowhere and cut his head off! The campers screamed and ran off into the darkness, never to be heard from again, never, ever to return... This is the very hook the insane fisherman used to kill Old Jonah.
Bwahahaha!!!!!!
mmm-pi size large

It's a hook to unlock your car door. (I think it might be called a 'car-jack'? Slide it down inside the the window and the hook grabs the locking mechanism and releases it.

mmm-pi size large

Everyone knows zombies love brains.

And the best brain in the whole world, the creme de la creme brain would be Einstein's brain. So, I would set a trap using the Einstein Little Giant Vinyl Figure (zombies are stupid so they need a good visual to entice them) AND the Emergency Inflatable Brain as lures to bring the zombies to my trap.

The trap involves a blind alley with a window up high where I would be safe from them and can look down upon them (contemptuously, as well as physically). ha! I would be wearing the Skull Knit Mask and Glow in the Dark Skeleton Gloves so the zombies would take no notice of my luscious brain and not want to eat me!

My weapon would be composed of the Rubberband Shooter Blaster Supreme combined with the Nose Pencil Sharpener joined together (too complicated to describe how I do that) and my ammo would be Bucky Balls. Aim that nose at the zombies and they get a double blast of steel Bucky Balls to their noggins. Bam! Bam! Bam! As soon as one goes down the zombies eat him/her. They will be very busy eating and I will be busy killing them ALL!

Bwahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel Wings Mug would be nice.

If I am a runner-up and get a T-shirt then "mmm-pi" size Large, please.

They should have had both Dumbledores (back to back) on the stamp. Richard Harris was the first Dumbledore and I think he should have been given a nod, too.

Smart. Thieves usually want to get into a place and out asap. They don't have the time to go around checking every door frame. It's usually smash and grab.

They also don't like going into places that don't have 2 doors or a door and a window: Like a basement. A cop told me one of the best places to put valuables is in the basement in a place that's hard to access. Just leave a note in a safety deposit box for relatives incase you expire suddenly...

Campfire sausage holder. You have to use sausage not hotdogs because the points are too wide for thin hotdogs. Stick them on the dull points and put it into the campfire. yummy!
size large t-shirt "mmm...pi"

It's a tool for people who dye cloth. It grabs the wet cloth from the vats so you don't have to use your hands.
size 2xl t-shirt
"Fine line between genius and insanity"

It's a medieval chastity belt key. My mom has one just like it but it doesn't work...
size large "Math Puns are the 1st sines of madness

It's for carding wool.They usually come in pairs.

"I do all my own stunts" size large

Guess Wanke went over to the dark side. That's where the cookies are. Right? Guess Wanke won't be stealing anymore peoples' cookies. uh huh

I moved to Louisiana 2 years ago (job related) and in the early evenings we have a bobcat (lynx, same animal, different name) come strolling up our backyard once in a while. Their fur has the blue-gray coloring of smoke with dark brown coloring on it's spots and their hind legs are longer than their front legs so their stance looks a bit off. This bobcat is absolutely stunning in it's beauty. This is one of the nice things about where I live.

It's a bottle opener. Pops the metal tops off of bottles.
Flying monkeys t-shirt 2X

The only way I'd drink that is if I were really drunk and someone dared me to do it and a large amount of whiskey was added to the glass first.

"is highly prized in China and the Far East, where processed sea cucumbers can sell for extortionate prices." I've never heard of the word "extortionate" before. Is that a cross between exorbitant and extortion?