When my son was 2 and my daughter was 4 my son wanted to try on his sister's dress. I helped him put it on while his sister watched. My son stared at himself in the mirror for a while then had me help him take it off. He never put one on again. He didn't become 'flaming' and he grew up and got married and his wife is expecting their first child come fall.

Things only become a big deal when you make it a big deal. You broadcast your hang-ups to your kids. And, believe me, they will pick up on them. No hang ups? No worries. The most important thing you can do for your child is to love them unconditionally.

Back in the olden days when I was a kid I had a pet raven. It was very smart and extremely beautiful. My dad and brother found him on a golf course sitting on a branch in the rain and brought him home and he became my responsibility to care for him. He was a juvenile (teenage?) raven and still wanted to be fed every 3 hours. He was never caged. He would ride around on my shoulder. Very social bird. He finally grew up and I took him out to the woods and put him in a tree. He would come back once in a while to visit until he finally went his way and I never saw him again.

It's a special weight training apparatus. When weight trainers are busy building up their manly muscles they sometimes forget about developing the 'manliest' muscle of them all.

That's where the "Penis Maximizer" comes into play. Make that special muscle look in proportion to the rest of your magnificent body.

Just imagine how popular you will be at parties when you can do pull-ups without using your hands! Want a raise at the office? Hell, no! Get a promotion! All because you have maximized yourself to the envy of all your friends and colleagues. Women will be flocking to you, just to get a glimpse of your athletic, pumped up glory!

Call now for a free trial of the "Penis Maximizer" today!
1-800-mm-penis *note* Penis Maximizer is not available in all 50 states.

Resistance begins at Ohm size large

I've had my grandmothers "die" too many times to count. Each 'death' occurred right before a major exam. It helps if you switch colleges after the second death of grandma because the college professors will eventually catch on, unless you are a Mormon, that you don't have any more grandmas who will conveniently pass away at exam time...

It's a "re-run flycatcher reserve of straws". When my mom and uncle were little they would catch flies and take a piece of straw and ram one end of the straw up into the back end of the fly and then release the fly. It would fly around with the straw hanging out of it's back-end and mom and uncle victor would grab the straw and yank on it. They would laugh hysterically and catch another fly and do it again until there were dozens of flies flying around trailing straw. Ah, fun times from long ago.

This picture is of a "re-run flycatcher repository" where you would keep your stash of straw for just such an occasion as the one I just described.

BTW, this part about my mom and uncle doing this to flies really happened. You don't want to know what they did to grasshoppers...

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After Dorothy made her escape back to Kansas with the Wizard of Oz in the hot air balloon, the Scarecrow had a hard time adjusting to not having her think for him. He fell in with a bad crowd of flying monkeys who convinced him to become a hardened criminal. He finally went rogue and killed the 'formerly' Cowardly Lion in an act of vengeance when the lion tried to 'make hay' with the Scarecrow's girlfriend. As punishment the Scarecrow was walled up inside of a house and left there to eventually die from lack of alfalfa sprouts. Fifty years later the denizens of OZ made a small opening into the blocked up wall to see what was there and all they found was this mass of straw. It's still there and on view today if you can get there from here.

"Oh, no! It was rocket science!" size large

never mind. I found out who to write to.

This person may be dyslexic and not a good speller. I can read some of this. Who should I contact?

They may be spider webs but they look more like gypsy moth webs to me. Get enough of them on a tree and the larvae will eat every leaf and kill the tree.

Pallas cat but I had a Maine Coon cat that looked just like it. They get really big. My cat weighed 30 pounds and his head was wider than a human's head, enormous paws and he was bigger than a full grown pekinese dog.

And thanks for those 'wanted/unwanted' posters. What a great way to start the day with a few good belly laughs!

No Janis Joplin? No Grace Slick? No Mama Cass? No Linda Ronstadt? No Joni Mitchell? wtf???

At the stroke of midnight, when the clouds passed over the moon and the wind whispered in the trees, Old Jonah told the story about the insane fisherman who haunted these woods. Suddenly there was a sound off in the distance. A scraping sound, like metal on metal. Closer the sound came. The campfire crackled and shot up sparks as the campers sat huddled together near the dying fire. Closer now, the sound of metal on metal. ssccrraappe! There it was, again! Just outside of the campfire's orange glow, Old Jonah turned his watery eyes towards the direction of the sound just as "the hook" came flashing out of nowhere and cut his head off! The campers screamed and ran off into the darkness, never to be heard from again, never, ever to return... This is the very hook the insane fisherman used to kill Old Jonah.
Bwahahaha!!!!!!
mmm-pi size large

It's a hook to unlock your car door. (I think it might be called a 'car-jack'? Slide it down inside the the window and the hook grabs the locking mechanism and releases it.

mmm-pi size large

Everyone knows zombies love brains.

And the best brain in the whole world, the creme de la creme brain would be Einstein's brain. So, I would set a trap using the Einstein Little Giant Vinyl Figure (zombies are stupid so they need a good visual to entice them) AND the Emergency Inflatable Brain as lures to bring the zombies to my trap.

The trap involves a blind alley with a window up high where I would be safe from them and can look down upon them (contemptuously, as well as physically). ha! I would be wearing the Skull Knit Mask and Glow in the Dark Skeleton Gloves so the zombies would take no notice of my luscious brain and not want to eat me!

My weapon would be composed of the Rubberband Shooter Blaster Supreme combined with the Nose Pencil Sharpener joined together (too complicated to describe how I do that) and my ammo would be Bucky Balls. Aim that nose at the zombies and they get a double blast of steel Bucky Balls to their noggins. Bam! Bam! Bam! As soon as one goes down the zombies eat him/her. They will be very busy eating and I will be busy killing them ALL!

Bwahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel Wings Mug would be nice.

If I am a runner-up and get a T-shirt then "mmm-pi" size Large, please.

They should have had both Dumbledores (back to back) on the stamp. Richard Harris was the first Dumbledore and I think he should have been given a nod, too.