It's May, 2011 in sunny Santa Clarita, California. A gentle breeze is rolling in from the sea, adding a nice cool to the air on your face. It'd be a wonderful day to go down to the beach, or a hike in the mountains. You'd might consider doing either, but you're surrounded by a horde of the undead while inside the NeatoShop warehouse.
The fall of civilization came surprisingly quickly, as most people simply refused to divert their attention from petty concerns while the infection spread. You, too, were distracted by silly things, like the newest Rebecca Black video and Charlie Sheen's astonishing career comeback.
Now it's too late to make serious preparations. You'll just have to improvise from materials in your current location -- the warehouse serving the NeatoShop retailing empire.
What will you do? You came without so much as a rock in your pocket and now must survive using only the contents of the warehouse.
This is a contest. Look through the contents of the 'Shop and devise materials that you'll need to survive -- improvised weapons, water filters, medical equipment, cook stoves -- anything that you'll need to see through the end of this dark chapter in human history.
Leave the description your improvised survival tool in the comments. The most inventive/funniest/silliest will win your choice of any item under $25 from the NeatoShop, and several runners-up will win a t-shirt of their choice!
When you enter the description of your survival implement(s), be sure to also provide the name of the item that you want if you win. Please make sure that you provide a selection or your entry will not be considered.
(Original image credit: Flickr user theogeo)
1. Critical Hit: LED Flashing D20 Die - for the moments when in a group setting and volunteers are not forthcoming for chores like carnage cleanup.
2. Credit card survival tool - because all-in-one tools always come in handy
3. Zombie mints - essential when meeting new people, especially if re-populating the world is needed
Totem Salt and Pepper Shaker - oOps, impulse buy ;-D
If I win: I would like the Remote Control Zombie
And I'll be keeping a container of the Resident Evil Outbreak Mints in my back pocket, just in case some other unfortunet humans happen to find their way to my lonely outpost and we need to work on repopulating the earth afterwards.
If i win I want a deck of the silver playing cards.
1. Use the Micro-Max 19-in-1 to unscrew (always have the Micro-Max with you as it is the most handy tool) 2. Use cable from Audio Bone 1.0 Headphones to tie Shredsor blade to umbrella.
I would keep several Fart Extinguishers with me and use them as flame throwers to burn those zombies up.
Bucky balls are also a good idea to have around as a trap to make the zombie lose their balance before you slice them up. Other LED lights, products with torches could serves as a distraction to the zombie or to mislead them!
Please only use the Shredsorblade in the event of a zombie attack as it is too deadly. Hope we survive.
If I win!!! I would like the Harry Potter Sorting Hat! If I get runner-up, I would like a Protected by Ninja Kitty shirt, Mens, Medium.
To battle such zombies one only need to obey the herd instincts, do not attempt to reason or observe keenly anything that goes on. Grab a bag of potato chips, slink down in your couch and watch SpikeTV. That will fool them, but if that doesn't work ordering any one of the many useless gadgets Neatorama has to offer will send a strong message that you are not a rational creature.
On that note. I would like to assert my irrationality by adorning myself in a "I'm not a schizophrenic..." shirt or by disarraying a 3D Brain Anatomy model.