Nintendo was kind enough to provide both Mario and Luigi with their own princesses to rescue and subsequently marry, so they wouldn't have to date around like a pair of regular old plumbers.
But, as is often the case when someone is forced into a marriage, Princess Peach soon lost interest in Mario and fell for her bad boy captor Bowser, leaving Mario to head back on to the dating scene.
Since Mario has been in a serious relationship he knows how to set up a proper profile on apps like Tinder, so there's hope for him yet, but I'm pretty sure Wario has never had a date in his life so he sees Tinder as a numbers game.
In other words, Wario is hoping that if enough desperate people see his profile one of them will agree to go on a date with him, which will probably be the end of the line for his nonexistent love life...
Wizards study some pretty heavy stuff, and the mystical mumbo-jumbo they're always spouting sounds like gibberish to anyone who has no knowledge of the mystical arts.
And aside from the incantations, transmutations and summoning rituals wizards are just regular people-they deal with relationship issues, have trouble making friends, and can't find a decent pizza parlor that will deliver to their tower.
But, as this Slack Wyrm comic shows us, if you should get to talking to a wizard and they ask you to babysit just say OH HELL NO!
Apple built its rep by making new, innovative and powerful tech products that took the PC market by storm, and they even managed to make people who couldn't give a crap about tech excited to own a computer.
And as they shifted their focus from making awesome computers to selling overpriced junk and becoming a cult of personality they lost sight of what's really important- their customers.
But, as this Don't Hit Save comic sarcastically shows us, even the low-hanging fruit that made Apple who they are today are starting to get wise to their wicked ways.
2016 wasn't all that bad until a bunch of beloved celebrities started dying, and then the presidential election came along in November and punched America in the face, proving we are indeed living on the Darkest Timeline.
And as expected 2017 has brought more punches to the face plus some kicks to the teeth and an unrelenting barrage of BS that has made us feel forever unclean.
But, as this comic by Sarah Andersen shows us, being beaten up for the last two years has made us rough, rugged and ready for whatever 2018 throws at us!
2017 was a hit or miss year for movies, but it has been a great year for movie trailers, all of which did a great job of getting us hyped for movies that were great like The Last Jedi and not-so-great movies like Justice League.
But that's the beauty of a great movie trailer- it's totally rewatchable on its own and doesn't suck even if the movie it's promoting does. But something tells me Black Panther will live up to the hype in 2018.
Over the years video games have become so cinematic that people often mistake game trailers for movie trailers, especially when they star a familiar face like Norman Reedus from The Walking Dead.
But my personal pick for best trailer of 2017 is the amazing teaser for Deadpool 2, which doesn't really show us anything about the movie but it does have DP channeling Bob Ross, so movie bits be damned!
Video game companies typically try to release games that make them stand out from the rest, developing a signature style over the years that gamers come to identify with.
And whether they're trying to be violent outlaws like RockStar Games, full of deep, dark adventures like Bethesda or family friendly like Nintendo they all come to be known by the titles they release.
Which is why Nintendo refuses to acknowledge the game Time Twist: On The Outskirts Of History, because it includes a Holocaust-themed level, the KKK lynching a slave, and possessed Baby Jesus is the final boss:
After a relatively normal trip to Ancient Greece, you head to the American Civil War and hop into the body of a slave boy named George ... who gets lynched by the KKK. Then you discover that George's master is plotting to kill Abraham Lincoln. But you're able to save the day by solving a variation on the old river-crossing puzzle that involves Lincoln, two slaves, and three coyotes. You're learning history!
The final chapter sees you hopping into a donkey owned by the original power couple, Joseph and Mary. You witness the birth of Jesus ... whom you then have to defeat, because the Devil has possessed him and is going to alter history to cause a nuclear apocalypse. Why yes, Baby Jesus does appear to summon the tortured souls of the damned during your encounter. How did you guess?
On the other hand Activision acknowledges their 1989 big fat flop of a game Tongue Of The Fatman even though they probably shouldn't, because it's not only stupid looking throughout- it's one of the worst fighting games ever made.
In this game, you must do combat for the enjoyment of Mondu, master of an intergalactic fighting pit and an obese tongue owner.
The gameplay is simple, because nothing works. The hit detection is broken, the health system is inscrutable, the physics obey no known laws of nature or God, only Mondu, and every character plays more or less the same, which is to say they control like a dying animal.
Dorkly posts some of the best geeky comic strips in the biz, and that's because their artists Julia Lepetit, JHALL, Andy Kluthe and George Rottkamp are geeks in real life so they know what they're joking about.
And this year's Best of Dorkly represents the full spectrum of geekdom, from video games to movies to comic books, and as expected hilarious comics about anime series' like Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z are peppered throughout.
But my personal favorites are the strips they call Questions I Still Have About (insert name here), because they either visualize what I've already thought or make me think "oh yeah, huh, no s#$t".
Actors often have a hard time maintaining their composure while filming death scenes, and DVD extras are full of BTS footage of actors cracking up after trying to keep it together until they've finished filming the scene.
Which is why many of the clips on a blooper reel feature actors cracking up while trying to be super serious during a death scene, as they counteract the sadness by acting super silly.
This blooper compilation from Looper features some super funny clips from Inglourious Basterds, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, The Avengers, Jaws, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Merlin and The Interview.
Every single state in the Union had its own state bird, state flower and state flag, but did you know they all have their own signature alcoholic beverage too?
Well, except for those pesky dry states, where the state drink is moonshine but it's kept on the hush-hush, but every other state openly enjoys beer, wine or a cocktail and has one drink that's a favorite with the folks who live there.
But if you want to sample them all take it from Eugene of the Try Guys and test them out over multiple nights- because trying to drink them all in one night could be deadly. (NSFW language)
Eugene takes a break from The Try Guys to get blind stinkin' drunk with Kelsey and tour America by bar stool, tasting every state's signature drink from the Alabama Yellowhammer to Wyoming's favorite box wine Franzia.
But the really cool thing about this video is they show the recipe for every cocktail featured, so if you want to take your own alcoholic tour of America some day you can!
Humans who get jealous when their lover spends time with other humans are often dealing with issues of insecurity and abandonment, which is why they care so much that their significant other is spending time with someone else.
But you're taking your personal issues a bit too far if you get jealous of a pet, except when that pet is actively and aggressively trying to break the two of you up and steal your significant other.
That's when you have to wonder how deep your pet's feelings for your boyfriend or girlfriend run, and whether you should be thinking about finding them a furry partner of their own- for safety's sake.
No matter how crazy in love your pet becomes keep repeating these words to yourself- it's only a phase, they're just being a (insert species here), they don't live that long, it's probably all in your head...
Paint can radically transform the look of a building, brightening and cleaning it up by covering all the cracks and imperfections to make it look almost new again.
And, as the French street art duo Blesea and Baby K have shown us, paint can even transform the building into something else entirely if properly applied.
Blesea and Baby K applied their artistic talents to a blockhouse on the beach of Réville and turned it into a totally terrific rendition of the dragon Shenron from the Dragon Ball series, using spray paint to give the building a geeky restoration.
The building had been abandoned for a while so the spray paint makeover wasn't seen as a much needed restoration rather than vandalism, and now Shenron can hang out by the sea until Goku arrives...
Nobody can agree on whether Frank's war is righteous and justified or simply a murderous rampage, but as the criminals drop and the crime rates in the city plummet the people are willing to admit one thing- they feel safer knowing the Punisher is out there. His methods may be controversial, and the law abiding heroes who try to keep the city safe by arresting the bad guys might feel he's fighting for the wrong side, but Frank Castle doesn't do what he does for praise or to make friends- he does it to avenge the fallen and bury those who murdered his family in cold blood.
Help protect your wardrobe from the forces of boring fashion with this Lethal t-shirt by Pigboom, featuring a deadly cool design that will make your fellow Punisher fans salute your taste in geeky tees.
Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!
New parents often ask more experienced parents for advice on how to cope with the trials and tribulations of raising a kid, and no matter how much you prepare before your kid is born there's always more to learn.
My wife and I recently had our first child so I'm grateful for those parents who share tips and tricks online that make our rookie parent lives easier.
And unlike the advice we've received from the grandparents these are tips and tricks we can actually use.
I look forward to tricking my kid into drinking medicine by telling him it's Pepsi, and I'm sure we'll need to divide the dog and the baby in the back seat at some point, but bringing a fitted sheet to the beach is the most brilliant idea of them all!
Many companies keep secrets they expect their employees to keep as well, even after they've left the company, but unless the employee signed a non-disclosure agreement they're under no obligation to keep those company secrets anymore.
hipster_90 knows an apple a day won't keep the doctor away:
Worked in a private owned doctors office. They would routinely schedule people with government insurance for appointments months out, and schedule people with private insurance for much closer appointments, next day even. Also, since Medicare and Medicaid won't pay for immunizations and therapeutic injections separately, when they are given during an office visit, they would schedule the patient for another appointment the next morning, and "give" the injection then. Thereby allowing them to bill it separately. The thing is, the patient never even knows about this "second" appointment, and their insurance pays the bills. The office manager would also sign into the doctors computers and send in narcotic rx's for patients under their names, even though she has no medical license at all.
At a movie theater where I used to work, at the end of the night, we would collect all the unsold popcorn and stuff it into these enormous yellow trash bags. The next morning, yesterday's popcorn was the first to go in the warmer. My boss said that popcorn was fine to reheat and serve for up to a week. We never dated the bags, though (bags that we were not allowed to throw away. We reused them all the time) so there was literally no way to know how old the popcorn was. Not as horrifying as some stuff here, but I thought it was kinda gross.
And while the reheated popcorn is gross and the prioritizing of patients according to insurance type is crooked, re-selling toys and other goods donated to the needy is a tactic straight out of the Grinch's playbook:
I worked at a certain big-box store several years ago. At the time, it had a yellow smiley face for it's logo. Now it is a weird star thing.
Anyway, every Christmas, they would put out a bin for customers to donate toys, clothes, etc. to low-income children.
Everything that went into that bin went back on the shelf. If it didn't have a receipt attached, we "couldn't prove it have been purchased." If it had a receipt, we were supposed to make sure it fell off.
Don't donate anything at that store.
Edit: I don't know if it happens at many stores, but it happened at the particular store I worked at. This was all over 10 years ago, so alerting the media or naming the manager wouldn't do much good.
As far as inventory goes, I don't think anyone really cared much about it during the holiday season. Every January and February, we would go through our departments with the Telxon and manually update any on hand counts that were incorrect. I don't know if that is a standard company practice. It would be right before the GSI inventory contractors came through.
Cuphead is full of coffee, which is fine for the old timey era in which he lives, but if he ever gets a 21st century update he's gonna end up with a head full of sugary blended drink from the "coffee" shops of today, which is a crying shame. Why can't people leave the classics alone, and what's wrong with a strong, black cuppa joe? Don't these sugar slingers know that caffeine makes a way bigger impact with far less calories? Plus it keeps you fueled up and ready to go, so you can tackle every baddie life throws at you!
Add some deliciously geeky style to your wardrobe with this Frapphead t-shirt by Moysche Designs, featuring a fun design that'll make your fellow Cuphead fans foam at the mouth with envy!
Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!
