(YouTube link)

You may think the baboon is not too smart because it fell for that old trick, but at least it knows where the water is! From the 1974 documentary Animals Are Beautiful People. -via Cynical-C

Robin Alex, of Albuquerque, New Mexico went to New Orleans to built a Habitat for Humanity house. When she returned, her cat Charles was gone. That was eight months ago.

Then earlier this week, Alex received a call telling her Chicago Animal Care and Control had picked up her wandering cat as a stray. Staffers reached out to Alex after finding that Charles had a tracking microchip embedded between his shoulder blades, said the agency's executive director, Cherie Travis.

But Alex said she could not afford the round-trip ticket to Chicago to bring Charles home, so she was afraid he might be euthanized.

Enter fellow Albuquerque resident Lucien Sims. Sims said he has a tabby cat who strongly resembles Charles, and was moved when his mother sent him an online story about Alex and her pet.

Sims volunteered to pick Charles up and bring him back to New Mexico, as he was traveling to a wedding in Chicago. American Airlines did not charge a travel fee for the cat, and another business donated a pet carrier. Alex is happy to have her cat back. Still, no one knows how Charles came to be 1300 miles away in Chicago. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126068509

Tribbles {wiki} appeared in a 1967 episode of Star Trek: TOS and returned in the spin-off series and movies. Romulan Whore posted this diagram of the inside of a tribble, and attributed it to the Star Fleet Reference Manual. Since there are quite a few such manuals, I don't know who the artist is. http://scarlettohara.tumblr.com/post/529852763/anatomy-of-a-tribble-from-the-starfleet-reference -via Buzzfeed

Flickr user Cake Rhapsody make this zombie cake for her daughter's 8th birthday. It's made from Rice Krispies, chocolate, and fondant. No actual brains were used! Link -via Rue the Day

Pictured is Chauncy Morlan, who once made a living as a side show fat man. People paid money to look at him, because he was so unusually obese. A hundred years later, you can walk into any buffet restaurant and see a dozen people bigger than Morlan. Adam Ozimek at Modeled Behavior wonders what size people we will consider normal or freakish 100 years from now. Link -via TYWKIWDBI

Timothy Miller does wonderful stained glass windows in designs you'd never expect, including super hero logos and Transformers. Here you see his version of Bumblebee. See more in his gallery at Deviant Art. Link -via The Zeray Gazette

This is StacyBee's baby, who isn't due for a while but has already learnd to smile! Her baby shower happened last week, with an Alice in Wonderland theme. Stacy posted all about it, including photographs and links to gifts that were personalized by Etsy sellers, in case you also have baby gifts to buy for someone. Link

We've been trying to preserve, repair, or remove our teeth for thousands of years. From the manual bow drill to modern veneers, this post shows how far we have come in the quest for good, or at least functional, teeth. There are no drill sounds, but some pictures may make someone with dental sensitivity uncomfortable. In other words, they may set your teeth on edge. Link -via mental_floss

The Census of Marine Life is a series of projects to find out exactly what lives in our oceans. The latest report is an inventory of microscopic sea creatures such as plankton and animals, some in a larval state. National Geographic has published pictures of five of these creatures, including this larval stage of a tube anemone, which is only one centimeter wide. Link

(image credit: Cheryl Clarke-Hopcroft/UAF/CMarZ)

io9 takes a look at cities with something different, whether it's a colony of feral dogs who live side-by-side with city residents, a town on fire, underground office spaces, or microorganisms that flourish in toxic sludge. And then there's Thames Town, a copy of an English community in China.

This quaint English village, housing 10,000 people, is just 20 miles outside the center of Shanghai, and a new rail system puts it just 15 minutes from downtown, as part of a rapidly expanding Greater Shanghai. Thames Town was designed to look exactly like a bucolic English town, complete with red brick buildings, a sandstone church, a village green, a market square, and a pub. But it's not a theme park - developers insist it's a real residential community.

Link -via the Presurfer

Made-up games from movies and literature (especially science fiction) can be awesome, because they don't have to follow real-world safety and physics rules. This list is full of sports that would be popular if they were possible and (in some cases) survivable. Quidditch is ranked at number two.

Goals are scored by chucking a smaller ball (the Quaffle) through one of the opponents three goals without being knocked off your broom by a defense whose job it is to hit a large iron ball (the Bludger) into your body at bone-breaking speeds. The game only ends when a tiny, winged ball with a mind of its own (the Snitch) is captured by a member of either team. Catching the snitch is worth 150 points, regular goals are worth 10. Whoever has more points when the snitch is caught, wins.

Link -via Fark

The following is an article from Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader.

You'd think that with all the donut, hot dog, and pie eating contests there are in the world, there'd be no call for the competitions listed below. Try telling that to the International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE), which has certified all of the following contests.

CRANBERRY SAUCE

Titleholder: Juliet Lee, who polished off 13.24 pounds of the sauce in eight minutes in November 2007.

Additional Accomplishments: Lee, who once taught chemistry at the University of Nanjing in China, also won first prize at the 2008 Ultimate Eating Tournament after she downed seven chicken wings, one pound of nachos, three hot dogs, two personal pizzas, and three Italian ices in 7 minutes, 13 seconds.

HAGGIS

(image credit: Flicker user CasaDeQueso)

Description: For the uninitiated, haggis is a traditional Scottish dish that consists of sheep's lungs, liver, and heart that are combined with oatmeal, onion, spices, and other ingredients, then stuffed into a sheep's stomach and boiled for three hours.

Titleholder: Eric Livingston, who ate three pounds of haggis in 8 minutes in 2008.

RAMEN NOODLES

Titleholder: Timothy Janus, who slurped down 10.5 pounds of noodles in 8 minutes in October 2007.

Additional Accomplishments: Janus, a day trader who uses the name "Eater X" and wears makeup to disguise his true identity, currently holds six eating records, including nigiri sushi (141 pieces in 6 minutes), tamales (71 in 12 minutes), and burritos (11.81 pounds in 10 minutes).

CHILI SPAGHETTI

(image credit: Dane Thomas/KICentral.com)

Titleholder: "Humble" Bob Shoudt put away 13.5 pounds of "Cincinnati Chili" (a thin, meaty chili flavored with oregano, cinnamon, and cloves, served over spaghetti) in 10 minutes in September 2008.

Additional Accomplishments: Shoudt also holds the record for beef brisket BBQ sandwiches (34.75 sandwiches in 10 minutes), and the miniature-hamburger two-minute speed-eating record-39 burgers. When he isn't competing, he's a vegetarian.

PICKLED BEEF TONGUE (WHOLE)

Titleholder: Dominic "The Doginator" Cardo, who consumed an entire 3-pound tongue, plus "a few bites" of a second tongue, in 12 minutes on Fox TV's prime-time Glutton Bowl in 2002.

BUTTER (1/4-pound sticks)

Titleholder: Don Lerman, who goes by the name "Moses" and is another Glutton Bowl winner, downed seven 1/4 -pound sticks of salted butter in 5 minutes.

Additional Accomplishments: Lerman, an IFOCE Lifetime Achievement Award Winner, also holds records in baked beans (6 pounds in 1 minute, 46 seconds), bologna (2.76 pounds in 6 minutes), quarter-pound hamburgers (111/4 in 10 minutes), and other categories. He placed third in the Glutton Bowl's cow brain eating finals, losing to Takeru Kobayashi-the Tiger Woods of "gurgitation," as it's known in the trade. Kobayashi, who is most famous for winning the Nathan's Famous 4th of July hot dog eating contest six years in a row (2001-06), consumed 57 entire cow brains, or 17.7 pounds' worth, in 15 minutes to win first prize.

HARD-BOILED EGGS

Titleholder: In 2003 Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas downed 65 eggs-more than five dozen-in 6 minutes, 40 seconds, smashing the old record of 38 eggs in 8 minutes. Thomas swallowed the eggs whole. So why'd she stop at 65? The organizers ran out of eggs.

Additional Accomplishments: Thomas, one of the biggest stars of the competitive eating world, holds 29 different world titles in foods as diverse as cheesecake (11 pounds in 9 minutes), chicken nuggets (80 nuggets in 5 minutes), crawfish jambalaya (9 pounds in 10 minutes), and oysters (46 dozen in 10 minutes). To keep her stomach in top form, Thomas eats one very large meal per day. When she worked as an assistant manager at Burger King, a typical daily meal consisted of one chicken Whopper, 20 chicken nuggets, three large orders of fries, and 64 ounces of diet soda, consumed over the course of a couple of hours. You might assume that Thomas is overweight, maybe even obese, but she's not. She exercises two hours a day, five days a week, to maintain her competitive edge. Her weight typically fluctuates between 98 and 105 pounds.

PICKLED JALAPENO PEPPERS

(image credit: Flicker user cjmartin)

Titleholder: Richard "The Locust: LeFevre, a retired accountant, popped 247 pickled peppers at the Texas State Fair in 2006. (No word on who picked the peck of pickled peppers.)

Additional Accomplishments: Another living legend in the world of competitive eating, LeFevre, 63, has held records in 24-inch-diameter pizza slices (7 ½ extra-large slices in 15 minutes), birthday cake (5 pounds in 11 minutes, 26 seconds), chili (1 ½ gallons in 10 minutes), SPAM (6 pounds in 12 minutes), huevos rancheros (7 ¾ pounds in 10 minutes), and other categories. He weighs 132 pounds.

GURGITATION SECRETS OF THE PROS

Some tips we've collected from current and former IFOCE champs:

* Eat healthy in your daily diet. Avoid junk food.
* Eat fewer meals, but make each one larger to get your stomach used to accommodating large quantities of food. As a contest date approaches, eat larger and larger quantities of food.
* Exercise regularly, and lose weight! Belly fat surrounding your stomach can impair its ability to stretch out as needed when stuffed with hot dogs, beef tongue, hard-boiled eggs, etc. (This theory is especially popular with those weighing over 300 pounds.)
* Don't eat the night before an eating contest.
* If you start to feel sick during the contest, slow down! Gurgitators who regurgitate are disqualified on the spot.
* Kids, don't try this at home.

__________

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts.

If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

The following is an article from the book Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Salutes the Armed Forces. Presenting, in our humble opinion, our leading leaders of men and women at war.

1. GEORGE WASHINGTON (1732-99)

Born in Westmoreland County, Virginia, Washington grew up under the guardianship of his eldest brother. After a spotty education, he became a surveyor and eventually inherited his brother's prosperous estate, Mount Vernon. He joined the Virginia militia in 1752, advanced to major, fought during the French and Indian War (1754-60), and made it to the rank of honorary brigadier general. Washington didn't return to the battlefield until July 1775, after being appointed general by the Continental Congress.

At Cambridge, outside Boston, he took command of the disintegrating Continental Army. The American Revolutionary War-Washington energetically and skillfully revitalized the militias at Cambridge and organized them into Continental Army regiments. Using cannons borrowed from the colonies, he occupied Dorchester Heights and brilliantly forced Sir William Howe's British army to evacuate Boston and retire by sea to New York City.

Washington tried to drive the British from Ney York but failed, partly due to his own inexperience and partly due to untrained troops and clumsy subordinates. His masterful withdrawal from Long Island and Harlem Heights into New Jersey and Pennsylvania during the autumn of 1776 saved the army from extinction. General Howe captured most of New Jersey and made the mistake of believing Washington's army was militarily impotent. On the night of December 25-26, 1776, Washington's forces crossed the Delaware River in boats, drove Howe's Hessians out of Trenton, and on January 3, 1777, Washington learned that General John Burgoyne planned to invade the Hudson Valley from Canada.

Though soon hard-pressed defending Philadelphia, the national capital, he sent many of his best troops upriver and, in October, defeated the British at Saratoga. Having weakened his forces defending Philadelphia, Washington abandoned the defense of the city on September 26, forcing the Continental Congress to move west to York. Not everything went well for Washington, but he managed to contain one British force in the north while sending forces south to fight another British force under General Charles Cornwallis at Yorktown. The strategy worked, and on October 19, 1781, Cornwallis surrendered.  

What Made Him Great? Washington's unorthodox military education kept him from becoming an orthodox 18th-century general, which led to his boldness. The Continental Army never numbered more than 35,000 men, and Washington never had more than a third of it under his personal command, yet he managed to subdue, with help from the French fleet, Great Britain's professional army. Underrated by modern standards, Washington was a brilliant strategist and self-taught tactician. He also became a gifted statesman. He believed in civilian government and the rule of law, spurning attempts by his officers to make him a military dictator.

2. WINFIELD SCOTT (1786-1866)

Known as "Old Fuss and Feathers," Scott was born outside Petersburg, Virginia, and studied law until 1807, when he enlisted in a cavalry troop. At 6'5" and 250 pounds, Scott could cripple a horse-and did-so he transferred to the light artillery as a captain. Suspended briefly in 1810 for making inappropriate remarks to his superior, Scott rejoined the Army as a lieutenant colonel when the War of 1812 broke out, and led more troops into more battles in that war than any other officer. He suffered two wounds at Lundy's Lane on June 25, 1814, but 10 days later won an important victory at Chippawa, Ontario.

Raised to the rank of major general for distinguished service, Scott became a national hero. For the next 30 years, except for two trips to Europe to study military developments, Scott fought Seminole Indians in the South and Plains Indians in the West. In 1845-46, when General Zachary Taylor's battles with General Santa Anna's army in northern Mexico were inconclusive, Scott recommended to President James K. Polk an amphibious landing at Veracruz as the fastest way to conquer Mexico City. Scott planned the massive operation, and on March 9, 1847, landed near Veracruz and 18 days later captured the city.

On April 8 he began the march inland, routed Santa Anna's larger army on April 18 at Cerro Gordo, and occupied Puebla on May 15. He paused to collect supplies, resumed his advance on Mexico City on August 7, and after fighting decisive battles at Contreras, Churubusco, Molino Del Rey, and Chapultepec, captured the Mexican capital on September 14. He served as military governor there until April 22, 1848, when he returned to Washington. Promoted brevet lieutenant general in February 1855, Scott became the highest-ranking officer in the Army since George Washington.

As general-in-chief of the Army, he tried to prevent the American Civil War by counseling presidents James Buchanan and Abraham Lincoln. He sadly became what his nickname implied, "Old Fuss and Feathers," a man obsessed with strict adherence to Army red tape with the out-of-date habit of adorning his military headwear with feathers. Though physically infirm, his mind was still sharp, but he could no longer take the field and, on November 1, 1861, resigned.  

What Made Him Great? Scott left a remarkable record as a strategist, a diplomat, and a brave and skillful tactician. His Anaconda Plan for strangling the South by keeping it from its sources of supply during the Civil War was first sneered at by Union generals, but was later adopted by Lincoln, and turned out to be the overriding strategy that eventually won the war.

3. ROBERT E. LEE (1807-70)

The greatest Confederate general of the Civil War, Lee graduated from West Point in 1829, second in a class of 46, and joined the engineers. A Virginian by birth, Lee claimed that he fought for his home state more than for the Confederacy. The Mexican War-During the Mexican War, Lee served with distinction as a member of General Scott's staff at Veracruz in March 1847, and at Cerro Gordo the following month. His eye for reconnaissance and tactical improvisations led to Scott's victories reconnaissance and tactical improvisations led to Scott's victories at Churubusco, Chapultepec, and eventually to the surrender of Mexico City.

Lee worked a desk job from 1852 to 1855 as superintendent at West Point, after which he became colonel of the 2nd U.S. Cavalry and served in the Southwest until shortly before the outbreak of the Civil War. Lee was offered but rejected a top command in the Union army and resigned when Virginia seceded. On June 1, 1862, he replaced wounded General Joseph E. Johnston and took command of the Army of Northern Virginia. The Civil War-Lee became one of those rare generals who thought strategically, broadly designed his tactics, and took chances. He understood the generals of the North better than those generals understood themselves. He came up with the strategy for Major General Thomas J. "Stonewall: Jackson's Shenandoah Valley Campaign during the spring of 1862, making Jackson the most celebrated officer in the Confederacy-until he was later eclipsed by Lee.

In late June, Lee's smaller force bluffed Major General George B. McClellan's army into withdrawing, and two months later Lee outmaneuvered Major General John Pope and defeated the Army of Virginia at the Second Battle of Bull Run on August 29-30. On September 17, with a force half the size of McClellan's Army of the Potomac, Lee repulsed the Federals in a drawn battle at Antietam. After President Lincoln replaced McClellan with Major General Ambrose Burnside, Lee bloodied the massive Union army on December 13 at Fredericksburg. Lee's aggressive instincts were never more evident than at Chancellorsville. He ignored the maxims of warfare, divided his much smaller force, and on May 2-4, 1863, decimated the right flank of the Army of the Potomac with a surprise attack. But his greatest mistake occurred on July 1-3 at Gettysburg, when he was overly aggressive at a time when he should have fought defensively. He admitted the error and withdrew into Virginia.

By 1864 many of Lee's best officers had been killed and there were no more soldiers to replace those who'd been lost in battle. Forced to fight defensively, Lee held off Grant's offensive in the Battle of the Wilderness on ay5-6, at Spotsylvania on May 8-12, and repulsed the Union assault at Cold Harbor on June 3. Those battles cost Grant a third of his men, but Lee couldn't withstand the pressure and withdrew to Petersburg's trenches. It took Grant eight months to flush Lee out of Petersburg and force his surrender on April 9, 1865, at Appomattox Court House.

What Made Him Great? Lee's men adored him. In victory and defeat, they witnessed his great strength of character, his high sense of duty, and his humility and selflessness. Even Northerners accepted Lee as the greatest general of the Civil War.

(YouTube link)

Victor Huang was recording video underwater at Wahine Memorial near Wellington, New Zealand when something really strange happened.

while trying to get video of a wild octopus, it suddenly dashed towards me and rips my shiny new camera from out of my hands, then swims off, all while the camera is recording! he swam away very quickly like a naughty shoplifter. after a 5 minute chase, I placed my speargun underneath him and he quickly and curiously grabbed hold of the gun as well, giving me enough time to reach in and grab the camera from out of his mouth. I didn't feel threatened at all during the whole ordeal. he seemed to be fixated on the shiny metallic blue digital camera. the only confusing behavior was how he dashed off with it like a thief haha. cheeky octopus.

-via Metafilter

Moody Gardens on Galveston Island in Texas welcomed rare twin baby pygmy lorises, a male and a female, born March 22nd. The pygmy loris is not an easy species to breed in captivity, but the twins' mother Luyen has been very attentive to the babies. The lorises will go on display to the public when a new facility is finished in 2011. See more photos and a video at Zooborns. Link -via Fark