The new year is a time to start fresh, which is why we make resolutions to improve our lives. While our record for keeping those resolutions is pretty poor, there's nothing wrong with starting off with a new calendar and good intentions. Simon Tofield brings us some of the more common and useful New Year's resolutions illustrated by the cat.
You and I know full well that cats don't change. But sometimes they can inspire us to change by being a good example or a bad example. Simon's Cat is both.
Why? Why would you display a giant Santa Claus in a public square with no pants? It appears to be an homage of sorts to the iconic image of Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch without the charm. Look at his face- he's not enjoying the cool breeze! This inflatable Santa Claus stands outside a shopping mall in Taiyuan, China. Someone thought this was a good idea. You can imagine children climbing the fence to see what's under that skirt. It's just one of many Santa Claus statues that don't portray the idea of a benevolent old elf who brings gifts and spreads goodwill. See ten creepy and scary public displays of Santa Claus at Web Urbanist. -via Fark
You know how we makes jokes about certain types of food that run right through you? That goes for drinks, too, especially if you over imbibe. That can be a holiday hazard, since there are plenty of us who only drink alcohol on special occasions. Food artist and photographer Henry Hargreaves cut out the middleman, so to speak, with his latest food art series entitled Down the Toilet. These are classic cocktails, with recipes, served up where they'll end up eventually -in the porcelain throne. See a slideshow of them all at Hargreaves' website for larger, readable recipes or continue reading for a gallery of these drinks.
Joseph is one of those guys who will spend three days building a machine to do a one-hour job. And that's a job that only needs to be done once a year. One of his machines wraps Christmas gifts, and the other decorates a Christmas tree.
Oh, did I mention that the machines aren't good at all at what they do? Yes, they work, but the results leave a bit to be desired. Covering your tree in hairspray might seem like a great idea to keep your ornaments in place, but think about how sticky a mess you'll have trying to put the tree away. Or getting it out next year. Yuck! -via Boing Boing
The first time I saw It's a Wonderful Life, around 1986, I was alone at home and had never heard of the movie. It was depressing, long, and got more depressing as it went. I couldn't figure out where the story was going. But for some reason, I kept watching. This is not a wonderful life, I thought. George Bailey saw his dreams crushed, life was hard, and the one wealthy man in town was pure evil. And when the angel showed up, it got even worse. And poor Uncle Billy!
So evidently Uncle Billy isn’t allowed to just slightly gloat in this Wonderful Life universe – he can’t even walk away from a party without crashing into something and falling down – he’s a lovably disorganized, slightly kooky guy until he’s not so lovable – at least not to George Bailey anymore. So, every time I see Uncle Billy smile and fold that newspaper with the money inside and just hand it over to Mr. Potter I nearly scream. I scream thinking of myself, too. That moment of recognition in yourself – the nightmarish thought of committing some kind of easy blunder that results in consequences so dire, that you wish you’d never left the house that morning. Or that week, for that matter. The “what if?” spiral that leads to catastrophizing – a “what if?” that will become a grim alternate reality for George Bailey, when one wishes that, one not only never stepped out of the house, but never stepped outside for a week. In Bailey’s case, he wished he had never stepped into life.
An essay by Kim Morgan explains why I couldn't stop watching the movie all those years ago. Each of the residents of Bedford Falls are well-fleshed-out real people, with their hopes and dreams and quirks. They get kicked down a lot, but they're just doing the best they can. We can see ourselves in them. The theme for most of the film is that no good deed goes unpunished. No wonder the main character is on the verge of suicide. It's a Wonderful Life is an old fashioned horror film in that it instills a spirit of dread and despair in the viewer. Read how each character is shortchanged at Beverly Cinema. -via Metafilter
Matt Johnson's 2017 Christmas light show is a contradiction in terms. Who does Christmas lights with the theme of the dark side? And in a year we see the very first Star Wars movie with barely any trace of Darth Vader? But the show is impressive, set to an EDM version of The Imperial March.
The song is performed by Celldweller. You can visit this house at Dignowity Park in San Antonio, Texas. The light show runs nightly from 6-10 PM through January 1. -via Geeks Are Sexy
Once upon a time, you thought you were the only person who had to endure wearing a Christmas sweater that was too cheesy to be cool. It was even worse when that sweater was an actual Christmas gift, meaning you had to act grateful for it, but at least the next day you could put off wearing it for a year. Eventually we learned that was a shared experience, and the culture of the Ugly Christmas Sweater was born. But let's go back to the beginning, in the 1950s.
As America was settling into its post-war suburbia phase, the commercialization of Christmas manifested itself in new and exciting ways. One of these was the now-infamous Christmas sweater. While they’d been around in some form since the late 19th century, what were then known as ‘Jingle Bell Sweaters’ were practically a required uniform for fathers of the era as they gathered their family to go caroling, opened presents on Christmas morning, or partake in some similarly idyllic, Rockwellian fantasy.
While this particular incarnation would be considered subdued by many of today’s standards, perhaps the strangest part was there wasn’t a shred of irony in these early incarnations of holiday-themed apparel. Partly because they were seen as legitimately fun and festive attire that was almost a prerequisite for holiday merriment, and partly because irony had yet to be invented.*
*citation needed
Read the history of the ugly Christmas sweater and its evolution from embarrassment to ironic joke at Uproxx.
(Image credit: Jansport)
National Geographic News came up with a cute idea for a year-end list. There were quite a few animal stories about creatures eating, including a couple that thought they could chew up an automobile. Most of the stories are in video form, and some are cute while others are a bit cringe-inducing. The puffin above stood still just long enough to get his photograph made before he gulped down a whole school of fish he'd caught all at once. See the rest of the stories at NatGeo.
(Image credit: Sunil Gopalan/National Geographic Your Shot)
Dami Lee did a comic about her experience of taking a pottery class. This is only the first portion. The rest of the comic follows her heartbreak at finding out that nothing is as easy as it seems at first. In turn, the comic is just a setup for the photographs of what she actually made and why they turned out the way they did. While there's nothing wrong with branching out, it's a good thing she's a talented webcomic artist. Read the full story at As Per Usual.
Tradition is great, but if your Christmas celebrations need to be spiced up, you can incorporate someone else's tradition into your holiday. If pork is your go-to Christmas dinner main dish, the Philippines do it up right. Looking for a twist on fruitcake? Try Australia's White Christmas. And for a beverage with a kick, Chile's cola de mono might fill the bill.
Eggnog and glogg will leave you toasty and numb, but if you really want to get soused, consider the Chilean holiday drink cola de mono (meaning monkey’s tail). Like a White Russian, it’s a creamy coffee cocktail that goes down smooth, but where the cola de mono messes you up is the use of aguardiente, the anise-flavored spirit that translates to “fire water” for a reason. This particular recipe we tested—holy shit!—was like an iced coffee with a knuckle sandwich chaser. (You can substitute brandy or pisco if you don’t have aguardiente.)
The recipe they are referencing is here. There's also a video at The Takeout. It's just one of the Christmas food traditions from other parts of the world you should check out.
(Image credit: Flickr user restaurante kaialde)
Every year, thousands of people participate in reddit's Secret Santa gift exchange. Although it is not a competition, the metaphoric brass ring goes to the person whose name is drawn by Bill Gates. The Microsoft founder and billionaire goes the extra mile to find out what the recipient would like and then sends multiple gifts. For 2017, that astonished recipient is VietteLLC. From her entry letter, and by checking her posting history and social media, Gates discovered her preferences, in particular that she dreams of opening a no-kill cat shelter. He made donations to three of her favorite shelters ($750 total), and send a giant Pusheen cat!
I could fit about 5 of me in the box I got. I did, in fact, stare awkwardly at the FedEx guy - I was so far beyond confused. Then I saw my Reddit username and apparently said “wwhaaatttt” in such a weird way, the delivery guy started laughing. I tried to pull it inside and I guess looked ridiculous, so the guy ran back up to help me lol
I figured it was some cat tower from Amazon prime - right? I mean - what else.. a gigantic cat? Let’s be serious. I instantaneously recognized the big grey blob shape and 2 tail stripes and, I kid you not, screamed like a little girl. I was over the moon, and immediately loved my mystery santa for all of eternity, for ever and ever. They CLEARLY knew my soul.
As Pusheen was being released from his box, I picked up a letter with a picture, and thought it was SUPER weird that someone was so obsessed with Bill Gates as to send me a photo of him. Then I just caught fragments of the letter all at once “a donation has been made” “bill gates”, and my cat’s names. It clicked and I started to burst out loud laughing and crying simultaneously. I was a cliché.
There were plenty more gifts included. VietteLLC gives us a list of them and the story of receiving her Secret Santa gift here. -via Mashable
Did you know that koalas can stretch their necks upward to reach tasty leaves and pull in internet wifi? And that the European wasp survives mainly on coffee? Just make sure to avoid the pizza snake!
This retro-style documentary on Australian animals is admitttedly about as plausible as the real stories of these weird animals, but is not to be taken as the work of someone who actually knows what they're talking about. -via Laughing Squid
There's no way Hollywood can render a movie superhero who look exactly like the comic book original, because people aren't drawn that way. But some of them are pretty darn close, especially the better-known characters like Superman and Batman. Others go through quite a few changes moving into the world of live-action fim. Aquaman seriously needed a makeover, considering his reputation as a lame comic book superhero, and they did him right by casting Jason Momoa in the role. See how other comic book superheroes were changed (or not) for their live-action movie versions at TVOM.
There were a lot of office Christmas parties in the last couple of days. Some of these workplaces try to boost holiday spirits by staging a contest. Who will go out of their way to dress in a Christmas theme? Some people went above and beyond the call of duty, and posted their creations at reddit. Above, sas7ate9 was a tree. The garland was sewn onto a sweatshirt, and the star is attached by a headband. She didn't mention whether she won the contest.
Redditor dibbiluncan won her office costume contest with this tree hairstyle. The prize? An ink pen. It wasn't even a fountain pen.
The theme for Rule1ofReddit's party was wacky hair. So she went as Cindy Lou Who.
And GFYZain posted a video of the winner at his office's ugly Christmas sweater contest. A good time was had by all.
Instead of an iron fist, King Louis XIV ruled with his dancing shoes.
In 1692, a young French aristocrat visiting King Louis XIV’s royal court was asked if he knew how to dance. The cocky aristocrat, who went by Montbron, replied with characteristic overconfidence, gloating enough to attract the attention of other courtiers. Rookie mistake. It wasn’t long before the room of nobles asked him to prove it.
It was a truth universally acknowledged that a man pining for a political career in 17th-century France needed a dance teacher. The ability to dance was both a social nicety and a political necessity, the birthmark of an aristocratic upbringing. “Good breeding demands that pleasing and easy manner which can only be gained by dancing,” the famed dance teacher Pierre Rameau wrote in 1725. Dancing badly in court wasn’t just humiliating, it was also a potential career killer -and Montbron was all talk and no game.
The aristocrat took to the floor and immediately lost his balance. The audience doubled over in laughter. Embarrassed, he tried deflecting attention from his legs with “affected attitudes,” waving his arms and making faces. The move backfired. Everyone laughed louder -including the most important man in the room, King Louis XIV.
“There were reportedly more than two hundred dancing schools in Paris in the 1660s, all devoted to training young noblemen to avoid similar dread breaches of etiquette,” writes Jennifer Homans in Apollo’s Angels: A History of Ballet. The young aristocrat didn’t show his face in court for a long time after his grand flop.
King Louis XIV, a lifelong ballet dancer, would have it no other way. To him, ballet was more than an art. It was the political currency that kept his country together.
