When a student couldn't finish his summer reading assignments, he turned to Yahoo! Answers for help. He asked for someone to summarize the novel The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep And Never Had To for him, as the beginning of school was only ten days away.

The author of the book, DC Pierson, is a comedian, actor, and writer, whom some might know only from an Allstate ad. He responded to the query about his book, not by giving him a summary, but by giving him a reason to read it.

I'm not going to sit here and act like I didn't sometimes not read assigned books for class in high school. Even though it's referenced once in my book, the book you're avoiding reading, I've never actually read "The Scarlet Letter." So I'm sympathetic to your plight. But I think you'll find there's a ton more sex, swearing, and drugs in my book than anything else you have been or will be assigned in high school, and I don't mean in the way your teacher will tell you "You know, Shakespeare has more sex and violence than an R-rated movie!" I mean it's all there, in terms you will readily understand without having to Google them. Plus not once to I refer to anything as a "bare bodkin" or anything like that.

I guess all I'm saying is, of all the books not to read, to beg the Internet to read for you because your library is being remodeled, mine seems like an odd choice.

That's just a small part of his answer, which was rated the "best" of 18 responses. Link | Pierson's post -via Geekosystem

We've been so busy with the new site that Neatorama's seventh anniversary just slipped right past me! Alex is not one to celebrate such things, so I feel the need to point out that Neatorama was born on August 9th, 2005, with this innocuous little post:

It was two years before that post got its first comment. At the time, Neatorama was Alex's hobby, and he made a commitment to post five "neat" items a day, which eventually paid off. Now the site has over 48,000 published posts, a half-dozen authors, sub-blogs and social networking adjuncts, and a shop to support all the rest. And now we have our own blogging platform! It's been a great seven years.

(Image credit: Cakesy)

Once again, it's time for our collaboration with the always fascinating What Is It? Blog. Do you know what this thing is? Or can you make an amusing wild guess?

Place your guess in the comment section below. One guess per comment, please, though you can enter as many as you'd like. Post no URLs or weblinks, as doing so will forfeit your entry. Two winners: the first correct guess and the funniest (albeit ultimately wrong) guess will win T-shirt from the NeatoShop.

Please write your T-shirt selection alongside your guess. If you don't include a selection, you forfeit the prize, okay? May we suggest the Science T-Shirt, Funny T-Shirt and Artist-Designed T-Shirts?

See more at the What Is It? Blog. Good luck!

Update: the pictured object is the first U.S. patented ice pick, number 15,483. The very first commenter, Galen, knew the answer, and wins a t-shirt! The funniest answer came from pismonque, who guessed it to be the original Shake Weight, quite popular in the 19th century until someone put his eye out (which barely beat out "binary abacus," also from pismonque). So pismonque wins a t-shirt from the NeatoShop! Thanks to everyone who played this week. Find out the answers to all this week's mystery items at the What Is It? blog.

(YouTube link)

Juila Child gets the auto-tune treatment, courtesy of PBS Digital Studios. August 15th would have been her 100th birthday. PBS has a celebration page up, with information and tributes to the French Chef, as well as recipes, episodes of her show, and even a quiz. Link -via Metafilter

See also: Julia Child's 100th Birthday

Hartman’s Historical Rock Garden in Springfield, Ohio is one of those roadside attractions you should see if you're in the neighborhood. It began as one man's hobby that over time grew into an amazing creation.

The art project dates from 1932, when Harry George Hartman lost his job during the Great Depression. The molder occupied his time with creating rock sculptures in his back yard, spanning all sorts of themes. Religion, historic buildings, recreations of famous battles and hundreds of thousands of stones.

You can see it, too -the admission is free. Or see lots of photographs at Random Good Stuff. Link

(vimeo link)

A mother tries her best to deal with a son who is addicted to video games. GLUED is a short film by several third year students at the Bezalel Academy of the Arts in Jerusalem. They documented the process of making the film on their project blog. Link

Learn about these strange creatures that are fish shaped like a horse that gestates its babies in the male's body. And better yet, see lovely pictures of seahorses from all over the world at Environmental Graffiti. Link

(Image credit: Flickr user Choh Wah Ye)

Have you been to NeatoBambino lately? Just in the last couple of days, we've posted two new rap songs about dealing with children. Even if you aren't a parent, you'll get a kick out of the clever wordplay.

The Parent Rap involves the whole family, though Mom and Dad are in control. "When it comes to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player."

In Daddy Skills, a young father explains his new life to his old buddy. "Say, dude, look at you, all mature and wise."

Other recent posts show you some neat kid-friendly crafts, like a toy car made from a bottle, a school bus made from a Twinkie, sushi made from recycled plastic, and a flying saucer made out of breakfast! Check them all out at NeatoBambino. Link

(YouTube link)

Your life changes so much when you become a father. In this music video by Sam D. feat. DJDave, one friend explains how it is to his childless buddy. The song is downloadable; you'll find several links at the YouTube page. -via Laughing Squid

Did you know there are over 400 species of sharks? The dangerous sharks seem to get all the publicity, especially suring Shark Week. Find out how much you know about the different shark species by taking the Lunchtime Quiz at mental_floss. You'll be given six sharks. All you have to do is match the name with the picture. Yes, I got all six right. Link

After you take the quiz, read our previous Shark Week feature The Ten Weirdest Sharks Ever. Link

Cartoonist Rachel Arnow thinks Shark Week is shortchanging the audience. Manatees can be ferocious, too! Check out her comic Man vs. Manatee. Link -via Tastefully Offensive

An entomological adventure tale
by Stephen Drew, AIR staff

NEWS ITEM: “An Israeli woman swallowed a cockroach and then a fork she used to try to remove the insect from her throat. The winged cockroach jumped into the 32-year-old woman’s mouth as she was cleaning her home in a village in northern Israel this week… [a] surgeon at the Poria Hospital in Tiberias, on the Sea of Galilee, removed the fork with laparoscopic surgery, a minimally invasive procedure performed through a tiny incision on the patient’s abdomen.”
— from a wire service report by the Associated Press, July 10, 2003

There was a young woman who swallowed a roach.
No one knows why she swallowed the roach.

There was a young woman who swallowed a fork
That wriggled and jiggled when she applied torque.
She swallowed the fork to fish out a roach.
No one knows why she swallowed the roach.

There was an incision into a gal’s tummy
Occasioned by something that made her feel crummy.
She felt bad because she had swallowed a fork.
She swallowed the fork to fish out a roach.
No one knows why she swallowed the roach.

There was a winged cockroach who had some adventures
That started when he flew through some woman’s dentures,
And ended with him dissolved in gastric juice —
The doctors came too late to set the roach loose.
The doctors arrived when the woman felt crummy.
They drilled through her tummy to fish out a fork.
She swallowed the fork to fish out a roach.
No one knows why she swallowed the roach.

And no one knows what to make of these affairs,
And nobody really much cares.

BONUS: The traditional song "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly"

(YouTube link)

_____________________

The article above is republished with permission from the July-August 2003 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!

Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.

Back in 1958, when Hunter S. Thompson was 21 years old and no one called him a gonzo jounrnalist yet, he wrote a letter to Jack Scott of the Vancouver Sun trying to land a job.

Sir,

I got a hell of a kick reading the piece Time magazine did this week on The Sun. In addition to wishing you the best of luck, I’d also like to offer my services.

Since I haven’t seen a copy of the “new” Sun yet, I’ll have to make this a tentative offer. I stepped into a dung-hole the last time I took a job with a paper I didn’t know anything about (see enclosed clippings) and I’m not quite ready to go charging up another blind alley.

By the time you get this letter, I’ll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of The Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I’ll let my offer stand. And don’t think that my arrogance is unintentional: it’s just that I’d rather offend you now than after I started working for you.

I didn’t make myself clear to the last man I worked for until after I took the job. It was as if the Marquis de Sade had suddenly found himself working for Billy Graham. The man despised me, of course, and I had nothing but contempt for him and everything he stood for. If you asked him, he’d tell you that I’m “not very likeable, (that I) hate people, (that I) just want to be left alone, and (that I) feel too superior to mingle with the average person.” (That’s a direct quote from a memo he sent to the publisher.)

Nothing beats having good references.

Oh, there's more to the letter. Read the whole thing, plus context and the article that inspired it, at the Toronto Sun. Link -via Nag on the Lake

(YouTube link)

It can be annoying when non-students drop in unannounced. This happened at the University for Peace in Costa Rica. -via Buzzfeed

Marlo Thomas wrote the story of a group of nine women in West Tennessee who decided to honor their grandma by doing something for their neighbors in need. They pooled a little cash each month, and started a tradition of anonymous giving. That was 35 years ago.

And then the women started listening. They’d eavesdrop -- all with good intentions, of course -- at the local beauty shop or when they were picking up groceries. And when they heard about a widow or a single mom who needed a little help, they’d step in and anonymously pay a utility bill or buy some new clothes for the children.

“We wanted to help as much as we could,” Mary Ellen said, “without taking away from our own families, so we became coupon clippers. And we’d use green stamps. Remember those? We’d use green stamps and we’d make sure to go to Goldsmith’s department store on Wednesdays. Every week they’d have a big sale and you could spend $100 and walk away with $700 worth of merchandise.”

The Nanas would find out where the person lived and send a package with a note that simply said, “Somebody loves you” -- and they’d be sure to include one of MaMaw Ruth’s special pound cakes.

The more people they helped, the bolder they became.

“We gave new meaning to the term drive-by,” Mary Ellen said with delight. “We’d drive through low-income neighborhoods and look for homes that had fans in the window. That told us that the people who lived there didn’t have air-conditioning. Or we’d see that there were no lights on at night, which meant there was a good chance their utilities had been turned off. Then we’d return before the sun came up, like cat burglars, and drop off a little care package.”

The "9 Nanas" kept their works secret from even their husbands for decades, but now that the secret is out, they've expanded their business of spreading happiness. Read the whole story at HuffPo. Link -via Metafilter

(Image credit: Happiness Happens)