The following is an article from Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader. 

(Image credit: Flickr user Library and Archives Canada)

When this bizarre story surfaced a few years ago, it reminded us if this quote, attributed to Warren G. Harding: "I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends -they're the ones that keep me walking the floors nights."

NORTHERN EXPOSURE

If you had to invade another country, how would you do it? Believe it or not, the United States military spent a lot of time pondering that question in the late 1920s, when it came up with a plan to invade its closest neighbor, Canada.

There was certainly a precedent for the two nations battling it out. The Continental Army invaded Canada during the American Revolution, and the U.S. Army made repeated incursions during the War of 1812. In 1839 the state of Maine only narrowly avoided a shooting war with the province of New Brunswick over a border dispute. Then, in 1866, about 800 Irish-American members of a group called the Fenian Brotherhood tried to occupy part of Canada for the purpose of using it as a bargaining chip to force Great Britain to grant independence to Ireland (They were quickly driven back across the U.S. border).

That last invasion had an upside for Canadians: It convinced the last holdouts in the independent provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Ontario, and Quebec that they'd be better able to defend themselves against the next invasion if they banded together to form the Dominion of Canada, which they did on July 1, 1867.

Canadian soldiers in World War I. (Image credit: National Library of Scotland)

TO THE DRAWING BOARD

Of course, these skirmishes paled in comparison to World War I, which raged from 1914 to 1918. That war, which was precipitated by the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand of Austria, caught most of the belligerents by surprise. It also lasted longer and was far more costly in blood and treasure than anyone ever dreamed a war could be. None of the nations that fought in it wanted to be caught off guard again; many began planning for whatever war might be lurking around the corner. The American military drafted a whole series of color-coded war plans to cover just about every conceivable scenario: War Plan Black was a plan for war with Germany; War Plan Orange dealt with Japan, a rapidly growing power in the Pacific. Other colors included Green (Mexico), Gold (France), Brown (The Philippines), and Yellow (China). There was even a War Plan Indigo, in case the United States eve had to invade Iceland, and a War Plan White that dealt with civil unrest within America's own borders.

Mefite Rhaomi constructed an ASCII periodic table of the elements in which each elemental symbol is a link to something about Breaking Bad which contains the letters of that symbol. For example, the symbol K (potassium) leads to a compilation video of kills from the show. The symbol Xe (xenon) leads to a photo of Dean Norris (who plays Hank Schrader in the series) wearing a Xena Warrior Princess costume at Comic Con. Really. There are videos, articles, funny pictures, fan art, recipes, compilations, and things even the most rabid fan hasn't seen yet. This took a lot of work! What you see here is just a screenshot; you'll find the embedded links at Metafilter. Before clicking any of the symbols, set an alarm for the start of the finale. Remember, this table will still be there when it's over.   

It sure looks like someone Photoshopped their craft project onto a separate background, but this one is floating in space for real! The cute little dinosaur was made by hand by astronaut Karen Nyberg on the International Space Station. Nyberg has been living on the ISS for several months now, and unveiled her craft project on Pinterest. She took a sewing bag with fabric scraps up with her, but used found material for the toy. It is made from Russian food pouch liners with a discarded t-shirt for stuffing, Nyberg's three-year-old son Jack will have a truly distinctive souvenir of the time his mother stayed away so long.

The dino is most likely the first stuffed toy made in space, but it is not the only stuffed toy on the space station. Soyuz commander Fyodor Yurchikhin brought a white dog and cosmonaut Oleg Kotov arrived at the ISS on Wednesday with a small black cat. Russian crews traditionally hang toys from their control panel to indicate when they reach orbit -that's when the toys begin to float. Flight engineer Nyberg is expected to return to earth November 11th.   

-via Metafilter

(Image credit: Karen Nyberg/NASA)

No one outside of the production team knows what will happen when Breaking Bad airs its series finale tonight. The show was never designed to be an ongoing series, but to tell a story that leads to an end. It won't fit into the standard syndication model as easily as, say, Law & Order, because showing episodes out of order would disrupt the narrative. With the finale tonight ("Felina"), the web is full of people who either want to call the results or fantasize about what they would like to see happen, no matter how implausible. Here are some of those predictions, ranging from the calculated to the outlandish. Since the blurbs may contain spoilers for those who are not current on the show, continue reading to see the roundup.

The blogger at Wait But Why went to North Korea as a tourist and gives his/her impressions. The post is full of black humor as it contrasts what is presented on the carefully orchestrated tour for foreigners with common knowledge of the way North Korea works.

If you merged the Soviet Union under Stalin with an ancient Chinese Empire, mixed in The Truman Show and then made the whole thing Holocaust-esque, you have modern day North Korea.

It's a dictatorship of the most extreme kind, a cult of personality beyond anything Stalin or Mao could have imagined, a country as closed off to the world and as secretive as they come, keeping both the outside world and its own people completely in the dark about one another—a true hermit kingdom.

The "twenty things" are accompanied by links to videos taken during the tour, and photos and comics illustrating the points made. The writer totally oversimplifies the Korean War, which somewhat undermines the logical argument that North Koreans have it wrong, but otherwise it's an edifying account of one person's impressions of the country. Link -via reddit

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Have you ever driven over a floating bridge? They move, which is frightening enough, but here in America, they usually stay above the water. The good part of this video is from 1:20 to about 2:00 if you don't want to watch the whole thing. You may come away with a renewed respect for the inspections, restrictions, and regulations we have to put up with. -via Daily Picks and Flicks

I can relate. When I walk into a store this time of year, I am overcome by the desire to buy a table centerpiece and matching placemats, even though I've never used either one in real life. Or a comfy sweater, when I haven't even felt cold in several years. Or silk leaves, for some reason or other. And who can resist those bags of candy? Maybe fall shopping reminds me of my childhood, when school shopping meant new penny loafers and knee socks and plaid skirts and sweaters. Comic by Sarah See Andersen. Link  -via Pleated-Jeans

I recognize that there cowboy! That's Neatoramanaut Glen, dressed as Woody for our featured costume of the day!

Here are a couple of pictures of me dressed up as Woody from Toy Story from all the way back in 2010.  I am sending two because one is a close up and the other shows off the entire costume including the back "pull string" which was a last minute shower curtain ring addition on the day of Halloween.  Everything was either handmade, borrowed, or something that I already had around the house.  I wore my costume to work and was mobbed several times through out the day by strangers who wanted their picture taken with me.  Several people thought that I actually worked for Disney (I do not), and the most memorable part of the day was when I went to catch the train to go home a group of 8 or 9 teenage girls saw me from across the street and literally ran over screaming and started snapping pictures and each one wanted their picture with me.  That was the best costume that I have ever had and some of the most fun.

Thanks, Glen!

Send us a picture of your most memorable Halloween costume! Email it to tips@neatorama.com and then look for it on the Halloween Blog during October. The best costumes will win a t-shirt from the NeatoShop! We've had a different featured costume from our readers every day so far at the Halloween blog.

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When I post marching band performances, it's usually because they have a clever show. Not this time. This short clip of an unnamed school marching band has a section of eight Sousaphone players. While marching backwards, number two goes down followed by five or six others. No one was injured, but two instruments were damaged. This kind of thing happened all the time when I was in marching band (not always my fault), although we never had more than one Sousaphone player. -via Tastefully Offensive

This headline made me think, were there really any truly competent Jedi knights or Jedi masters in the Star Wars universe? This list includes a few from the "extended universe," or other Star Wars stories besides the six movies, and I'm not well familiar with those. But it does point out the flaws in the good guys we know, like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I think we can give Obi-Wan a pass for being a shitty teacher to Anakin; I mean, he wasn’t remotely qualified, but Qui-Gon gave him the job anyways, forcing Obi-Wan to promise him as he died. That’s some heavy shit to lay on a Padawan, and you can’t blame Obi-Wan for trying — and failing — to fulfill his insane master’s wishes. But you can blame him for everything he did after the prequels. Call me crazy, but lying to the very last Jedi about his dad seems like a recipe for disaster, and indeed, it nearly was. At the very least, it’s probably information Luke could have used before he went to face Vader in ESB, so he didn’t have a massive emotional breakdown or anything. And why the hell did Obi-Wan allow himself to be cut down by Vader in A New Hope, anyway?

Poor teaching skills over two generations and a famous plot hole. I'm still surprised that the death of Obi-Wan wasn't "fixed" in the director's cut. Read the rest of the criticisms at io9. Link

This is what happens when you have John Farrier for a librarian.

Honestly, we don't know who took the picture, but we know John will gladly take credit for the idea. The geekiness of your local librarian is a feature, not a bug.  -via Geeks Are Sexy

Update: The photo was taken by Grace Nuth, originally posted here. Yes, she is a librarian! -Thanks, Thomas!

Cable providers have to pay media producers a set amount per subscriber. To offset the costs of the higher-priced channels (particularly ESPN), your cable company bundles those channels into tier plans, so that many people subsidize those higher-priced channels. This means, on the one hand, that many people are paying for ESPN even if they never watch sports. On the other hand, there are people who only get cable so they can watch sports on ESPN. You're not alone: most cable customers pay for 80 or more channels and watch only a half-dozen or so. NPR's Planet Money explains the system more in their podcast. Meanwhile, this handy chart has the highest and lowest prices media producers charge cable companies. Link  -via Digg

(Image credit: Quoctrung Bui / NPR)

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You may have noticed that the average young male athlete won't consider doing Olympic-style gymnastics, maybe because the style and scoring are extremely rigid and the uniforms are weird. But if you make it freestyle and call it something else, like breakdancing, parkour, tricking, or martial arts, then they are quite willing to jump right in. There's a lot of talent out there! Watch scenes from the Red Bull Kick It 2013 Taekwondo competition in South Korea. -via Viral Viral Videos  

On Tuesday, we're going into October, the month in which things turn weird on the internet, as scary stories, creative costumes, and generally ghoulish fun prepare us for Halloween. Here at Neatorama, we take Halloween so seriously that we gave the holiday its own blog! It's been updated all year long, but in October, you'll want to take advantage of the costume ideas, recipes, and spooky entertainment offered at the Halloween blog. 

Have you entered our Halloween costume contest yet? No, you don't have to have a costume ready. In fact, the "contest" part was actually an afterthought. We want to show the world your costumes from the past! Whether it was last year or decades ago, send us a picture of a Halloween costume you wore (or made for your kids) that made some Halloween memorable, whether it was awesome, funny, embarrassing, or just one you particularly liked. We want to share those pictures with everyone, so beginning Tuesday, we will feature a "costume of the day" on the Halloween blog! It could even be more than once a day, if we get a rash of late entries. We will give t-shirts to those who send in the best costumes. Send your picture, and the story behind it, to tips@neatorama.com and then look for the parade of Halloween costumes starting Tuesday on the Halloween blog!

Meanwhile, we had an abundance of great feature articles this week. Here's your chance to catch up if you missed any of them.

To get you ready for the new sequel this weekend, Jill Harness wrote Expecting Delicious Weather? Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs Facts.

John Farrier gave us 12 Weird Cheetos Variants. Next, we need him to try them out for a Don't Eat It, John! post.

Eddie Deezen told us the story of The First Beatle to Visit America.

Alex came back to writing in a big way after taking care of other business most of the summer. He gave us two entries in the "5 facts" series: 5 Fascinating Facts: Echidna and 5 Fun Facts: It's All Greek To Me.

He also gave us 5 Surprising Things That Have Cow Parts in Them.

Alex also wrote 4 Surprising Facts About Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte.

And he posted a fascinating story and pictures in Don't Mess with Samurai Monkey.

The What Is It? game ran longer than usual this week, and it will be another day before the official answers are posted at the What Is it? blog, but since we wanted funny-but-wrong answers, we'll go ahead and award the winners. Erin Werra said, "These are the score cards the Russian judges WANTED to use at the Olympics. They're mounted on handy "persuasion tools" to encourage other judges to lower their scores as well." That one deserves a t-shirt! Randall had a great answer, too: "Gopher traps. Among the animal kingdom, gophers are statophiles, they love esoteric information and are fascinated by trivial numbers. When these are placed in a field inhabited by gophers, the little rodents will burrow right up to the number to read it (they are slightly nearsighted) and POW! it kills them with the spring loaded spike." So Randall gets a t-shirt from the NeatoShop, too! The answers to this and the other mystery items of the week will be posted at the What Is It? Blog on Sunday, and I'll update the contest post then. 

On the Spotlight Blog, we had a gallery of HAMuel L. Jackson and Other Wordplay Graffiti by Hanksy.

A notable post that started out as a link and turned into an essay was Should You Take Your Lottery Winnings in a Lump Sum or Annual Payments?

The Shower Experiment came from the Annals of Improbable Research.

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader contributed How the West Was Won.

Isaac Newton: 17th-Century London’s Dirty Harry came from mental_floss magazine.

You can always access our latest feature articles by checking the row of images at the top of the main page. But this week we had so many exclusive features that I should remind you that you can use the little arrows on the sides of the banner to go to the ones that don't fit on the page.

We had one poll this week, in Atheism vs Theism vs Agnosticism vs Gnosticism. Here are the results as of this morning. You can still participate if you haven't already.



Hy Conrad's Whodunit this week is titled Blue Carbuncle, the Sequel.

Jill Harness, who keeps the Neatorama Pinterest board updated every day, announced another project: The NeatoShop Pinterest board! Bookmark it for an easy way to keep up with new offerings at the shop, and an easy way to share them. Watch for more Pin to Win contests coming soon!

While we're on the subject of the NeatoShop, have you seen what's new for Halloween? Different items are coming in every day!

The post with the most comments this week (besides the contest) was Atheism vs Theism vs Agnosticism vs Gnosticism. In second place was 4 Surprising Facts About Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte, and The First Beatle to Visit America was third. 

The most popular post was Why Didn't People Smile in Old Photographs? Which was followed by Atheism vs Theism vs Agnosticism vs Gnosticism and Don't Mess with Samurai Monkey. The bar was set pretty high this week, as many other posts would have made the top three in other weeks. Thanks to everyone who shared our posts!

The post that people ♥ed most was Deer Patiently Waits at Crosswalk for the Traffic Signal, with John Lennon's Imagine, Made into a Comic by Pablo Stanley coming in second and Fireman Recusitates Kitten: Another View was third.

The most emailed post was 12 Weird Cheetos Variants followed by The First Beatle to Visit America and Why Didn't People Smile in Old Photographs?

We so appreciate everyone who shared our posts on social media this week! I'll present our social media star posts in decending order.

The most Facebook likes went to:
Why Didn't People Smile in Old Photographs?
Atheism vs Theism vs Agnosticism vs Gnosticism
The First Beatle to Visit America

The most tweeted posts were:
Why Didn't People Smile in Old Photographs?
Don't Mess with Samurai Monkey
4 Surprising Facts About Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte

The most shared on Google+ were:
Atheism vs Theism vs Agnosticism vs Gnosticism
Why Didn't People Smile in Old Photographs?
Don't Mess with Samurai Monkey

Looking forward to next week, check out Neatoramanauts' featured costumes on the Halloween blog starting Tuesday, and even more great stuff here on the main page. Have a great week, Neatoramanauts!

The internet would be such a cold and boring place if everyone just grew up and got a job. Comic by Jeff Wysaski of Pleated-Jeans. Link