Every teenager in every photo has their head up and is looking at the world around them; not one is staring religiously at a cellphone, ignoring life. Times were simpler back then.

Looks like Malarian steel.

Isn't the time-and-effort saved in setting up the board nullified by the time-and-effort spent in putting the pieces into their exact holes?

Not a cigar smoker, so I wouldn't have recognized the cigar. But I know crack!

"The rounded, almost spherical forms have a lot of aesthetic appeal."
Based on the lady in the photo, I thought the article was talking about something else.

Dear Chinese millionaires,
Stop it!

Southern Rock (literally)

Huh. I never knew why lemon drops were called that.

What is "ass magic" and does it involve that stick in any way?

I suspect those 9,500 calories were expelled from her body before they had time to become part of it.

I agree with the author; I drive an old car that cost me $750 (but still runs great!) and all of my non-underwear clothing comes from garage sales, but I buy the best chai and toothpaste.
Also, if you ever get into archery, splurge on a dozen identical arrows; a cheap bow will shoot good arrows consistently, but an expensive bow isn't going to shoot well if you use crappy arrows.
What's an ass-car?