And during all his adventures, he still found the time to marry 3 different women - at the same time - so add polygamy to his list of unsavory hobbies. But what a busy fellow!

That dude who looks like Hitler should just shave off that mustache. And comb his hair differently.

At least they don't have to be fart-sniffers in bad science experiments.

"...the average person farts between 10 and 20 times per day". The key word here is 'average'. That means for every pretty girl who doesn't fart, there is some guy who farts between 20 and 40 times per day. We make the average possible.

It comes served with its own salad. How convenient!

A hundred buck says she's single.

This was the funniest thing I've seen in years. John, not only was Martin Freeman in the Hobbit movies, but he was also on The Office (the BBC version, not the funny one), so this is a perfect cross-over.
So glad I watched this!

I like that door that looks invisible.

I made it up to one minute? and twenty-four seconds? before I got annoyed by the constant questioning? And then I turned it off.

South Texas: obese women.

The cat accidentally got into the Soylent Green factory. The townspeople made up that story about the paint as a distraction.

Dear Santa,
This.
(P.S. 10 feet isn't very far. Can your elves make it shoot farther?)