"If you don't know who your father is, anyone could be your sister."

Well you could eliminate roughly half the population to start with.

This has been done so many times.

That's not a yacht, it's a pretty basic power boat. And as for its land capabilities, its slow, unwieldy and not even roadworthy. Clever, but pointless.

It doesn't matter which is faster because they are props. Which is cooler is what matters and for my money it's the original. The styling on the '89 version tries way too hard to be dark a menacing and as a result just comes off looking really fake.

Sorry, but I don't buy the story about the police. People travel that stretch of the Thames daily in all sorts of craft without any hassle from the river police.

The only reason he would get any hassle at all is if he didn't have the relevant registration for his boat. He did have that didn't he?

Great animation, good action although the chase went on a little too long with nothing new happening. Whether it would make a good feature would depend on none of those things. It would depend on whether or not it was a good story well told and you can't get an idea of that from that short.

Strictly speaking many things sold in the UK as biscuits are not biscuits. The reason being that to qualify as a biscuit in strict baking terms (rather than legal terms) an item must be cooked twice - this is what makes them so crispy. A biscuit is cooked, cooled and cooked again. I suppose something that isn't a cake (and the jaffa cake is) and isn't a biscuit would be a cookie.

I remember being told I had to see it. So I saw it. Dull.

They're just movies FFS. Entertainment. You'll see nothing different in countless movie sword fights.

Ted, a vasectomy takes way less time than making a pizza let alone delivering it. There's a thought, if they can't do the vasectomy by the time your pizza arrives you get the vasectomy for free.

Critical illness insurance? Don't make me laugh. That really is the biggest con in the insurance industry and that's saying something. Critical illness insurance comes as close to the Monty Python Neverpay policy as it's possible to get.

Alex is right, indicating your comment is sarcastic defeats the object of sarcasm.

It's in a similar vein to those people who have to point out when something is a joke. If we can't tell it's a joke without being told then it isn't funny and so isn't a joke.

How do you know that?

Except that an elevator shouldn't fall even if the cables snap. Elevators are fitted with a simple braking system, as they drop hinged weights swing up and out arresting the descent. It's simple and it's foolproof.

Like all these weird records it's just the longest jump measured by Guinness, not the longest ever performed. We had a GP who could easilly jump further than that, but then he was a much bigger piggy than that one.

One of his favourite tricks was jumping clear over a sofa cushion that was laid on the floor in front of him. Not only was the cushion longer than a foot it's shape meant he would have to jump even further than that to clear it.