Randall's Comments

Criticizing your country is not unpatriotic. Part of the logic of criticism is that you believe it could be better, and want it to be better. Blindly 'loving' your country isn't the way of a democracy, its the way of totalitarian states.

I've only been to england once, the people were nice.
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This is a sewing biffle for angora leather work. Proper use of it results in acute carpal tunnel syndrome, so most biffleing is done with a knee biffle or what is commonly called a scrandow cretchit. For exotic work though, the biffle is still preferred, but used more slowly and usually in conjunction with a crebble.
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Its a Winkletaker bung cutter. George McCroon Winkletaker, a frustrated gunsmith, tried to incorporate the power of gunpowder into other aspects of colonial life. His eccentric career was ended when he was attempting to demonstrate the cannon-powered carriage.
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Its not a hammer at all. This is a Frengle bitsetter for use in the delicate art of goat crossfertilization. I can only explain its use as 'coercive nudging.'

Goats are complex animals.
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Okay, I can groove on a miniature Minias Tirith, but somehow making it out of 8 zillion matchsticks seems a little crazy. I guess matchstick modeling comes from a time before video games when to occupy kids on a rainy day you gave them a box of matches and some elmers glue.
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Well, it looks pretty gruesome because all the bright paint has worn away, but this is ' Meeraflu', a flower gethering device from Belgium. In the deft hands of a country girl a basket of perfect blooms can be gathered without bruising a petal, all while gently singing the Belgian national anthem. In WW2 the Nazi gathered all these (the Meerflus, not the country girls) and melted them down to make tanks. Nowadays, they just rip the flowers out of the ground and stuff 'em in tow sacks.
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Its a purkle, used for spagulation of fromus gallopers. Remember the line from your grade school poetry class:

'Vembly gaithers the corker's purkle,
Tween Gallopers fast alight
Bravely kiffles the grumish gurgle
Twixt afterthought's first light'
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Its a Pligger-Towforth mechanical hearing aid. No batteries- No wires! You simply clench the indented end between your teeth and face the speaker. The sound is picked up by the parabolic receiver and transmitted to your 'inner ear' through your jawbone!

Pligger-Towforth went out of business after a young woman wearing the device accidently swallowed after emitting a gasp of surprise during a marriage proposal and died.
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Its an Iron Klotchel, used in making the traditional Bohemian pastry Bladdofasklitcha. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals successfully petitioned congress to outlaw the process of making Bladdofasklitcha and to passess a Klotchel, Iron, Rubber, or zinc, is punishable by a $3,000 fine and six weeks incarceration.

Get rid of the damn thing.
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Yes, it is the Isis puzzle BUT, the original was found in the empty sarcophagus of Muttakamenic choatus Rhagi, the infamous court wizard to King Tutankhamun who was put to death for casting wayward glances at Nefreti. The 'Death Orb' was placed in his body and he was buried alive. The purpose was to imprison his soul for all time, but because every prison has to have a door, it was to have a lock. Whomever was so foolish to unlock the door would be immediately possessed by the released soul. It is also rumored that the original Death Orb has dissappeared from the Cairo museum and there is some speculation that it was placed among the replicas by a cult follower so that some unsuspecting puzzle solver would open the prison and be possessed, thus returning an ancient evil to the world of man.

I got one for Christmas and throew it away.
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This is a non-sparking Porduk taphammer for adjusting wire spokes on zeppelin landing gear. Prior to landing the 2nd under-porter would inspect the wheels for trueness while suspended in a harrison rig. In 1925 a suspended under-porter became alarmed by a closely passing church steeple and dropped his taphammer from a height of 144 feet, killing a mule.

After this a new landing system was devised which exposed the aircraft to unknown hazards.
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It is a Fenk Key. This key isn't inserted into a clock to wind it but rather the clock is placed upon the key and rotated while holding the key between your knees. Only three Fenk clocks are known to exist in the hands of collectors, and they can't pass them off to any suckers because every horologist of any measure knows a Fenk and would dash it to the floor immediately.

Christine Fenk, the clock inventor and manufacturer converted his clockworks to manufacture firearms, but tragically died while test firing the first Fenk revolver.
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Punish him for playing the lottery with a warning. (yes it is gambling but is legal gambling). There isn't any rules against winning the lottery.

Do not send him back to jail, we have enough people in jail and we shouldn't incarcerate someone who is unlikely to commit a crime.

If you have ever had any dealing with our justice system, you learn that the 'easy' solution is rarely the best one.
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Profile for Randall

  • Member Since 2012/08/04


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