This is a perfect example of 'Nefas-Fabrika-Legitimus' or using the wrong thing in the right way. The device is a Crismus Freg, a handheld toll for primping a ruff collar. It works perfectly but no one wore ruff collars in 1923, when Mr. Rich Crismus invented it. After financing the manufacture of 10,000 of these, his backer hit upon a brilliant idea and put an ad in a local newspaper with a picture of the freg with the title 'What is it?' The correct guesser won $25. After several unlikely suggestions a use for this device was discovered and now one can be found in nearly every hard boiled egg eating household in America.
I'm already fighting plaque by brushing and seeing my dentist. A plague would be something worse. I think I'm already seeing zombies, mindless creatures that wander the earth without the ability to spell.
Its a rack for nickle-plating counterfiet deutschmarks from WW2. Unknown to most is the US's efforts to disrupt the third reichs economy by counterfeiting the nazi state 1 dm coins. The plot failed when it was discovered that the ersaltz US dms were made from higher quality materials than the german, and gave the impression to the average german that the economy was improving.
It is a soviet army biscuit buttering machine. Called a "Kampechnya' Nudfatna Vechnitatak" (Stlins Whore) by the troops it has been used to make a rough tasting vodka from wood chips or delouse sleeping clothes, depending on the region. No one has ever figured out how to butter biscuits with it. Although it is offically listed as a biscuit buttering machine, no one in the soviet army is exactly sure why.
The CIA spent over 17 million dollars researching its deployment.
This is a phrygonometer, used by 19th century detectives to detect truthfulness in oral statements. However in 1891, it was revealed as a hoax. The inventor, a Phineas Q. Cantrell, confessed that he had invented the gadget to fool his wife into believing his explanations for his late night activities. He would return from a poker game and under strict questioning from his spouse, would tell his story while squeezing the 'lie detector's' 'detecto-bulb' and register that his cover story was truthful. She in turn insisted he market the device, and being backind into a corner successfully sold it to several police agencies in the tristate area. After several convictions (squeezing the bulb too hard would register as a 'lie') and resulting death sentences, Phineas broke down and confessed it to be a hoax. The entire embarrassing truth was covered up and oddly enough, he was awarded the Philmore medal for his contribution to law enforcement. He died in 1922.
A Weslaf tooth aligner. Manfred Q. Weslaf was a scottish inventor with crooked teeth. He invented this device to help straighten them, and later developed Wenslaf false teeth mde from sheeps teeth. He died penniless and drunk, a broken man with a frightening smile.
Its a Gigalloni roller. True Italien pasta afficanadoes witll recognize this wonderous device that is used to create the fabulous gourmet dish: 'Giganto Gluttonatta,' which is reputed to be so deliciopus that the diner is unable to stop eating, and the portion is so enourmous that after eating the victum dies of acute intestinal blockage almost immediately.
Its a Criquenel. It is used for the ceremonial scatttering of chicken bones during the St Dornop day abolutions. The current interpetation is to simply eat fried chicken.
It is a splindelet. This was used in the steam age weaving industry to align contrasting warps. It was invented by Myron J. Kustonornivec after witnessing a particularly gruesome accident in a New Jersey mill. Subsequently several hundred children were put out of work and their families suffered.
Its a Fobinator cap. When not in use, a fobinator will randomly emit gesren fluid at various pressures, the result of which may be embarrassing or fatal (or both!) When I was working as a pimble on a stannal rig in the Ural mountains, I carried at least three in my hip pockets everywhere I went. I never suffered from 'the slobber' (Guion's syndrom), but I did develop a particular gait.
Still, poor spelling is an epidemic.
The CIA spent over 17 million dollars researching its deployment.
Its the italien version of blowfish sushi.