Its a Poldyne tuner wrench master socket set. Although those small square things (Poldyne wrench socket heads)look similar, each is manufactured to a specific gravity and harmonic imbalance. Without a complete set you can never get your poldyne drive properly attenuated and then you'll be stuck on some desolate alien planet forever. Believe me.

A Prockle wedge, used for calibrating shim-tuckers in the krestining phase of base lifting. I worked
as a trable wacker in the Nova Scotia melding pits one summer and wore out three wedges until I learned how to do it right. Never clack-slat to the left of the shim break!

The brass ones were the best, I had to use the malachite models because I was new and inexperienced.

A voble resonator, used to communicate with the deceased by mystics. Unlike other gimmicks, this one actually works. The unfortunate truth is, the dead say very little that is of use to the living.

"Uncle Benjamin, where did you bury the money?"

'oooo-ooooo, I'mmmmm deeeead, ooooo'

"Its me your nephew Charley, where is the money uncle Benjamin?

'ooooooooo, its daaaaaark heeere, oooooooo'

And so on.

Its a Riccon Wrench. In the early 40's oversized Blendal crunchers were used to chalup granite blocks for industrial mixes. Size was adjusted from scatia to rough froll and the Riccon nut needed to be adjusted to control size and mass displacement. The second world war disrupted the the granite chall industry when it was discovered that common beach sand could be substituted in all applications. The 42 ton blendal crunchers were soon melted down to make sherman tanks and the only surviving evidence that the industry ever existed is the odd Riccon Wrench, treasured by collectors and museums worldwide.

This is a Benjoul, an Amicinniarissan symbol of temporal authority. The Amicinna were a society discovered living on the coast of Peru who fervently did not believe in time. There culture resolved around the 'here and now' mode of existence and it is said they had a profound effect on young Einstein during his missionary trips to South America. The temporal authority was the chosen person who told everyone when to do things, such as getting up or eating lunch. As part of their beliefs, he was strictly ignored. Temporal Authoritys usually committed suicide within a few years, so only unpopular tribe members or criminals were chosen for the jobs. The small collection of tribes were wiped out to a person in 1957 by unusually high tides.

Helping the oriental mind understand american justice.

This is a russian made hand cruppler. A Weevolint inspector uses this small device to make a nonsymetrical hole from which to draw a sample for semi-destructive testing. The device had to be small so that it could be concealed from the Weevolint, else drastic violence may ensue. Weevolints were finally made extinct during the Bavarian Ice riots of 1932.

Its a Scovuncial Clasp, usually just called a 'clasper.' Traditional Irish clog dancers frequently suffer from embarassment when their strenuous dances cause the breast bands of their authentic 13th century styled under garments to loosen and drap from their blouse fronts in an unseemly fashion. This small clasp helps them maintain their dignity, even while performing the "hunting eels in a septic bog' routine.

This is a a squeeg. This device was used by English policemen to affix their helmets before duty. The wearing of chinstraps was forbidden by order of the king in 1872 as he believed them to be a papal plot to 'silence the English state of law.' So the 'Bobbies' leather helmets were fitted a size too small and were afastened to the lawmans head using this tool. It had a partner device called 'popper' to remove the helmet, though details of its construction are undocumented. It is rumored that it used a greased sausauge fixed to a foot pedal mounted on a chair with a hole in its seat.

It is an Omnimopometer, used for transducing intersteller space prior to the discovery of Edwerkel's unsolveable quotient. While many oldsters still swear by the 'peter'it was found to have a base 6 flaw which had the alarming effect of reversing the hearing of one traveler in 16,000,000. I had one made of malachite.

It is a Souple Weaver. In the little known religous sect of Wemblism, started by Charley (Chas) Wemble, it is held that all things are interrelated and that all of mankinds sufferings are a form of disease. To realign all elements of the temporal world and cure said disease, the afflicted is passed through the loop of the souple weaver, be it a person, a broken pencil, or a newspaper article about a disaster. The Wembleists disbanded in 1934 when their leader, Chas, went to prison for forgery.

Its a curvicle. As a boy it my chore to go out to the chilling hut and curvicle the family's shoe points before Sunday church. This was quite a task before the epidemic. I had really hoped to never see one again, just looking at it makes my thumbs ache.

This is the 'kurtzen' teegle hammer. Its introduction at the 1844 Wastenhal conference of Remblemanner caused a minor scandal and gave rise to the slogan 'Komm und Drang!' With the exception of Argentina, which had outlawed Resten-kepling as a sport or vocation in the previous year, its use was universally adopted and the 'Lang' teegle hammer was held up as an object of derision.

This device resembles a locksmith's 'raking' tool for opening locks, but is in all actuality a mezzobrawnic cliffer, or a 'cliffee' in the parlance hedge wizards. It is used in conjuction with a forthee and vigaluck to renovate crop circlers. Notice the worn appearence and slight deformation of the after spengle. Obviously this once servicable tool has been hard used by a careless evoker.

I was out with my 6 year old son on an errand and a local bank was celebrating a grand opening with a clown handing out ballons. I asked my son 'you want a balloon?' 'No,' he answered 'clowns scare me.'

So I said:

'Lets go beat him up then.'

'Ok' answered my son, and we headed for the clown, who readied a ballon, never guessing our intentions.

But when we got there, the clown turned out to be a woman, so we couldn't beat her up. My son took the balloon and wasn't afraid of clowns anymore.

We never told mom about it.