Hah! 4/12 - but then I don't even know what sport the Super Bowl is for and haven't heard of most of the options mentioned.
And before you stereotype me as terribly British, I'd be just as stuck on cricket and football (the round sort).

My kids use knives - how else are they to cook and make things?

Americans seem to have a very different attitude to houses than in the UK. Yours seem built to last a certain length of time and then you scrap them and start again.
The house I'm in now is the newest I've ever lived in, and it's nearly forty years old. The others I've lived in range from 1950s, through 1930s back to 1850s. They're all still standing and no one has any plans to flatten them and start again.
I guess it means you don't get stuck with a housing stock that has poor insulation and is difficult to fit modern stuff into.

Trouble is my son's reading lamp is a 0.7W LED unit - it barely registers on meters!

Jill: Surely you'd want to rub mustard /in/, not off?

Shame really, 'cos Darwin would have loved it.

Pepsi was intended to convey connotations of pepsin and peptic as in "Good for the digestion".

The one that tickles me is Otis Spunkmeyer - made up by a twelve year old girl.

Will you Americans /please/ get it over with so the rest of the world can have its media back? The BBC is full of it, heck, even the French media won't leave it alone!

How long before the dibbles pinch someone for speeding citing video evidence of their own jacket?

I'm tickled by the ones in petrol station price displays - in the UK we're often told not to use mobiles on forecourts but Shell rent out space in their price boards for cellphone base stations.

Does it sharpen razorblades?

Sounds like the Islamic branch of the Westboro Baptists.

My 11 year old son has hair nearly to his arse and has only had nits once. They were easy enough to deal with - long hair doesn't automatically attract the little sods, but it can make it harder to find them.

Or try the local dialet...
www.eta.co.uk/slow_you_down_say_norfolk_villagers/node/11038

The only method I've found that works well are liquids based on isoproyl myristate. It's not a toxin, it dissolves the waxes that waterproof the lice and they die of dehydration. Far harder to evolve a resistance to, for a start, and not toxic to humans.