"it was literally the size of a closet!"

No, it wasn't.

I wouldn't be at all happy if my partner preferred sleeping alone. if this croppped up early in a relationship I would take it as a sure sign that the relationship wouldn't last.

I've been with my partner for 11 years and we sleep far better together than seperately. Only exception is when one of us is sick and can't sleep in which case one of use will sleep in the spare room.

This is genuinely fascinating. To see someone write so... casually... about being bought and sold. I don't have the words.

D Bozko, do some reading. Seriously, go and read some books about evolution and see that nothing changes in a single, quick BAM!

"Hairy sakis are seldom seen in captivity because of an unfortunate character trait: they tend to panic and die of shock at the smallest fright."

That can't be right! How the hell did this species survive if they die of shock at the "smallest fright?"
Juust imagine one them sneezing - it could wipe out a whole group!

You, sir, are a DELIGHT.

Will you marry me?

That was great. Lovely animation work.

Cockney Rhyming Slang is the most worthless, godawful thing that's ever happened to our species. It is made 18 TIMES worse when used non-ironically by non-cockneys.

Why wouldn't you just quit?

Please don't start with that moon-landing-was-faked nonsense.

All I can think of is how the head is just a repainted Optimus voice changer. They could update it with the Bumblebee one they made for TF2.

These look excellent. Love the ghosts, too.

...
Do we really need a three letter acronym for primates?

I'd love to know what the criteria for "sport" are as I put in my real name and alias and both ended up with huge sport segemnts. I hate sport. I have no interest in it at all.

Neat idea.