Seriously, another one?

http://www.metafilter.com/73495/Fonts-Personified

If I can't extract it straight from the tap, I would like to buy some of this magic health milk. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and all that.

I sense another lucrative economic niche for women in the 3rd world.

Dear eccentric, rich jerkass,

If you want to ensure your pet animal lives as long and happy as possible after you die, bequeath it to a random middle-class family with kids on craigslist. It will eat cheap dog food, yet feel like a prince at the center of the universe until the end of its days.

BUT...

If you want your dog to get assassinated or otherwise end up as the centerpiece of some shadowy intrigue, why don't you bequeath it millions of dollars that will otherwise wind up in the hands of the shrewdest player.

No one will think twice about offing your beloved pooch if they think they have a slim chance of getting so much as a couple hundred bucks out of it, much less millions. Shit, there are people lining around the block up to shoot the millionaire dog out of nothing but spite and envy.

"Artwork for the images was done by the cartoon's creator Matt Groening..."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7975925.stm

"More than anything these look like they were drawn by a complete hack, or a three year old, take your pick."

Actually they look funner, more whimsical and expressive than the regular cartoon. I wish the show looked more like the stamps. I will bet you anything Groening himself is the artist.

He was henchman rather than dictator, but Heinrich Himmler's daughter is still living out there somewhere, 80 years young, working in the Neo-Nazi underground.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gudrun_Burwitz

Albert Speer III is a world famous architect who designed the Beijing Olympic complex.

What if he stood on it so his weight was less distributed? Would he sink? What if he jumped up and down?

By the way that wont happen. If you're 115 years old you probably have the IQ of a retarded person. Remember that story the other day about mental decline starting at 27? If you're 115, I'll bet your brain looks like a degraded block of Swiss cheese. Eating cottage cheese is pretty much all you can do at that age.

Some scholars are pretty old, but they don't really have to learn new things. They're basically coasting on 70 years of accumulated reading. Most of it probably forgotten, but when you've read 20 times as much as the average person that doesn't matter much.

But almost no old people can really learn anything new, and the older you are the worse it gets. A 15 year old boy can plausibly pick up a guitar for his first time, and re-invent rock music within 5 years. A lot of rock musicians are famous within 10 years of the first time they practiced. A 70 year old never does that.

A 10 year old boy exposed to his first real math equations can be at the forefront of some crazy new technical discipline at MIT within 10 years. A 70 year old never does that.

Once you're old, you are either coasting on the niche you made for yourself while you were young, or you're pretty much done. An 80 year old is an 120 year old is a 300 year old.

People who live until they are like 200 years old are almost always women, and almost all of them squander the last 150 years doing nothing but watching soap operas or, in this case, eating cottage cheese. OK my children are all grown up, time to sit on my ass for an entire century doing absolutely nothing while historical milestones fly by.

No wonder they live forever, they don't do anything. It's hard to have an accident if you're just sitting in a chair all day. Their metabolisms probably slow down like a hibernating bear.

Just once it would be cool to hear about someone that lives to 115 that actually manages to pack two or three whole lifetimes worth of experience into that extended lifespan. Like yeah, I was an architect, but then I turned 70 and realized I wanted to be a surgeon or a stunt pilot. I trained for 8 years and still had a 30 year career. Bravo, two lives packed into one.

When John was found more than a year later, he had thick hair covering his body

I saw Principle Skinner and Mrs. Krobapple in the closet making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and one of the babies looked at me.

As long as he comes with an adorable little hat and scarf, I'm all good.

Too easy. Obviously it's Scrotie the huggable hockey mascot for the The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS.

http://deadspin.com/sports/whimsy/your-alltime-best-mascot-winner-176616.php

Goooo NADS!

Doesn't transform?

Gay.

OK, it's too bad science says I have to hate that song, because I actually prefer it to what's on mainstream radio and music television. That kicks Nickelback's ass any day of the week.

I don't find it annoying at all.... when it ended I missed it, and played it again! It's fun and whimsical; there's all kinds of very, very similar bubbly, fun, crazy music on Greasy Kid Stuff on WFMU.

http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/GK

Mike Patton has finally gone too far.