Neatolinks: The Doge Ugly Sweater

when i tried to make sword scissors but failed

Marge Simpson's hairdresser's shears.

ROFLCOPTOR PILOT
mens XL

Used for circumcisions...Benihana style !

wanted: dead and or alive schrodinger's cat
large
chocolate

Without these, you are up the telegraph pole without a cable.....

wanted: dead and or alive schrodinger's cat
large
chocolate

This is the operating handle for Big Bird's beak... you don't want to mess with Big Bird. Seriously.

Office Guy Shirt & Tie S

The first generation of scissors from the Renaissance. They came in 2 pieces and had to be used with both hands.

Even today, we still refer to one scissor as "a pair of scissors".

("Bad Chewie" shirt please._

A type of side mounted bayonet.

I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier. (L)

Optimus Prime's baculum.

Pirate rehab, 2XX

Threshing blades accidentally dropped by the Grim Reaper.

I would like a 2XX sized ‘Discombobulate – How Many Daleks Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?’ t-shirt in charcoal.

Back in his rebellious teenage years, the Grim Reaper wanted something "more bad-ass" than a plain old scythe. And thus; these were born!

No prize, just like sharing my knowledge.

Twin furrowing blades that garden gnomes attach to field mice to plow the ground.

PB & Jellyfish, L, Serene Green

Edward Scissorhands' nail clippings?

medieval back scratchers

This is a set of knives used for skinning the blubber off whales.

Battle Damage, mens medium

Little spikes that clip onto state highway workers' hardhats to prevent birds from roosting.

nyuk,grey,xl

Clip-on Dali mustache

nyuk,grey,xl

Original Gillette M3 rasor blades, designed to give you a close shave and gently massage your brain. The design was eventually reconsidered,after a few test runs...

Neotorama XL, grey

Scythe blades.
Battle Damage, L.

Blooming hell. In a medium, please. Crikey, I'm forgetful.

Oh dear, I forgot to say. The No Smoking Caterpillar T-shirt, please.

In Victorian England the wealthy upper classes really loved socialising. One day a dinner party to introduce your daughter to nobility and gentry of a marriagable age. The next night a debauched soiree celebrating the genius and rebellion of the pre-raphaelites, or whichever of the artists was curently not passed out under the table.
The problem was this - How to reach your destination, through the narrow, sewerage sticky streets without (and I shudder) touching a poor person. Sometimes the brief journey from your carriage to the desirable door was even enough time for a grubby little woman or disgusting raggedy child to brush against your carefully laundered garments.
Being the age of innovation a very fine gentleman came up with these 'Spacial preservation devices'
The loop of metal fits around the ear of the wearer with the prongs facing upwards inside his top hat. This ensures that the device stays securely attached to his head and that no undesirables will venture too close. Huzzah!

2 blades held together by something I don't know

Unicorn Poop XL

grandma's toenails

large black battle damage

Satan's Ski Poles?

Caged Heart, Medium, Black.

I hate copying other people but I cracked myself up....Edwards lost middle finger.

women's large, navy, hippo potty mouth

Well look at waht you found!!!! My granda's ear hair trimmers!!!!

Womens, large, navy hippo potty mouth

Finger Scythes used to trim the landscape of a miniature railroad.

PB & Jellyfish, L, Serene Green

Ye olde letter opener.

no prize

OLD tent spikes.
What happens at Grandma’s L blue.

I'm completely guessing.

Old portable gun stands. The spike goes into the ground, and the U shape at top is for leaning your rifle against. Possibly so that you can keep your weapon loaded without being in danger of dirt and gunk getting into the firing mechanisms?

What happens at Grandma's L blue.

Tree/Pole Climbing Spurs

PB & Jelly Fish, Large, Serene Green

These are surrealist flamingos. Just stick them in the ground to enhance your landscaping.

Brainier than the average bear XXL natural

Vampire teeth for those steampunk twilight fans.

Brainier than the average bear XXL natural

Horse crampons.

Battle Damage, chocolate, large

Tis a midevil speculum, used for...well...you know....

Battle Damage Adult XXL please

Coswell Spurs, for riding wolly mammoths. When I was young, after the glaciers receded, we'd all gather together and have a mammoth rodeo. I laugh at these so called 'cowboys' and their 10 seconds on a bull. After we 'broke' the mammoth, we'd have a big barbeque, if you know what I mean. If we didn't 'break' the mammoth, well, there would be no need for the barbeque.

Guns don't kill people, dads with daughters kill people. White, XL

Remains of Edward Scissorhands cousin, Robert knifetoes.

Discombobulate 2xl black.

A bayonet for bikes.

Hello My Name is McLovin T-Shirt XL

Respectfully submitted for your edification:

Each of these is a prototype of a cutting tool invented by Jebediah Scissor. Jebediah tried to market it for cutting paper and textiles, but it failed miserably. His son, Obadiah Scissor, had a stroke of genius and joined two of them together using a rivet as a pivot point, and the rest is history.

Request Denied t-shirt, large

A spade to drive into the ground to help support the growth of plants, especially tendril-like species.

Schroedinger Cat Trap, Chocolate, Medium.

Lawn-cutting sturrups for road crews. Before mechanical lawn mowers, operators would ride horses at full gallop with these on the shoulders and medians of roads.

Unpredictable swing voter, small natural

demon teefs
support cloning - Med.

Some folks call it a sling blade.

Schroedingers cat trap xl

Rooster fighting spurs

Grandma' house T-shirt Ladies Med.

Nothing Peta would like to see...

A set of knives to be attached to the feet of roosters for a cock fight...

I (Blood Splatter) Zombies 2xl military green

I believe it is a set of Cock Fighting Spurs to be fastened to the legs with cord.

Tshirt Mens Large

Craig Clayton

Edward Scissorhands' nail clippings!

Grandma' house T-shirt Ladies Med.