Frostbite- Chapter 45

Chey lifted the pistol in her hand and studied it as if there were some hidden message engraved on it. Some explanation of why it had been placed in the bag with the sandwiches and magazines.

When she actually thought about it, though, there really was only one conclusion to be made. A pistol with a single bullet in it is useful for a small variety of things, and only one of them made sense given where she was. And how alone she was.

The pistol was Bobby’s final gift. The last residue of whatever he might have once felt for her. He was being merciful. The thought made her grin crazily. She had never meant anything to him, not really. She couldn’t have. She was just convenient, a way to bring Powell out into the open.

His apparent affection for her—the words he’d spoken when they were quiet, when, after sex, she would reach for him—those words weren’t sincere. They were calculated, intended to achieve a certain effect, and in that regard they’d been very successful. He had a problem— Powell—and she had presented a solution. That was the closest thing to affection he’d felt for her, that she was useful.

He hadn’t expected her to get scratched. To join the club. Now that she had, she had become a new problem. And the pistol was what he’d come up with. The silver bullet was the solution. He was going to let her solve herself.

She lifted the pistol to shoulder height. She wondered if it mattered if she shot herself in the heart or the head. Blowing her brains out might hurt fractionally less—before she even knew what was happening she would just be gone, a puff of smoke blown away on a stiff breeze. If she shot herself in the heart it might take a couple of seconds for her to die. Excruciating, burning seconds.





Yet wasn’t the heart more traditional? That was how the stories usually went. Or was she thinking of vampires? Yes, of course. It made no difference where she shot herself. It was just “Silver bullet plus lycanthrope equals no more lycanthrope.” Just that simple.

Then again—what if she was wrong about that? She had never actually seen a wolf killed by a silver bullet. What if she shot herself in the head and it didn’t work? What if she had to lie there in her blood and scattered brains until she changed again?

She lifted the weapon as nonchalantly as she could and tapped the muzzle against the side of her head. Then she started laughing and put the gun carefully back down on the floor.

She kept laughing until she realized she couldn’t stop. Then she clutched her hands over her mouth and rolled up into a ball and tried to squeeze herself shut before her mind leaked out all over the floor.

She picked up the gun again. Contemplated just doing it. Finishing the whole sorry mess of her life the only way left to her. But her stomach was growling. She was still hungry—ravenous, after five days with nothing to eat. Maybe a last meal would help. Give her the strength to do what she had to do. The food might help her think more clearly, and . . . and she reached down and found nothing but a piece of wet ham lying on the floorboards. The stale bread and wilted lettuce leaf were gone.

“You can have that part,” Dzo said. “I’m a vegetarian, remember?”

It was so natural, so perfectly ordinary for him to be sitting in the corner nibbling at a piece of bread, that she didn’t scream. She just turned to look at him with half a smile on her face. He was sprawled across the floor with his mask tilted up, his furs spread out around him, making him look as flabby as a bear about to go into hibernation.

“Powell’s gone off, and told me I couldn’t follow, which left me kind of at loose ends. Thought I’d pop in and see how the lady shape-shifter was doing,” he said, as if she’d asked what he was doing there. He looked at the gun that was dangling loosely in her hand. “Not so hot, it looks like.”

“I’ve been a little ...upset,” she said. She was crying, she realized. She couldn’t make herself stop. As dehydrated as she might be, her body seemed to still have a few tears left in it. “Don’t try to stop me,” she told him, almost begging him to do just that, and lifted the gun. Felt its weight.

“Why would I do that?” he asked, all innocence.

“You’re not human,” she said, as if she’d just realized it. She had no idea what he was, but he definitely wasn’t human. Some kind of ancient Indian spirit or something. “You can’t possibly understand what I’m going through.”

“Because I’m not human, right.”

She nodded slowly. “They hate me now. They want me to die. I can never go home, never feel safe around another human being, ever again.”

“And that’s enough to make you want to die?” Dzo shrugged. “Weird. Monty didn’t feel that way.”

“But look at him! Alone up here! All alone, with just—just you for company. Which, no offense, is not what I consider enough.”

“None taken,” he said, and she could see he genuinely meant it.

“I can’t be alone. Not forever. I’ll go crazy. Just as crazy as I did being locked up in here. I’ll start thinking that maybe I was wrong, that people can understand me after all. I’ll head south, just to see another human being. I’ll kill somebody.”

“Yeah, it’s tough being a lone wolf. You need a pack.”

“What?” she asked, as she lifted the pistol to her forehead.

“You said I wasn’t human, and that’s true. But then neither are you. Not anymore.”

“Shut up,” she told him. She gripped the pistol in both hands so it wouldn’t shake so much.

“You’re a shifter now,” he told her, as if he hadn’t heard her. “Not a human. What you need, I think, is to find Monty. Be a pack with him. That’ll fix you up.”

“Powell wants to kill me, too,” she said.

Dzo laughed. “Oh, come on. Really? You really believed him when he said that?” He scratched at his swollen gut. “No way. He was mad, sure, because you kind of, you know, betrayed him.”

“Yes,” she said. “I did that.”

“But the way he looks at you, man! The way he talks to you. I’ve been living with him for a long time and I never heard him say more than a dozen words at a stretch. Then you come around and the guy just won’t shut up. He needs to be in a pack, too. It’s a real shame. I thought the two of you were really going to make it together. Oh well. Hey, I don’t know much about guns or nothing. But it looks like your safety is still on.”

She yanked the pistol away from her face. Stared at it.

“It’s that little catch there. Just switch it to the left,” he said, helpfully.

“Dzo,” she said, and couldn’t think of what to say next.

“You want me to do it for you?”

“Dzo. I don’t want to die.”

“Then maybe you should leave the safety on.” He shrugged.

“I just don’t want to be alone.” She laid the gun gently on the floor. And then she covered her face in her hands and moaned. Long and loud. Her body shook with it, with the realization. That she did not want to die. That she wanted to survive. “I’ve made so many mistakes. But I want to live.”

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Her body was rejecting her old humanity. Her belief that all this was temporary, or that maybe there was a cure. She was accepting that she had changed, that she was a lycanthrope now. She was accepting what that meant.

It meant, for one thing, that she needed to apologize to Powell. Explain herself to him. Convince him not to kill her. Because the only way she was going to live—and that was what she wanted, it was definitely what she wanted—was with his help.

It might also mean she would have to fight. Bobby and the Pickers-gills weren’t going to be pleased when she failed to kill herself like she’d been told. They might try to lock her up again. They might try to kill her. She would have to defend herself.

Most assuredly, though, it meant she had to get out of the tower.

“Well,” Dzo said, looking slightly uncomfortable, “I guess that’s settled, so I’ll just be going.” He started to stand up.

“Hold on, Dzo,” she said. “Can we get out of here? Go someplace else and talk there? Pretty much anyplace—anyplace at all—will do.” He must have come in through the trapdoor, she thought, since there was no other way in. Which meant the door had to be open. She scrabbled over to the trap and yanked on the latch—and nearly pulled her arm out of joint. It was locked up as tight as ever. She pulled again just for form’s sake, but nothing had changed.

She turned to look at Dzo. He just shrugged.

How had he gotten in?

Suddenly she realized she was naked and she grabbed for her sweater. Dzo didn’t turn away or blush or anything. “This—this means nothing to you, does it?” she asked. She pulled it on anyway. “You don’t care if I’m naked.”

“Gosh, do you mean if I care what kind of clothes you wear or if you’re in your altogether?”

She nodded.

“Well, to be honest, not as such.” He scratched his belly. The question seemed to make him much more uncomfortable than her nudity. “I mean, I barely have time to notice what color your skins are. Humans kind of all run together in my head. They’re like mayflies, eh? Here for a second and then they’re gone. I like you shape- shifters better ’cause you last a little longer, but, well, still and all.”

She nodded again, understanding none of that.

Maybe she could worry about it later. “Dzo, you got in here somehow. I’m sure that if I asked you how I wouldn’t understand the answer.”

“Dove through the water. I’m a pretty strong swimmer.”

“See what I mean?” she said. “Can—I—dive through the water?” she asked. “To get out of here? ”Whatever it meant, whatever weird new fucked- up action it might entail, she knew she would do it. Anything to get out of the tower.

His face opened up as he considered her question. “Well,” he said, finally, “no.”

“Okay.”

“No, you see, because the water I’m talking about, it isn’t water like you’re used to. It’s everywhere all at once, kinda, and I don’t think you know how to swim like that.”

“Right,” she agreed.

“Now, as for teaching you, that’s been done before, but that’s a long time since. Like back when all the stories were still true.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, defeated. She slumped back against the wall of the fire tower and closed her eyes.

“But that’s not to say there’s no way out for you. Why, I can see a pretty good way right now,” he told her.

“You can.” It wasn’t a question. Because she didn’t expect an answer, at least not one that made sense.

“Yeah, sure,” he told her. “You just open up one of these windows and jump out.”

Check out the previous chapters of Frostbite right here.


Excerpted from Frostbite: A Werewolf Tale by David Wellington. Copyright © 2009 by David Wellington. Published in the Unites States by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc. Published in the UK as Cursed by Piatkus Books, an imprint of Little, Brown Book Group.



Purchase Frostbite - In the U.S.:

* Amazon

* BN.com

* Borders



In the UK:

* Amazon.co.uk











Comments (0)

The school's heart is in the right place, but wtf was it thinking. Mind-f*cking 6-year olds? The responsibility of making lunches doesn't rest on any elementary school age kid. The school should have told the parents directly that it was holding an elitist campaign like this.

However, it is a very good idea and would be a great way to instill a sense of eco-responsibility at a young age... as long as the parents knew it was happening.
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When I was a tiny, my school did similar things, but first it sent a letter home to the parents to explain the whats and whyfores and gave them an option to fill out a form for a free, reusable lunch-kit.

I remember winning a t-shirt with an airbrushed cougar (the school's mascot) for not using aerosols in the house.
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So if you fore go the plastic landfilling bag your kid has a chance to win some crappy toy that probably is worse for the landfill, and that they have plenty of in the first place?

Iv'e had clutter issues, and see the teddy bear as jus as worse thing as the plastic bag.
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The school administrators should be ashamed of themselves. First of all last time I looked Ziploc bags were legal to use. There are certainly better ways to teach kids to be environmentally conscious than excluding them from something fun. Besides what six year old makes the decision on how their sandwich is packaged for their lunch? Maybe Manticore was running their household at age six but most of us had parents who made decisions for us. Oh and I would have wanted that teddy bear too.
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Sounds fine to me. And it obviously got the point across. Solution: take the tupperware out of the dishwasher and actually wash it by hand if need be... ie, don't be so lazy.

At 6 I would've most likely cried in a similar manner. Six year olds cry for a lot of reasons. Guaranteed though that I would remember that plastic doesn't decompose and is bad for the environment.
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Where does me running my household at age 6 come into the picture? I'm just saying at 6 years old, I didn't care about teddy bears. I had more fun picking through the gravel drive at my elementary school looking for cool rocks/fossils.

And obviously I meant for the kid's mom to wash the tupperware. If she's the type to use them instead of ziplocs anyway, wouldn't she take a moment to wash one piece by hand? It's not hard. Shit, my family doesn't even have a dishwasher. We do ALL our dishes by hand. Le gasp!
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Soooo making a kid cry is gonna help him be more environmentally aware? This teacher needs to get a life and stop pushing politics in a way that will alienate people. Sick. Anyway, the kid didn't pack the lunch. That teacher could have thought this through a little.
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I keep wondering this with all the push towards tupperware and other plastic containers...although they are reusable...are still NON-compostable plastic and end up in the landfill too. I don't get it. I can uderstand reusable...but it's just creating a bigger plastic industry...just for plastic containers. Which are still abundant and not solving the problem.
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I agree with the heart in the right place but this is the wrong way to go about it.

There are far more effective ways to save the environment than cutting ziplock bags out of your day. Simply by riding a bike 1 day, 3 miles, to and from work you reduce your environmental impact more than a decades worth of save ziplock bags.

Cutting ziplock bags out is the equivalent of driving your Hummer H2 to buy some CFL bulbs and thinking you helped the environment.
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So....sandwich bag=nonono, but what about pudding cups? fruit roll ups? or the dozens of other over packaged snacks that may be packed in lunches. ziplocks can be reused, does teh teacher sell tupperwear? excluding a child because of something THE PARENTS DID, isn't exactly a good thing, kid's probably pissed off that his parents screwed him over for the draw
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More important than any potential environmental issues is the fact that the teacher is potentially ostracizing a child for something that is mostly out of their control. That is cruel. The teacher should be ashamed.
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Any kid that didn't bring organic groat clusters in a hemp sack should have been sent home.

Ziplocs probably harm the environment less than tupperware. I doubt you can get more than a couple dozen uses out of tupperware used by kids before it is broken or lost. Plus no wasting of water or using detergents with ziplocs. More environmental to just use the little plastic bags.
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Shameful. It's just another attempt at social engineering through children. Maybe the teachers should spend more time teaching children and less time attempting to teach their parents.
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Schools are a place of socialization, or "social engineering" as some people put it. Like it or not, it is where kids learn a lot of their social skills and values. They spend 7-9 hours per day there in heavy social contact, so it's naturally going to happen.

The only problem I have with what the teacher did is that they did not speak with the parents first. As noted, six-year-olds do not pack their own lunches, so excluding kids who had plastic in their lunches was wrong - it was not something the kids had control over. By not talking to the parents first, but making the conditions something that relied on the parents, the teacher was being very passive-aggressive,

Rather, the teacher should have talked to the parents and said that, due to environmental issues, they would appreciate if the parents did not use one-use plastic items when packing their kids' lunches.

But what if the parents refused, for whatever reason? Is it then okay to exclude the child from the drawing because of the parents' choice? Absolutely not! If that were so, it would also be fine to pick on the kid with two moms or two dads - penalizing them for a perceived deficiency in their parents.

Tl/dr - The school shouldn't have done it and, if they tried, they shouldn't have done it that way.
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Whether we agree with using plastic sandwich bags or not, I think we would all agree that the teacher should have told the students ahead of time so they could all participate if they wanted.
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Now if they had only sealed the teacher inside a gigantic, tear-proof, indestructible plastic bag for 24 hours, THAT would prove a point!

Plastic kills.

Funny. I expected a story involving political ostracism of gradeschool children to originate in the People's Republic of California.

-But it's actually in Commie Canada.

Well, not far off I guess.

At least the Mom has her head screwed on straight and called them on their crap and for using her developing children as tools.
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The purpose of a teacher is to educate not indoctrinate.

I had a few teachers like this growing up and it's amazing when you think about it: there's a contract between teachers and parents to educate in both places, but if the teachers try to overstep their bounds, there's nothing stopping the parents from doing the same.
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The teacher needs to take it to the streets, the press and the government to try to make a real difference, not bully and traumatize kids to feel less guilty about his carbon footprint.

I suppose with our business leaders acting like Mr. Burns, it was only a matter of time before teachers starting acting like characters from King of the Hill.
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Punishing a child for the parent's politics is nuts.

Also, a tupperware container is also plastic -- much more of it -- and will also ultimately end up in a landfill. So the manufacturing and disposal cost may well equal out. But more importantly, the plastic container has to be washed every day, meaning increasing water use and power consumption.

It would not surprise me one bit if the tupperware container ends up being more environmentally costly if you consider all the factors. And even if it isn't, it's certainly not OBVIOUS what the right answer is.

So yeah, it boils down to politics, and punishing a child over their parents politics that they have no control over. Pretty unpleasant.
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@matt sager

yeah, the biggest problem with the green movement is that people think that the actions of consumers is the major issue

the amount of pollution produced by individual people is so insignificant compared to the environmental nightmare placated by industry

i mean shoot use paper bags if you want but saving one baby bunny is hardly a triumph when the factory down the road kills a million a day

sonic the hedgehog

don't forget to vote
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Buy the kid a really, really nice teddy bear and send it to school with him. Keep using the Ziplocs. And explain that there are cruel people that make kids sad to try change what adults are doing through emotional blackmail.
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There's nothing wrong with sharing environmentalist ideas* with students. Giving them complexes about it? That's all kinds of wrong.

*"you can _______" instead of "you MUST _______"
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Won't someone PLEASE think of the baby seals?

Excuse me. I need to go have my bowl of yogurt-covered lilypad flakes with organic sheep milk now.

Sincerely,

Golden Rainbow Soaring Unicorn Dove Woman
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