The Masai Warriors' Guide to Britain

A group of Masai warriors are going to be running the London Marathon this year, which could be enough to get a mention here, but it gets better. To avoid any potential culture clash problems (so funny in films, so unfunny if you happen to stick a spear in someone's pet goat, and rather lacking in humour in Crocodile Dundee 2) a charity has prepared a useful guide for them, which contains some handy tips we'd all be advised to bear in mind (especially the French):

  • "Even though some [Brits] may look like they have a frown on their face, they are very friendly people - many of them just work in offices, jobs they don't enjoy, and so they do not smile as much as they should."

  • "You cannot rely on the sun to tell the time accurately and will have to rely on clocks and watches. The sun will rise and set at different times."

  • "Whereas at home for you it is acceptable to spit, in England it is not but, if you have to, you must do so in a sink or in some trees when no one is looking."

  • "If you see something that someone else has, like a bracelet, and you like it, then the person will find it very unusual if you were to take it and wear it."

  • "if someone was to see a thief and chase after him and, when they catch him they hurt him, then the person who hurt the thief would go to prison as well as the thief."

  • "You may see these animals in a field, seemingly left alone. It is important to remember that these animals are owned by someone and are being looked after."

  • "You will see many people who are wearing only small clothes and you will wonder why they are cold and may think they are being disrespectful. This is normal for England, especially when it is sunny or in the evening. However, it is illegal to show certain parts of the body and for this reason it is important that you wear underpants if you are wearing your blankets."

  • "When people drink they [seem] sillier or different."

So, if you only spit in trees and remember to wear your underpants when out and about, everything should be tickety-boo.

Link - via XFM

Update: Thanks to Miss Cellania forĀ  pointing out there is a serious reason for their trip - they are being sponsored to run the marathon and hope to raise enough money to ensure a clean water supply in their village. Find out more, and donate, at Maasai

Newest 5
Newest 5 Comments

It's not the idea that the length of days are different in England and Kenya - it's how the concept was worded. Could have been stated a little more clearly.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
The bit about the sun rising and setting makes sense when you consider that the Maasai are from Kenya, which straddles the Equator. There day and night are of equal lengths, and stays that way year round.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
I'm not sure if you know of a UK documentary series called "meet the Natives" , where some guys from a remote island called Vanatu came to England and "met the natives".

It was quite an interesting few programs. It was unusual in tone too (for this sort of show), because all the participants were presented well. In addition the Vanatuvians (?) were quite shocked at how badly we live and our general state of well being.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Login to comment.

Email This Post to a Friend
"The Masai Warriors' Guide to Britain"

Separate multiple emails with a comma. Limit 5.


Success! Your email has been sent!

close window

This website uses cookies.

This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By using this website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

I agree
Learn More