What happens when you mashup Moby Dick and Apocalypse Now? You get a movie script by Perry Hall, available in its entirety in a .pdf.
MAN (GENERAL AHAB)
Blood and thunder! Mobys gone off the reservation-- he's swimming and fighting out there, General, answering to no one but himself. An albino daemon! He's collected his own army from the native rank and is running completely amok. He must be stopped!
ISHMAEL (VOICE OVER)
This overbearingly grim man, Ahab, was roughly of sixty years; bronzed, weathered like an ancient tree, his form suggested a man released from a burning stake just before its fire could fully engulf him. The mad glint in his eye began a tale; the barbaric white leg upon which he partly stood-- which had been fashioned from the polished bone from a sperm whale’s jaw-- completed it.
GENERAL BILDAD
Captain Ishmael, this be General Ahab. Ahab has... encountered Moby in the field, or should I say, upon the waters. He be an expert on our renegade Colonel.
We can assume that the part of Ishmael should be played by a young Martin Sheen, and it won't be the first time Marlon Brando has been likened to a white whale. Link -via Metafilter
Those of you who been around Neatorama for a while know that infrequent author Johnny Cat, our own Don Quixote, went to school to study windmills. He is now close to finishing his classes, and ready to do what you see in this time-lapse video.
One of the aspects of working in the wind industry that I am particularly looking forward to is the installation and commissioning of new turbines. It’s a process that involves precise planning, coordination and execution. Teams don’t have the luxury of putting up the 300? tube sections, and then breaking off until the next day, because the hollowness of the tube will capture the wind (these are built in windy areas, remember), and a vortex will form, tearing the structure apart! Nope, the entire tower needs to go up in four or more phases: bottom tube, top tube, nacelle, and hub- all in the least amount of time possible.
Famous faces in public places, but these aren't advertising bill boards. Web Urbanist rounded up pictures of street art that incorporates celebrities you know and maybe love. This image of Jack Nicholson was painted in Berlin a few years ago. Link -via Rue the Day
Andy Ellison posts animated images of food on his site Inside Insides. What you see here is an MRI of an onion. The bright spot that appears is actually a bruise! You can also see MRI scans of bell peppers, green beans, persimmons, and much more. Link -via Everlasting Blort
It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of crazy ideas in his Museum of Possibilities posts. What inspiration does this scene suggest to you? The commenters suggesting the funniest and wittiest names will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop. Let your imagination run wild, and good luck!
Update: We have winners! A t-shirt goes to Skribbler, who won first place with the entry "Soil-ent Whites". The second place name was "Grampers" from joe satari, who did not select a shirt.
by Lloyd Fricker, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Bronx, New York
This paper describes the cloning of the zucchini opiate receptor using an expression assay. We have undertaken this project for the following reasons:
1) Opiate receptors are important. 2) Cloning things is important. 3) Therefore, cloning the opiate receptor must be very important.
Our model system involves the zucchini, which avoids many of the ethical problems associated with using small defenseless animals for research, especially for studies involving pain. Vegetables are also cheaper than laboratory animals, and they taste better as well (1). We have previously demonstrated that zucchini contain functional receptors for opiates (2), so this was the vegetable of choice.
Materials and Methods
Zucchini were obtained from a local breeding facility and were transported back to the laboratory on ice. They were housed in the crisper section of the refrigerator until use. Mr. Potato Head was obtained from Toys-B-Us and assembled with the help of a 5 year old. All procedures were approved by the Institutional Squash Use Committee (ISUC). Results and Discussion
Figure 1. The effect of morphine and naloxone on the hot plate induced jumping reflex in a zucchini. A: the normal jumping reflex demonstrated when an adult female Burpee brand zucchini is placed on a scalding hot surface, such as a Therm-O-Swirl that had been left on for several days. B: Injection of 10 mg/kg of morphine into the tail stem of the zucchini eliminates the jumping reflex. C: Injection of 10 mg/kg naloxone (an opiate antagonist) into the morphine-treated zucchini restores the jumping reflex.
When zucchini were subjected to the standard hot-plate test, they showed a normal jumping reflex (Figure 1, Panel A). Much to the demise of the unfortunate vegetable, injection of 10 mg/kg of morphine into the tail stem of the zucchini caused a dramatic decrease in the perception of pain, as well as instilling a false sense of serenity to the vegged-out zucchini (Figure 1, Panel B). Injection of 10 mg/kg naloxone (an opiate antagonist) rudely awakened the blissful vegetable to the cruel reality of the situation, with full restoration of the jumping reflex (Figure 1, Panel C).
In a search for an organism that has a jumping reflex but which is not responsive to morphine, we tested a variety of fruits and vegetables. Some, like milk, did not show a jumping reflex at all, while others (bananas, popcorn) showed a robust morphine-sensitive jumping reflex. During this screening, we found that potatoes showed a jumping reflex that was not responsive to morphine (not shown). To facilitate the expression cloning, we tested the highly expressive Mr. Potato Head, which is evolutionarily related to the Idaho potato (3). As shown in Figure 2, Mr. Potato Head showed a jumping reflex when tossed onto the same scalding hot surface as used for the zoned out zucchini in Figure 1.
Figure 2. The effect of morphine and naloxone on the hot plate induced jumping reflex in Mr. Potato Head. A: The normal jumping reflex when an adult male Mr. Potato Head (obtained from Toys-B-Us). B: Injection of 10 mg/kg of morphine i.p. (intra-potato). C: Injection of 10 mg/kg of naloxone i.p. into the morphine-treated toy.
A hefty dose of morphine did nothing to alter the jumping reflex of Mr. Potato Head, nor did it appear to alter the expression of fear caused by the hot surface (Figure 2, Panel B). Injection of 10 mg/kg of naloxone also had no influence on the jumping reflex of Mr. Potato Head (Figure 2, Panel C).
Taken together, these results indicate that Mr. Potato Head does not contain functional opiate receptors.
Figure 3. Standard zucchini library (volumes 62-65).
To clone the zucchini opiate receptor, we first created a zucchini cDNA library from RNA (actually, zRNA) isolated from the neuroinfundibular lateral geniculate moosel structure of the zucchini, which has been previously shown by autoradiography to contain large amounts of opiate receptors (2). The library was then made by doing all the things that one does when one makes a library. A portion of the library is shown in Figure 3.
Figure 4. Zucchini/Mr. Potato Head expression library.
The zucchini library was then transfected into Mr. Potato Head using a modification of the calcium phosphate method (the modification used NaCl in place of calcium phosphate, and ketchup in place of the glycerol). The zucchini/Mr. Potato Head library shows partial phenotype of both parent organisms, and tastes great either raw or deep fried. A portion of the library is shown in Figure 4.
The zucchini/Mr. Potato Head library was screened using an expression assay. Specifically, the change in "expression" upon painful stimulus, and the ability of morphine to attenuate this change, was tested for each clone. One positive clone was identified which did not respond to an extremely painful stimulus in the presence of morphine (Figure 5).
Figure 5. Representative (actually, the only) clone from the zucchini/Mr. Potato Head library which does not show a change in expression when subjected to a painful stimulus under the influence of morphine.
To confirm the morphine-induced insensitivity to pain, the unfortunate clone was dosed with 10 mg/kg morphine and then subjected to the blistering hot surface of the Therm-O-Swirl. In the presence of morphine, the poor clone lost all signs of a jumping reflex and is shown moments before bursting into flames (Figure 6).
Figure 6. Hot-plate test with positive clone from zucchini/Mr. Potato Head library.
To eliminate the possibility that this clone has simply lost the jumping reflex, rather than gaining the opiate receptor, the clone was tested in the absence of morphine. Without the drug, the zucchini/Mr. Potato Head clone showed a normal jumping reflex on the hot plate test (Figure 7, Panel A). Note the expression of fear on the clone. With 10 mg/kg morphine coursing through its veins, the blissed-out clone lost all concept of fear of hot surfaces, and did not display any survival instincts to escape from the hot surface (Figure 7, Panel B). Injection of naloxone fully restored the jumping reflex, and the apparent feeling of pain to the clone (Figure 7, Panel C). This is one unhappy clone!
The cDNA from the zucchini/Mr. Potato Head clone was isolated and sequenced, but since the actual order of the nucleotides is of interest only to our competitors, we have not shown the sequence. Go clone it yourself if you really want to know. We're holding this confidential until we get it published in a good journal, like Cell, Science, or Better Homes and Gardens.
img class="size-full wp-image-41649" title="450zucchini7" src="http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/450zucchini7.jpg" alt="" width="450" height="256" />Figure 7. Panel A: This is a clone. Panel B: This is a clone on drugs (10 mg/kg morphine). Panel C: This is a clone on even more drugs (10 mg/kg naloxone, in addition to the morphine). Any questions?
Thanks to Lakshmi, Mike, Mark, Bruce, and Jim for helping arrange and photograph the zucchini late one night in the Herbert lab. This work was previously presented as a poster at a Society for Neuroscience meeting in 1986, and is also to be included in an upcoming book to be published by HMS Beagle.
Literature Cited
1. Actually, we made this up, and have not ever really tasted zucchini. 2. "Behavioral Effects of Opiates in Plants," L.D. Fricker, I. Patch-Lindberg, and G. Mendel, III, J. Ir. Res., July, 1986. 3. On the Origin of Toy Species: Evolution or Creation? Charles Darwin VII, Archaic Press, New York.
This article is republished with permission from the September-October 2001 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!
Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.
Mix reality TV and Japanese game shows and throw in the plot of The Truman Show, and you've got this unbelievable true story.
MADE IN JAPAN
In January 1998, a struggling 23-year-old standup comedian known only by his stage name Nasubi (Eggplant) heard about an audition for a mysterious "show-business related job" and decided to try out for it.
The audition was the strangest one he'd ever been to. he producers of the popular Japanese TV show called Susunu! Denpa Sho-Nen (Don't Go For It, Electric Boy!) were looking for someone who was willing to be locked away in a one-bedroom apartment for however long it took to win a million yen (then the equivalent of about $10,000) worth of prizes in magazine contests.
Cameras would be set up in the apartment, and if the contestant was able to win the prizes, the footage would be edited into a segment called "Sweepstakes Boy." The contestant would be invited on the show to tell his story, and, with any luck, the national TV exposure would give a boost to his career. That was it- that was the reward (along with the magazine prizes).
SUCH A DEAL
As if that wasn't a weak enough offer, there was a catch -the contestant would have to live off the prizes he won. The apartment would be completely empty, and the contestant wouldn't be allowed to bring anything with him -no clothes, no food, no nothing. If we wanted to wear clothes, he had to win those, too. Nasubi passed the audition and agreed to take the job.
On the day of the contest, the producers blindfolded him and took him to a tiny one-bedroom apartment in an undisclosed location somewhere in Tokyo. The apartment was furnished with a magazine rack and thousands of neatly stacked postcards (for entering the contests), as well as a table, a cushion to sit on, a telephone, notepads, and some pens. Other than that, it was completely empty.
Nasubi stripped naked and handed his clothes and other personal effects to the producers. He stepped into the apartment, the door was locked behind him, and his strange adventure began.
Today, for the first time in history, humans can see the entire sun.
In October 2006, NASA launched a pair of twin spacecraft into space. Called STEREO — Solar TErrestrial RElations Observatory — they traveled in opposite directions, one ahead and the other behind the Earth in its orbit around the Sun. The goal was to get a wide, stereoscopic view of the Sun which would provide 3D information on our star.
Today they reached that goal. After traveling a combined 470 million kilometers (290 million miles) relative to the Earth, they are now on opposite sides of the Earth’s orbit, staring down at opposing faces of the Sun.
The full coverage observation of the sun will last for eight years. Dr. Phil Plait has an explanation of how NASA did this, and why it is important, at Bad Astronomy. Link
If you're not a football fan, you might still find yourself watching the Super Bowl just for the new and very expensive advertisements the game is famous for. Take a look at years past and see some of the funniest and most memorable ads ever to grace the Super Bowl! Pictured is the EDS ad called "cat herding", which is included. Link
Let's all sing together- "99 bottles of wine on the wall.." Hey, what if ALL of those bottles should happen to fall? This video contains one mild expletive in the audio commentary, and so might be NSFW, but the audio is not necessary for the clip. -via Arbroath
There's a reason some sites ask for, or require, a password that contains both letters and numbers. The first column describes passwords. The other columns tell you how long it takes a hacker to figure them out. Don't make it easy for someone to figure yours out. Link
Jambe Davdar worked for four years on the ultimate Star Wars commentary fan film. Clips from the original trilogy and behind-the-scenes recordings are accompanied by explanations from those involved in the films, with text added when more information is available. Like the trilogy, these commentaries are divided into three parts: Star Wars Begins, Building Empire, and Returning to Jedi. Find links to all the YouTube segments at Metafilter. This could keep a Star Wars fan busy the rest of the winter. Link
Here in the US, we play a version of football that is so different, the rest of the world calls it American football. And in our peculiarly American way, we make a holiday out of the end of the football season. We call it Super Bowl Sunday. This tradition is now in its 45th year, which can make those of us who remember the hoopla surrounding the first Super Bowl feel really really old. Some like the game itself, some watch for the super-expensive advertisements, and some just like the parties. Why, as I write this, the "hot topic" at the Super Bowl site is whether nachos, popcorn, or buffalo wings are the best Super Bowl snack. While you're counting down the hours to the game, you can catch up on the exclusives you might have missed earlier this week at Neatorama.
Phil Haney warned us about the overuse of a Hollywood trope in The “All In Your Head” Movies.
Jill Harness had two features on animals this week. First, the heartbreaking stories of 7 Animals Humans Brought to Extinction. Then, to lift your spirits, 13 Animal Friendships Sure To Melt Your Heart.
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader gave us the origins of interesting flags from around the world in Fly the Flag, Boys!
From the Annals of Improbable Research, we learned about Alchemy’s Shower of Gold, which means exactly what it sounds like.
The What Is It? game on Thursday had a winner right off. Berhard said it was a nutcracker, and he’s right. Among many funny answers, the winner is The Professor, who claimed that due to budget cuts, this is the new Times Square New Year Ball Drop! Both win t-shirts from the NeatoShop.
In the Name That Weird Invention! contest, the first place winner is Golfyball for the name Bumpermarket. Second place goes to ladybuggs for the Grumpcart. Both win t-shirts from the NeatoShop!
Mal and Chad's Fill in the Bubble Frenzy returned on Wednesday. Darrel came up with the winning line this week: "Boy somebody needs a Tic Tac." That wins him a t-shirt from the NeatoShop!
You'll find exclusive Neatorama articles on a wide variety of subjects all in one place at The Best of Neatorama. Work the slider at the top of the page to bring up posts from 2006 to 2011. And when you've had your fill, check out neat links from all over at the NeatoHub!
Slate is doing a series of travel posts with our friends Joshua Foer and Dylan Thuras at Atlas Obscura. Part one of the hidden wonders of South America is about The World's Most Beautiful River. This video is from part two, A Death-Defying Commute. A 60-year-old cable spans a 1,200-foot-deep ravine between two mountains near the village of Guayabetal, Colombia. Dylan took a chance on riding the zipline.
"Your rope appears to be a little frayed," I pointed out, warily. But Mario, who has been going back and forth on the cable since he was 8 years old, said that he was so confident in his harness, he would happily take one of us across with him. I laughed at the idea. Dylan, in a momentary lapse of judgment, forgot that his fiancee and mother might someday read this and eagerly volunteered.
The couple of dozen cables used for traveling in the area were considered dangerous, but since the gorge is the border between two states, jurisdiction over the ziplines is complicated. Most of them were removed and only four cables remain. Read more about them at Slate. Link
This Sunday, the Packers battle the Steelers in the Super Bowl. You may be a fan of either, and you may know all there is to know about football, but how much do you really know about the two cities? Test your knowledge of Green Bay, Wisconsin and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in this Lunchtime Quiz at mental_floss. I scored 62% (8 out of 13). Anyone who does better can claim bragging rights right up until kickoff time! Link
