Name That Weird Invention!

It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of crazy ideas in his Museum of Possibilities posts. What inspiration does this scene suggest to you? The commenters suggesting the funniest and wittiest names will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop. Let your imagination run wild, and good luck!

Update: We have winners! A t-shirt goes to Skribbler, who won first place with the entry "Soil-ent Whites". The second place name was "Grampers" from joe satari, who did not select a shirt.

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When I read some comments I wonder if the product is as well known as I thought it was. In the Netherlands there are many commercials about 'Depend' adult diapers, or 'Depends', with mainly older women that laugh, sneeze, play with grandchildren without worries. Just like tampon commercials. Nothing weird about it, except maybe that as a man you almost wish you were a woman so you can also water-ski, climb mountains and be happy all day.
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