It's lunchtime at Ocean, Inc. and Seagull just wants to eat his lunch in peace and quiet. He's been dealing with whiny and angry customers all day. The boss has been on him all morning about missing TPS reports. Seagull's only relief is half an hour of quiet time when he can eat his fish.

Beluga is that guy at work. All day is playtime, especially lunchtime. Beluga is aggressively social. It's not that he can't take a hint, but simply won't.

All this clip by Jan-Olaf Johansen in Hammerfest, Norway needs is a laugh track.

-via Super Punch

The motion of the ocean can carry you only so far. In the deep blue sea, female narwhals are on the prowl for males with the biggest tusks. Zackary Graham, a researcher at Arizona State University, and his colleagues recently published their research on tusk size as a factor in sexual selection:

Like walruses and elephants, male narwhals (Monodon monoceros) grow tusks; these are modified teeth. In narwhals, the left tooth erupts from their head, reaching more than 8 feet long in some individuals. The tusk grows out in a spiral pattern, giving the appearance of a sea-dwelling unicorn. [...]

When comparing individuals of the same age, sexually selected traits often exhibit disproportional growth — that is, for a given body size, sexually selected traits are often larger than expected in the largest individuals. Importantly, they compared the growth (or scaling) of the tusk to the scaling relationship between body size and a trait that is unlikely to have sexual functions. To do so, they used the tail of the narwhals, called the fluke.

"We also predicted that if the narwhal tusk is sexually selected, we expect greater variation in tusk length compared to the variation in fluke width," Graham said. This is because many sexual traits are highly sensitive to nutrient and body condition, such that only the biggest and strongest individuals can afford the energy to produce extremely large traits.

-via Dave Barry | Photo: Narly the Narwhal t-shirt now on sale at the Neatoshop

Instagram user Etoni Mama is a master of kyaraben--the Japanese art of character-shaped foods. Her whole feed is fascinating, but I'm especially impressed by her creative use of eggs. Whether they're fried sunny side up, over easy, or boiled, her eggs look like memorable characters adding joy to your meal.

Would you like for a cat to barf all over your shoulders and chest? I bet you would if the barf had all of the colors of the rainbow!

On Ravelry, Amanda Julien offers this crochet pattern. Let the joy of your sick cat regurgitate itself on you when you need some flair.

-via TYWKIWDBI

Ante Brännbacka, who holds a 6th-degree black belt in an Okinawan style of karate, offers tips on how to defeat the coronavirus. Spear hand attacks, axe kicks, and even simple knee strikes ably deflect our infectious enemy.

Still a white belt? Don't worry--just bowing instead of shaking hands will help you.

Nicole McLaughlin offers you so many options that you may not have thought feasible. Honestly, I don't brush my teeth after lunch at work because it's not practical to carry around a toothbrush and toothpaste. But it would be practical if I could keep those necessary implements conveniently mounted on a shoe.

Lately, I've been planning a small professional conference for librarians and searching for a fun activity that everyone could enjoy. After all, there are only so many presentations on andragogical assessment scaffolding that people will want to attend. I need something spicier--like axe fighting!

The Warlord Combat Academy in Irving, Texas offers the realism of full-contact sparring with heavy, steel weapons. You get armor, too, which is helpful. Classes include the use of the longsword, the Hungarian saber, and the lightsaber.

-via Geekologie

Well, it looks like stained glass. It's actually an adhesive sticker that fits smoothly into the dimensions of an airplane window.

This is an invention by Danielle Baskin, the merry prankster who recently left signs for magical items up at her local Costco. She advises using these stickers to aid praying while airborne.

-via Super Punch

Would you like to stick you head out of the train as it passes through the station or tunnel? Swiss Rail designers would like to gently remind to remain inside the vehicle in a way that does not decapitate you, which would impair the tourism industry. Think of the broom in your face as being a prompt more subtle than a tunnel wall.

-via Super Punch | Photo: Elicia Donze

For five days, Italy has been under national lockdown. Most citizens must remain in their homes in order to prevent the spread of the coronavirus.

But that separation hasn't stopped their joyful hearts from sharing a sense of community in other ways. In many cities, people are stepping out onto their apartment balconies to sing together.

What song would you sing with your neighbors under these circumstances?

-via Rod Dreher

I say that because it may not be obvious that there is a human inside each of the four large, colorful objects in the photo.

The foundation concept is the puffer jacket. It's practical in cold weather and fashionable. So British fashion designer Craig Green, working with the design house Moncler, wondered how far the concept could be pushed. Dornob explains:

Green’s collaborations with Moncler, now in their sixth season, have always been heavy on superfluous flaps and straps, but the 2020 collection is more conceptual than ever. The designer took inspiration from samurai armor and vivid inflatables to create a series of outfits that make their wearers look a bit like enormous exotic insects. [...]

“I have always explored ideas of protection and functionality within my work, something that is also at the core of Moncler’s heritage. I thought it would be interesting for these ideas to be pushed further, interpreting Moncler’s performance-based history and developing designs with their years of technical knowledge and expertise,” says Green.

To artist Marianne Eriksen Scott-Hansen, making tissue paper flowers isn't just a craft, but "paper couture." As she sees it, she is weaving living flowers together from paper until the grow so large that they can fill rooms.

Scott-Hansen describes her creative process to My Modern Met:

Numerous little individual parts that make up a whole, from cell to organism,” she says, “micro to macro. Contrasts, symmetry, harmony. By my hand, the paper is returned to the organic material from which it originates. It is given the tactility and texture to resemble wood, plant parts, papyrus. I treat the paper firmly as it were rope, bark, branches. Or delicately like dried grass or porous petals.

That little plastic tripod that comes inside a box of pizza is called a "pizza saver". It helps protect your pizza from damage caused by a cave-in of the top of the box. It looks like a little table.

That's especially true if you produce a version that's several times larger than the original. The Drum tells us that the ad firm Ogilvy Hong Kong created this joint venture between Ikea and Pizza Hut.

I'd like to eat a pizza that uses this table as its saver.

-via Core77

Hannah P.'s baked loaves of bread look almost too good to eat! They're magnificent works of art that are carefully sculpted and painted with colorful foods prior to baking so that they turn into ornate carvings pleasing to both the eye and the mouth. For example, this rye bread is baked with red peppers and cheddar cheese and it's beautiful.

Need a wedding or anniversary present soon? Did you snag an invitation to your neighbor's 5-year old's birthday party? Then here's how you leave a lasting impression: get a Kreatworks sculpture. Etsy seller Kreatworks, who is based in Bangkok, makes enormous pop culture sculptures from scrap metal. This Hulk sculpture sells for a bit under $18,000. Shipping can be a bit expensive, so consider Technabob's advice:

Or maybe wait for it to turn back into Bruce Banner, and then have him shipped.