I'd be more impressed if the car turned into a girl (or a panda) when hit with cold water.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranma_½

Mocha Dick? Mocha? It sounds like a terrible theme-drink from Starbucks!

Even the evil superman Kahn Singh quotes from Moby Dick with his dying breath, as does Captain Picard, who was moved by a reference to his own White Whale in the Borg.

I thought he climbed up a hill and down a mountain, or something like that.

Glargh! Augh! I cannot believe how awful that plate of chicken feet looks!
(In the poultry industry, they are actually called "paws", which is somehow worse.)

Halfway across, the raccoon bites the alligator.
. . . uh, the fable actually doesn't work at all like this.

Isn't that big weight supposed to be painted black, with "1 Ton" painted on in white?

I once was called for a case involving computer evidence. I asked if I should take what I hear in court at face value, or apply my own knowledge and experience with computers to what I heard. They dropped me right away.

Barney Google . . . with the Goo-goo-googly eyes!

You forgot Alfred Einstein (cousin to the better-known Albert), the musicologist who revised the Kochel catalog of Mozart's music.

I thought it might be something like this:
https://vimeo.com/117375257

When he's done, he is almost totally dry! The water rolls off him like . . . oh, yeah.