What a ghetto. Look at all of the thieves that come to the carport.

Huh. I read about these in a book, but never knew what they really sounded like.

I've been on the USS Lexington several times. It's interesting, but not haunted. Or creepy, whatever that means.

My 2016 plan for world domination:
1) Finish the time machine;
2) Visit Taco Bell before using time machine;
3) Blow away the competition and receive huge tracts of land;
4) Come back to 2016 and sell the lands for big profits.

Now is ready for Moose and Squirrel.

I'd be afraid to go pee.

I'll give you five bucks for it.

I remember that milk-the-cow toy when I was a kid. My cousins had it. It sucked. So did my aunt and uncle for buying it for my cousins.

Modern Chinese Christmas cards tend to include cartoons of babies shooting each other with automatic rifles and grenades. I don't get it either.

They aren't awkward; they're Dutch. Hey! Is that Steve Buscemi in the orange scarf?

Yikes. Guess 'affordable' doesn't mean what I thought it means.