Can't imagine seven years' worth of dags on the unsheared sheep.

When he opens the microwave door at the end, you know the hot stench of tuna juice plus hot mayonnaise filled the kitchen, like a cat's burp.

If you stay up too late watching movies, of course you're going to do some snacking!

We Texans don't claim him. The Okies can have him.

I eat twice: brunch and supper. That's enough.Unlike most Americans, I am able to go for more than 3 hours without eating.

A big difference is that they called it the Spanish Flu, because that's where the pandemic started. But people nowadays get their feelings hurt if you call it the Chinese Flu, after where the pandemic started. Progress!

What I learned today: "You don't need a medical degree to diagnose diarrhea".

Yeah, why did they start with part two?

Never heard of this guy before today and now I've watched 5 of his videos. He's nuts!

They should have taken ice cream on the Antarctic treks. High-calorie, doesn't go bad, and tastes better than that British snot-in-a-tin.

I once got an ice cube stuck up my nostril; I was trying to snort Coke.

I noticed a lack of Shepherd Book. Lost interest.

I'm looking at the pieces in the waffle iron vs. the pips in the iron's lid. Are those holes that look like pips? Is this an optical illusion?

Reubens and Big Macs: sometimes and definitely. But who has ever put Thousand Island on a taco?!?