Wow. Who could have foreseen that happening? I love these cause-and-effect articles!

Those dogs can even drive trucks? That's smart!

I was also reading at 2. Now I'm also unemployed. But at least I don't look 20 years older than my age.

A 20-year-old going to the prom? Is anyone surprised at his career choices?

Wretched creature. Wonder if he is able to blink.

You're no longer a kid when you're old enough to go out in public without your parents.

I mean, it's as bad as like, listening to any NPR interview, ya know? I mean, those, like, people they find to talk to, they like talk like they never formed, like, a sentence before today, ya know?

When did the, ya know, period at the end of each sentence become a verbal sound, ya know?

I once saw my girlfriend's stolen bike locked outside a restaurant. I grabbed it, walked it home, cut off the new lock, and returned it to my girlfriend.

They were only doing 5 mph. What's the problem?

Wonder if it will be coal-powered, like the original was.

Driving in traffic at 79 MPH while using one hand to hold a camera and take a photo. How is HUD safer?

Precision tennis racquet.

(Bad Chewie)

Bet he ain't got a girlfriend.

God's machine that makes mushrooms. (See? He just finished using it.)

- Bad Chewie

Nothing. I'd rather swim, fish, or boat there than sit on my bum watching a screen.