no. 571 - @savvystrider
Women are like Wi-Fi. They're everywhere and no one will tell me the password -Â @savvystrider
no. 570 - @jscottwilson
~Illustration by:Â Carnilius R~
Time flies. Those pesky little pests that follow you back and forth in your time machine. @jscottwilsonno. 569 - @DumbNOTDeaf / @Kyle_Lippert
~Illustrated by:Â Chris Pittas~
no. 568 - @letsgetgizzy
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 567 - @BlazedDonuts
  ~Illustration by: 
no. 566 - @jwalkonthemoon
It's time for someone to build a human version of a bug zapper. Set it up directly in the middle of a mall food court. Then watch and wait. -Â Â @jwalkonthemoon no. 565 - @primawesome
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 564 - @MorganJ7
  ~Illustration by: Matt Lassen~
no. 563 - @eTHEgoddess
I need to work on my "please don't talk to me" face. Apparently, it's shockingly similar to my "tell me every random thought you have" face @eTHEgoddess no. 562 - @ecorno2
~Illustrated by: Dennis Culver~
no. 561 - @WritingWilkie
~Illustrated by: Chris Pittas~
If I had to define my style, I'd probably go with "Disney World Dad" @WritingWilkieno. 560 - @Glorificus917
  ~Illustration by: Matt Lassen~
Instead of bottling up my emotions, I put them in little ziploc bags. They stay much fresher that way. -Â Glorificus917no. 559 - @Josh_in_therapy
~Illustration by:Â Pete Hillstrom~
Drowning is probably the most embarrassing way for a fish to die. -Â @Josh_in_therapy
no. 558 - @IGotsSmarts
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
I refuse to use a GPS system until it can tell me how to get to Sesame Street.  @IGotsSmartsno. 557 - @DadNeedsADrink
Hey, Dora. How about we ease up on the Spanish lessons and teach my son how to wipe his own ass? @DadNeedsADrink 
