Books Where the Dog Dies, Rewritten So the Dog Doesn’t Die

There are quite a few literary classics in which the characters must deal with the death of a beloved dog. It's heart wrenching, but sometimes it's there to make a point, and sometimes it is the entire reason for the story. But we don't need "reasons" for a dog to die, or "reasons" to come up with a way that the dog doesn't die. Riane Konc did just that, reworking well-known canine death scenes to make them less sad, and sometimes completely hilarious. Take The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck:

A big swift car squealed its tires and jerked his wheel, the car nearly tipping up on two tires as the vehicle narrowly missed the family pet.

“Dammit, but I won’t be a symbol for the suffocatin’ and murd’rous weight of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream on the day laborer and migrant worker by killin’ your pup with my sportscar!” the driver screamed out his window, giving the whole Joad family the finger.

And he wouldn’t. Everythin’ else — ev’ry death an’ loss an’ unjustice an’ tragedy an’ animal for the next 400 pages or so would basically drive that point home — but at least the whole time, through everything, the Joads had their beloved dog. He wasn’t very good symbolism, but he was a very good boy.

Read about the survival of good dogs from Old Yeller, Marley & Me, Where the Red Fern Grows, The Odyssey, and even Cujo at Electric Literature. -via Metafilter

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Three Russian guys admire another guy's car at a gas station. One offers to buy it, but the car's owner refuses. Dejected, they go to the Red Circle and drink champagne in the spa until they forget all about it. Eighty-four people and one dog live happily ever after.
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