Like all morally decent and physically attractive people, I enjoy pineapple on pizza. Ideally, genetic engineering will make this Maximumble cartoon a reality. Better yet, it may permit me to make a pizza with a single pineapple slice a the crust. After adding tomato sauce and cheese, let this optimal pizza be topped with an additional slice of pineapple.
I feel sorry for the ones who have abnormally, tragically mutated tastebuds and think that warm, mushy pineapple is an excellent compliment to pepperoni and tomato sauce. The juice of the pineapple itself takes over, muting and mutilating the otherwise deliciousness of the pizza, the worlds most perfect food. Never let these people pick restaurants, meals, recipes... basically any decision that has to do with food. You just never know what abstract concoction they'll think is reasonable. While they're going "mmmm, isn't this delicious?" you're wondering how you can fake an illness out of the blue, or how you can sneakily dispose of what's on your plate. Where is that hungry dog that is otherwise always staring up at me from under the table while I'm eating? Even it has run away from such a culinary disaster, that it's pretending it needs another nap.
Standalone pineapple as a snack on a beautiful summers day however, is absolute perfection.