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Guy Writes A Hilarious Breakup Letter To His Gym

It's nearly March and nearly spring, so that means it's time for the undedicated New Year's Resolutioners to give up their newfound active lifestyle and stop going to the gym.

Some will lie about it to their friends and loved ones, others will brag about how they stopped giving a crap again, but only Redditor MastrrBasser had the decency to write a breakup letter to his gym when he quit going.

It seems Planet Fitness wouldn't let MastrrBasser cancel his membership over the phone even though he'd moved away and wasn't looking for a long distance relationship, so he wrote them a letter to make their breakup official:

Planet Fitness wouldn't let me cancel over the phone, and required a certified letter to cancel since I live in a different state now. I dropped this in the mail today. from r/funny

The letter starts off like any good breakup letter should:

‘It is with deep regret, and a heavy heart that I write this letter, but I must come forth with my intentions with sincerity and honesty.

‘Certain events in my life have put me in a different place, and while it was one of the more taxing decisions I’ve had to make of late, it is the right one.

‘The purpose of this letter is to end my relationship with Planet Fitness.’

Then it becomes ever more ridiculous as MastrrBasser reveals how Planet Fitness will always be a piece of his heart:

‘I still think fondly of you, and the time we spent together as I drive by one of your many locations. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I even throw one of my old ‘power-pop workout’ playlists and feel the rush of our past course through me as if we were still one; holding hands with your elliptical machine, and gingerly brushing my sweaty bangs out of my face as I huff and puff in a tumultuous vortex of sweat and endorphins.’

-Via Metro


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