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It's a New Year, So It's Time to Join a Gym

(Twisted Doodles)

We've had Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve in rapid succession. You've been partaking of the fruits of your labor and enjoying the festivities with loved ones--at least until January 1. Then you immedately become a disgusting pig who should get some of that blubber off.

(Fowl Language Comics/Brian Gordon)

You want to join a gym? Good idea! Go ahead and visit a commercial gym. Pay your membership fee. Workout once. Then repeat this process next January.


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That's how I win at pingpong. I'm not very good at spinning the ball and my reflexes are slow. But I have good aim, so when it's my turn to serve, I try to hit the opponent in the eye, to take out his depth-perception. Then I can quickly win the game. Either eye will do.
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My town only has one health club (I've only been there for parties). Many, many people signed up at the beginning, and it turned out they mainly went to use the pool. The club solved that problem, as far as I can tell, by not cleaning the pool.
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The best shape I was ever in as an adult was when my ex-husband signed up for a gym membership to play racquetball, then quit going when he got hit in the eye. We couldn't get out of the two-year contract, so I started going myself. I swam and lifted weights, then joined a step aerobics class three times a week. I don't like wasting money.
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