"For months I was utterly miserable. I was going to therapy three times a week and actually listed 'crying' as one of my hobbies on Tinder. After realizing nobody was going to solve my problems for me, I went to the zoo and paid $80 to take a picture with a penguin wearing a tiny sweater. I posted it on Instagram and it got 123 likes! 123!! I suddenly felt like my life had been filled with a purifying, healing light. I was able to completely stop going to therapy, and last weekend my ex even texted me 'Mouth?' at 3 AM. I think things are finally starting to turn around. Thank you so much, Instagram."
Elite Daily created a Facebook page called "Millenials of New York" that is an entertaining satire of the popular "Humans of New York." Instead of hearing about the plights and passions of the diverse New York City population, we are treated to millenial tales of woe about rancid artisanal kumquat compote and beards that won't grow past the stubble stage. MONY's stories, like HONY's, will hit you right smack in the feels and could even prompt you to purchase a pair of oversized, fully ironic eyewear.
"I’m a feminist, okay? And I don’t care who knows it. I believe that women are JUST as capable as men, and deserve the right to equal pay. Guys who wouldn’t vote for someone based on their gender offend me to my core. It’s ridiculous, in this day and age, to have a problem with a woman in a position of power. Personally, I would be overjoyed with a female president if she’s not fat."
"It's literally impossible to take advantage of the city when everything is as expensive as it is. Isn't DeBlasio supposed to be doing something about these ridiculous rent prices? It feels like by the time I'm done paying for other basic necessities—groceries, electric, Internet, MetroCard, Sunday brunches, margarita machine maintenance, feather headdress-making lessons, Saturday brunches, an officially licensed SoulCycle machine for my apartment so I don't have to worry about classes filling up—there's really nothing left for me to have any fun with. I don't want to ask my parents to up my allowance but I don't know if I have a choice anymore."