You want to be an artist. But there's a problem: you have no technical skill for it.
Don't worry! You can become a conceptual or performance artist. Then all you need is a slight variation on an idea that several other artists have already done. Take photos of yourself (which is where everyone should direct their attention at all times) and post them on your website.
That website should be not only be poorly designed, but poorly designed in an original way that makes navigation frustrating. Preferably, your website should have little information about you or your project and contain no permalinks. Any text on your site should exist as static images. Disable right-clicking on all images to prevent them from being easily saved as image files.
Finally, send a cryptic email to a blogger on a popular website, such as Neatorama, apparently requesting a post about your project. Make sure that the email does not use conventional spelling, punctuation, capitalization, or grammar. Professional bloggers hate that.
Step 3: profit.
The blogger will respond by microwaving a burrito, which is his own attempt at art.