Pulling down a tree with a truck is not a recommended tactic. You might save some money by not hiring a professional, but getting flattened, no matter how small the chance, can be a devastating consequence. -via Arbroath
It's back to school time once again, and that means school is on everyone's mind whether they graduated in 1960 or they'll be starting school in 2016.
Whether you're still heading down the road towards a college degree or you're a graduate who know studies at the school of hard knocks there's sure to be something you'll want to wear in the NeatoShop, where you'll find thousands of smart looking and totally geeky designs!
Two years ago, the Pretenders' Ball had been the scene of an assassination. Last year, an arsonist destroyed the royal archives. These political crimes, carried out by the rebel forces, were becoming a regular part of the Grand Duchy's annual costume ball. The chief of police pleaded with the prime minister to cancel this year's event. Naturally, he didn't. For added security, though, he did change the location to Duchy Park, a floral wonderland surrounded by a high, unscalable stone wall.
Upon entry, Robin Hood's arrows were confiscated, although he was allowed to keep his bow and quiver. David had to give up his slingshot and Goliath handed over his club. Mary Poppins kept her umbrella, but Death turned in his scythe. Even the clown was searched. One guard held onto his big bunch of balloons while another checked inside his oversized shoes.
The festive nighttime ball went on as scheduled. The music played, the costumed revelers danced, and champagne corks popped. Something else popped, too—a small derringer pistol.
The victim this time was the Grand Duchy's chief of police, dressed as a Chicago gangster, the only guest actually allowed to carry a weapon. His body was found in the middle of a hedge maze, the gun in his shoulder holster untouched.
"Shot in the back," Death (the royal physician) reported. "Very small caliber. Anyone could have sneaked in a gun that size."
In what was becoming another annual tradition, the guests lined up to be frisked.
The Doctor has lived many lifetimes so his adventures have happened over and over again, which tends to mess with all that timey wimey stuff floating around out there keeping the universe, and its timeline, intact. And what happens when the Doctor and his companion, who is blissfully unaware of what their travels are doing to the universe, continue to go on grand adventures across the galaxy? The timey wimey stuff becomes like taffy, bending and warping to create pockets and niches where the truth of his existence hides...
Add some out of this world adventure to your geeky wardrobe with this The Timey Wimey Machine t-shirt by Twenty27 Designs, and watch your fellow fans light up like a sonic screwdriver!
Carelessness. Greed leading to betrayal, overspending and criminal activity. Fraud. Lying to the wrong people. These lottery winners once had it made, but eventually made mistakes so destructive they lost everything. Want to feel a bit better about your worst life decisions? Try this Alltime10s video on for size. Via Tastefully Offensive
Catching a kid right before they crack their head open, snatching the child away from an oncoming danger, and pulling off various sports related saves- these are but some of the powers that dads have at their disposal.
And this action packed (albeit strangely formatted) video by Zoo Weekly proves dads are some of the most powerful beings on the planet!
The longest high-five chain in the world, and a few other interesting “longest” things. (Note: This is a pretty long article. So you might have to take your device into the bathroom for a break to read the entire thing.)
LONGEST CAT FUR
In August 2013, Guinness World Records awarded its first-ever “cat with the longest fur” title. Recipient: Colonel Meow, a Himalayan Persian kitty belonging to Anne Marie Avey of Los Angeles, California. Fur length: nine inches. (The length was verified by three different veterinarians.) “We already knew that he was the best cat in the world,” a proud Ms. Avey said, “but to be recognized in the Guinness World Records book takes it to the next level.”
Bonus fact: The best part of the story is that Colonel Meow was a rescue kitty. He was in a shelter in Seattle, Washington— and scheduled to be euthanized— when he was rescued by a Seattle group dedicated to rescuing Himalayan Persian cats. They put him up for adoption online… and the rest is cat-fur history.
Joe Atherton of Nottinghamshire, England, grows carrots in plastic tubes more than 20 feet long, each one filled with nutrient-rich compost and positioned so they lie at an angle of about 45 degrees to ensure proper drainage. In September 2007, Atherton carefully extracted one of those tube-grown carrots, being careful not to break its long, fragile root. That particular carrot had been growing for 14 months: Atherton had extended its growing season beyond the usual two or three months by regularly nipping off any seed buds that appeared on it, thereby preventing it from going to seed. Result: the carrot was 19 feet, 1.875 inches long. It’s the current record holder for “longest carrot in the world.”
The Dumbo Octopus (Grimpoteuthis) is unavoidably cute! He can dance and stick out his tongue, so he's a natural performer. But that's only once he's ready. When caught unawares, the Dumbo gets shy. The oceanographers on board the exploratory vessel Nautilis discovered that while exploring the coast of central California. At the 1:34 mark in the video below, he covers his face when the camera zooms in on him.
Artist Jon Burgerman has been featured at Neatorama multiple times over the years for his witty work that often explores how art can be designed to interact with life in amusing and interesting ways. Such techniques can be found in a grouping of Burgerman's recent work that he calls "Jon's Famous Friends."
The series, some of which is shown here, features his form interacting with those of celebrities. The artist said in an interview that the pieces not only are a lighthearted way to reflect upon society's obsession with celebrities, but it's also a commentary on the public's desire to present themselves in the best possible light. He says,
“I want to explore how we create public narratives for ourselves, and taking it to an extreme, absurdist level. I’m cranking up the FOMO, envy and anxiety.
I’m also trying to show that in most cases these things are actually pretty mundane. So I’m ‘hanging out’ with celebrities, but we’re not doing anything that fascinating (apart from shooting up with Obama of course). Celebrities’ Instagram feeds are often littered with multiple selfies and photos of their cats. They’re just as dull as us normal people!”
When your world revolves around school, the real bad guy of the drama is the bully. And so it was with ‘80s teen movies, and there were a lot of ‘80s teen movies. Not all bullies fit the exact formula, but there were many similarities that a majority shared. Uproxx took the most common tropes used in teen movies from the ‘80s and crunched them into the ultimate stereotyped movie bully. I think you will agree with their conclusions. Now if we can get them to do the same with the jock, the cheerleader, the outsider, the nerd …well, we know who the nerd would be.
Gemma Correll zeroes in on some of the less come-hither glows of summer with her latest comic. Not every tan is a good tan, nor is it necessarily a natural happenstance. While out people watching during summer, one is often prompted to wonder about certain confusing complexions: were they caused by a sun kiss or kick? Is that real or faux/foe color? A little color can go a long way. Even an even porcelain complexion is better than mottled orange. See three more less popular fake tan shades as illustrated by Gemma Correll here.
Star-Lord was too old and too far from Earth to have a video game made about him, but the young man who was taken on the intergalactic adventure of a lifetime would have done anything to star in his own game. And if anyone had known about the Guardians before that documentary exposed their secret existence to the world their adventures would have made for a marvel-ous game franchise. Sadly, the Guardians never got to star in their own console cartridge, and now they're all too busy battling the mad titan to play video games....
Share your dream of console games that could have been with this Retro Guardians t-shirt by Kinda Creative, and imagine the awesomeness!
Writer and director Wes Craven was responsible for Freddy Krueger’s invasion of your nightmares in the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, which includes nine feature films and a TV series, plus books, comics, and video games.
From his feature film debut, The Last House on the Left in 1972 to the four Scream movies, he was a master of the modern horror genre. Craven’s IMDb entry has a list of 36 writing credits, 27 producing credits, 29 directing credits, and 19 acting credits.
Exactly what it says on the tin. Donald Trump talks about China a lot- enough to make it sound downright funny. This supercut from HuffPo may prove to be an earworm. My apologies in advance. -via Viral Viral Videos
There are many places on earth that are technically vacation destinations, but more fantasies made into reality. Exotic treehouse resorts often fall into the later category and if you aren't so sure about that, then this incredible list of treehouse hotels on Flavorwire will almost certainly prove my point.
Whether you dream of sleeping outdoors in tropical rainforests or in scifi-like spaces surrounded by pines, you'll certainly see somewhere you'd long to stay in this fantastic article.
Elijah Wood was in Back to the Future II. Denzel Washington was an uncredited criminal in Death Wish. Samuel L. Jackson was in Goodfellas. You may not have noticed them because they weren't famous yet. Screen Junkies brings us up to speed with this compilation of actors just getting started in film, often taking very minor roles.
One role that didn't make the cut is Liam Neeson in the underappreciated 1983 fantasy movie Krull. Neeson plays Kegan, a criminal who joins King Colwyn's quest to defeat the Slayers and liberate his planet.
Your cat would love to have a toy like this, with which he can use his agility and wits to bat a ball around inside a simple maze until he can get it out. You can make this yourself from a cardboard box with a knife, glue, and a ball. The “maze” part is just one cardboard strut inside that adds strength and makes the game more challenging for the cat. The tutorial is at meeoow.com. If your cat is like mine and would just pull the ball up with his claws, then you can easily replace it with a more slippery ball with no holes. I can think of other ways you can customize this to make it more difficult or more interesting, depending on what amuses your cat.
"Flying spider" is a bit of a misnomer, however. Selenops spiders, sometimes referred to as “flatties,” essentially coast on air, steering themselves using their flat bodies, gliding so gracefully as to appear in flight. The spider can also maneuver its body in many ways mid-glide, even turning itself right-side up or vice versa. As if that information isn't alarming enough for people firmly rooted in the anti-spider camp, Selenops is one of the fastest-moving creatures on Earth.
Acclaimed neurologist, author, and philosopher Oliver Sacks revealed earlier this year that he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The New York Times has announced his death this morning. Sacks wrote about neurological research in a way that the layman could not only understand, but that would spark deep thought into the meaning of mind and consciousness. He wrote about patients who displayed unusual abilities and disabilities of the brain, as in the book The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and neurological research, such as his discovery of the effects of L-dopa on the brains of catatonic patients in Awakenings, which was made into the 1990 film starring Robin Williams as Sacks.
His intellectual curiosity took him even further. On his website, Dr. Sacks maintained a partial list of topics he had written about. It included aging, amnesia, color, deafness, dreams, ferns, Freud, hallucinations, neural Darwinism, phantom limbs, photography, pre-Columbian history, swimming and twins.
“I am very tenacious, for better or worse,” he wrote in “A Leg to Stand On.” “If my attention is engaged, I cannot disengage it. This may be a great strength, or weakness. It makes me an investigator. It makes me an obsessional.”
The Times has more on Sacks' extraordinary life and work. Sacks died of cancer Sunday morning at his home in New York. He was 82.
Is your personal Nutella supply slowly decreasing without an explanation? You might have a thief in your midst. Take precautions with this lock designed specifically for sealing away jars of Nutella. Daniel Schlobloch, a German furniture designer, says that he developed it as a joke. But I don't see anything funny in taking my Nutella, Jill. Neither do other people, who have so far ordered 279 of them.
Mario had always defeated Bowser in the big boss battle then walked away, never bothering to find out if Bowser was still alive and ready to fight another day. Unbeknownst to anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom big bad Bowser had died, but some dark magical force brought him back to life with a ravenous appetite for Peach and moustachioed Italian plumber! There woud be no jumping on zombie Bowser's head, nor could you simply shoot him with fire and hope to knock him out, for this time death would not stop him from having his revenge...
Bring a nightmarish boss battle moment to your geeky wardrobe with this Zombie Bowser t-shirt by Aaron Morales, it's super looking and sure to be admired by all your fellow gamer bros!
For the 33rd year in a row, the English Department at San Jose State University has rewarded aspiring or otherwise writers for the worst opening line in a (non-existent) novel. The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is named for Victorian novelist Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton who once began a book with the phrase “It was a dark and stormy night…” and cemented those words as a writing cliche. Congratulations to Dr. Joel Phillips of West Trenton, New Jersey, who won the top honor with this gem:
Seeing how the victim's body, or what remained of it, was wedged between the grill of the Peterbilt 389 and the bumper of the 2008 Cadillac Escalade EXT, officer "Dirk" Dirksen wondered why reporters always used the phrase "sandwiched" to describe such a scene since there was nothing appetizing about it, but still, he thought, they might have a point because some of this would probably end up on the front of his shirt.
There were also runners-up recognized and winners in various categories such as horror, fantasy, romance, and children’s literature. Many “dishonorable mentions” are included on the winners’ page as well. A special categories recognizes “vile puns,” won by John Holmes of St. Petersburg, Florida.
Locals know it as Pinocchio Rock, because it's shaped like a proboscis, and lies at the edge of the cliff.
And more than one from the winner’s page paid tribute to Bulwer-Lytton’s famous line, like this dishonorable mention in the “Purple Prose” category:
The night was dark; which is a bit redundant, since night is by definition dark, unless it's a stormy night when lightning causes moments of brilliant light, or except in places like Norway or Alaska where summer nights can be pretty light, but still, most of the time when you say “night,” people are going to think “dark.” — Joseph E. Fountain, Fredericksburg, VA
The trailers forthe upcomingStar Wars movie The Force Awakens have a unique style noted for varied pacing and dramatic narration. They inspired Dan Flesher to edit scenes from The Empire Strikes Back into a new trailer. They make that movie look fresh, even at 35 years old. Compare it to this original trailer for Episode V.
In the Jim Crow era of the 20th century, landowners would not sell beachfront property on the Gulf coast to black investors or even families. Blacks were restricted from visiting any beach- except one. In 1923, Bishop Robert E. Jones of the Methodist Church established Gulfside Chatauqua and Camp Meeting Ground, later named Gulfside Assembly, on 316 acres on the coast near Waveland, Mississippi. It was a haven for local blacks and vacationing families from all over. Summer camps, church retreats, and seminars were held there for decades. The land was, in a stroke of cosmic karma, from the estate of President Andrew Jackson that came onto the market in 1922.
Luckily for Jones, however, his light skin and his position as a Methodist bishop took the question of race off the table. When he bought the property from John DeBlieux, a wealthy lumber mill owner who had once used the property as his family’s summer home, nobody thought to question whether he was black. Jones also secured the rights to a long-term lease of an adjacent 316-acre property from the state, but he ultimately didn’t develop the property, and it is now the site of the present-day Buccaneer State Park.
Yet the relative ease with which he secured the land for Gulfside didn’t mean that Jones was freed from having to make difficult — and controversial — compromises with the local white community as he began to develop it. “In order for them to remain viable … they had to accommodate white supremacy,” explains Andrew Kahrl, a University of Virginia history professor who wrote The Land Was Ours, a history of black beaches in America. That meant tightly controlling the movements of people visiting Gulfside by forbidding them from leaving the grounds; ensuring that people at the retreat, many of whom came from the North, obeyed the “racial etiquette” of the Deep South; and avoiding any provocation of Waveland’s white population. Alcohol and popular music were forbidden, as was sex, and activities were kept innocuous: Adolescents were taught to swim during the summers, and outdoor Bible study classes for families were held.
Gulfside was a respite and a place to socialize for victims of Jim Crow, and later became a meeting place for civil rights activists. The popularity of Gulfside suffered when blacks were finally able to enjoy beaches alongside whites, so the focus of the resort shifted to community development and elder care. Plans were made to open a retirement community at Gulfside, and a huge hotel was built to cater to the nearby state park and bring in some income. But mere days after the grand opening celebration, hurricane Katrina struck. Then the recession hit. Then there was the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Yet there are those who recall Gulfside’s heyday and are committed to saving the resort for future generations. Read the story of Gulfside Assembly's unique history at Buzzfeed.