There were many Great Old Ones, but none is more famous than that squid-faced glutton Cthulhu! His mortal minion H.P. Lovecraft helped spread tales of his awesomeness and overwhelming physical beauty, thus Cthulhu rose to the top of the fictional god food chain.
It all started with tales thought to have been told by a man named Howard Phillips Lovecraft
Howard used his human hands to write down stories about great old ones who dwelt in the center of the Earth
These strange creatures were said to have come from the cosmos to subjugate humanity, and the people who help them achieve their nefarious goals lived all around us
Howard didn't make these stories up at all- he was more like a reporter describing what only he was able to see
Nobody can say for certain, but his dark visions forever changed the face of pulp fiction
And a new pantheon of gruesome gods were born who bridged the genres of horror, sci-fi and fantasy
They say to look upon the face of Cthulhu is to discover humanity's irrelevance in the grand scheme of things
As our fragile human minds try to make sense of it all we are transfixed by the unearthly beauty of that horrible being
He's a giant beastie with a squid for a face, but he can also be mighty appealing
And when he uses his godlike powers to charm humans they are powerless to resist
If, however, he encounters a particularly stubborn human he assumes this form
Even the Great Old Ones know about the indomitable power of cute...but their cuteness is a work in progress...
When the power of cute fails to persuade the pesky humans Cthulhu relies on his great strength
He is, after all, a being of great destructive power
Although it is easy to forget that when you know nothing of that Great Old One save what you read in books
He's not someone whose image humans should be plastering everywhere, like some breakfast cereal mascot
He's one of the ultimate sources of evil in the universe
And once he's been allowed into our world it will be virtually impossible to exterminate him
He'll start popping up out of nowhere
And he'll force us to worship him and him alone, hijacking the holidays from all those good gods
He'll force us to take him with us wherever we go
And if we try to ditch him he'll be lurking in the shadows, ready to strike
And when he finds us he'll be all to happy to warn us about what happens if we disobey him
At times it will seem like his slimy tendrils are everywhere
And his servants lord over us at every turn
But that's what ya get when you mess around with forces beyond human comprehension!
You might as well take Cthulhu's side, worshipping him as he demands
And if you find yourself in the mountains of madness get lost and stay lost, for it's better to be lost to madness than battle a risen god
And only a foolish human would dare oppose the mighty Cthulhu!
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