The Most Common Causes of Death in All 50 States (That They Don't Want You To Know About)

Heart disease? Cancer? Car accidents? No, these are not the events that kill large numbers of people. That's just what the news media/lizard overlords/Girl Scouts want you to think. Researcher Moe Lane reveals what's really going on.

Lane was limited by space on the map, so I would like to clarify what he's said about Montana. Bigamy is the most common form of death, but only in a literal sense of the term. You can have one spouse. You can have three spouses. But you can't safely have two.

-via Tor

P.S. If you ever meet Miss Cellania in person, you'll notice that she's missing the pinkie and ring fingers on her right hand. That's from a ferret attack. But don't comment about it unless you know her well. She's sensitive about it.

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Being a resident of Southern California, I would like to clarify that Disneyland is not in-and-of itself the major cause of death. It is radioactive fallout from the nightly fireworks.
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