When Johnny Virgil was installing an attic fan at his wife's grandfather's house, he ran into a JC Penney catalog from 1977.
Obviously, the right thing to do was to scan the pages and share it with the world:
And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out there are words after all, and those words are What. The. Fuck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. I think the little tie must be the pull tab. If you look really closely, it says, "In case of chest hair emergency, pull tab quickly and back away."