Unworkable Devices.

It's a winding machine for making conical springs.

Vandelay Industries, size large.

It's a 'Wreath-Rotor', used to make wreathes quickly during the peak demand season.

Come to the dark side - Black L

It's an apple corer.

it's an apple corer

Remember Half the People You Know are Below Average - size L

Altar boy gauge.

Slinky Extraction Unit. All hospitals used to have these.

Wall-mounted dreidel for idiots.

Auger snail homebuilding kit.

Medieval German "lazy eye" correction device. The instruction manual reads: "Forsooth, that ye shalt correcteth ye droopsy aye that shews most lazyly the Devyl's idle nature, for merely three paiements of nineteen guilders 'pon each successive new moone."

Ted Kaczynski's custom-made Cuisinart food processor.

barb wire twister

A pineapple corer

Moose Likely to Succeed, Medium, Serene Green

Ear Wax Remover for Elephants

Moose Likely to Succeed, Medium, Serene Green

Rope/Twine Making Machine

Moose Likely to Succeed, Medium, Seren Green

Victorian-Era Combination Dimple Placer and E-Z Natural Birth Assister(tm)

It may be a coconut opener

WHen I went to kindergarten we had these at every doorway. Do you remember those strings that used to connect your mittens together that ran throsgh the arms of your jacket? How they used to get stretched? This thing would tighten them. Ah, the good old days.

It's a hole widener.

I Scare My Own Family (2XL)

An apple *peeler*!

It's a Medieval Trepaning tool for " weak people who shews signs of indecision or being of split personality and thyne that performe poorly academically."

Moose likely to succeed XL Serene Green, please.

An Ancient Manual Enema machine

It was rocket science - large

Reamer for pipes.

It's a "ray gun of shame", New England, ca. 1800.
Neatoramabot, ash, medium.

Its for making flared ends on pipes.

Oh No! It Was Rocket Science (XL)

Crank for a fire whistle.

It is a starter kit for redneck pimps---cuts a FINE hole in a pumpkin or a watermelon.

Funny t-shirt 3xl please

It's a pencil unsharpener.

Thesaurus, Grey XL

It's clearly something erotic.

Yard winder.

Look Out Schroedinger's Cat, It's a Trap! Chocolate. XL.

It looks like a fixed bung hole auger, used for making a tapered hole in the side of a barrel so that a bung could be wedged into place.

It's an early model Dalek.

An old drill...

Oh No, It was rocket science xxl

It is obviously for making giant spaghetti balls.

First you take your pot of pasta and you tilt it sideways so you can get the tip if the spiral cone into the pasta. Then a friend of yours would spin the crank until you have a flying spaghetti monster worthy dinner.

Tshirt choice: Support cloning, it could be fun. Large.

Anal probe used by Amish aliens.

A crank for a really heavy wind out window, or possibly an awning.

Mythbusted XL

This is what happened when the design for the Sidewinder missile was outsourced to the cheapest bidder

I heart maths XL

Its a coconut peeler

Manual-Winding Punishment machine. The missing part on the handle is the paddle. You would wind a string around the tapered screw, place the punishee next to the paddle, then pull the string as hard as demanded by the crime.

(Pointless Stores Are My Thing, L, Military Green)

a hand cranked buffer minus the buffing pad

Anal probe used by Amish aliens.

The Last Cookie xl
(I read instructions slowly)

Auger for making furniture legs - Science t-shirt

unicorn log splitter ?

A belly button borer.

Large Hadron Collider large, please.

for making cones of string or textile thread

This is an execellent condition vintage Elastomer Rabbit Habit.

Edit to go with my guess...

Bug or Feature: Large

It's a vice...

It's a vice

Money is the Root of All Evil

It's a bung hole reamer.

It's used for drilling a-holes in wooden horses.

Looks like a manual lathe to me. Have the apprentice turn the handle while the master carves the wood.

It is the original alien mind probe. Run! Be afraid. Be very afraid!

It i a manually operated spiral woodsplitter.

It looks like a manually operated spiral cone wood splitter.