Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

Norman Reedus Bit By Fan At Convention, Posts Perfect Response On Instagram

Norman Reedus has survived all sorts of post-apocalyptic peril as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead, but recently he had to contend with a stranger danger he'd never faced before- a feral fan.

While attending the Walker Stalker convention in New Jersey Norman was bit by an overzealous female fan who clearly has a hard time telling real life apart from that undead utopia featured on the show.

She posted this response on Instagram:

I lost my mind...got so excited standing beside him...& just turned my head and bit him! I don't know what came over me.

The "attack" took Norman by surprise, turned the internet into a hotbed of discussion about fans taking fandom too far, but in the end Norman had the perfect response to post on Instagram:


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-Via GeekTyrant


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Florida Man Eaten By Alligator While Hiding From Police

Let this story serve as a warning to all criminals on the run in the great state of Florida- if you're gonna run from the law and try to hide out until the whole thing blows over choose somewhere safe and dry.

This seems like common sense, since wet and deadly are hardly ideal conditions for someone trying to save their own skin, but for some reason stupid criminals on the run in Florida often end up in a swamp, lake or pond.

Here's why you should stay dry- a burglar named Matthew Riggins was running from cops in Brevard County, Florida when he decided to hide from their K-9 units in a Barefoot Bay Pond, where he was killed by an alligator.

The body was discovered ten days later, but a Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission trapper had to be called in to deal with an aggressive alligator guarding the body.

The gator was euthanized and Matthew's body was recovered,  and an examination of the gator found chunks of human flesh in it's stomach. The coroner confirmed the gator had killed and eaten Matthew Riggins, drowning him first like any other prey.

-Via Esquire

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Scientist Reveals There Are Three Hidden Portraits Underneath The Mona Lisa

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The Mona Lisa has been the source of controversy for decades, with people wondering "who posed for da Vinci?" "Is this the original painting or a fake?" and "Is the painting really hiding some secret meaning behind that smile?"

A new discovery didn't reveal the answer to all of these questions, but it apparently proved the portrait hanging in The Louvre is the real deal- and there are three more portraits hidden underneath.

(Image Link- Mona Lisa by Fernando Botero)

A French scientist named Pascal Cotte used a new method of light based layer analysis called the Layer Amplification Method to examine what lies beneath the paint:

The method involves a multispectral camera projecting intense lights on to the painting while measuring the reflections, helping look for what happened between the paint layers.

Cotte believes one of the hidden portraits is the actual painting of Lisa del Giocondo, the woman thought to be portrayed in the Mona Lisa.

(YouTube Link)

-Via Epoch Times

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Passionate News Reporter Warns Viewers About Weather, Takes Internet By Storm

Sometimes spot-news reporters are trying to work their way up to an anchor's seat, other times they're trying to report the news before anyone else, but only a select few are actually heroes.

They're the reporters who got into journalism to be like Clark Kent and Lois Lane, the brave souls who stand outside with a mic and report the news as it happens, often while risking their own lives.

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A brave soul named Teresa Mannion stood outside to warn about the dangers of storm Desmond, and her passionate reporting and quotes like "don't swim in the sea!" made her an internet hero.

And as Teresa's legend grows the memes and Photoshopped images have begun to pour in:

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Someone even made an electronic dance music remix of Teresa's report, because every good hero should have their own theme music.

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-Via Cheezburger

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Ohio Man Faces Fines For His Zombie Nativity Holiday Decorations

Not everyone who decorates for, and celebrates, Christmas is a Christian, and we put up holiday decorations we see as fun and funny assuming we're free to decorate our homes as we see fit.

Heaven forbid (literally) we present anything but the standard version of Christmas and the Nativity scene on our property, or we may end up paying with more than our souls...

That's the reality Jasen Dixon of Sycamore Township, Ohio is facing for the second year in a row because the city is threatening to fine him $500 a day for his Zombie Nativity tableau, which violates zoning laws according to city officials.

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What we need now are some officially licensed The Walking Dead Zombie Nativity sets, that oughta squash the beef!

-Via Boing Boing

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Celebrity Cameos That Made Us Cringe

The term celebrity is used rather loosely these days, and basically anyone who finds themselves with enough Twitter followers and more than five minutes of screen time calls themselves a celebrity.

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But those "famous" faces come marching into our pop culture lovin' lives whether we like it or not, often in the form of a ridiculous cameo appearance that makes the audience cringe.

Of course it's not always the "celebrity" that makes us cringe, sometimes it's the fact that the celeb agreed to do the cameo in the first place that makes us shrug and shudder at the same time.

Remember when Milton Berle appeared in RATT's video for "Round And Round"?

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Yeah, I wish I could erase that memory from my mind as well, but it appears we're stuck with that startling image of Uncle Milty looking more like Aunt Miltina for life.

And who could forget Richard Pryor's appearance on The Partridge Family?

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I'm pretty sure he spent the rest of his life wishing he could forget he'd ever made a cameo appearance on that show as well.

But in the end the award for most WTF worthy cameo appearance goes to Larry David for his inexplicable appearance on Hannah Montana.

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*cue Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song while Larry shrugs*

See 24 Celebrity Cameos Too Embarrassing For Words at Cracked (contains NSFW language)

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Ladies Who Braided Their Hair Into Beards That Would Make Most Men Jealous

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Some women wish they could keep their faces warm in the winter by growing a thick, luxurious beard like those side show ladies, or the feral werewolf women of Romania, but alas they were cursed with a relatively hair free face.

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They've tried on fake beards and worn knit woollen face warmers to no avail, because the darn things aren't made out of their own hair, but it turns out all they really needed to do was wrap their own hair around their face!

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Bored Panda is hosting an open list for people to post the best lady with braid beard pics they can find, and something tells me this look is about to catch on in a big way!

See 10+ Women Who Braided Their Hair Into Beards That Make Men Envious here

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The Seven Types Of Drunk Couples You Meet At A Party

Drunk people tend to start acting strangely as soon as the hooch takes a hold of them, and their behavior only gets worse as they get drunker and therefore feel less inclined to care how they're acting.

This is especially true if the drunks are drinking as a couple, because their special relationship fuels the flames of passion in their hearts, causing them to make a scene as a drunken duet.

This season you're sure to encounter some of the drunken couples on this comical list by Andrew Bridgman and Paul Westover at various holiday functions, so bear this terrifying truth in mind- they all started out as Fun Drunks!

See The 7 Types Of Drunk Couples here

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The Drunk Series - Web Videos Written By And Starring Drunk People

First we had the various TV projects starring Dean Martin, then came The Gong Show, Baywatch and the even more incoherent Baywatch Nights, and a web series turned TV show where drunks talk about history.

Now the televised drunkenness has reached new creative heights with The Drunk Series, a web video series from Ganglebot Films written by and starring drunks.

It's the pinnacle of inappropriate programming, but The Drunk Series isn't encouraging alcohol abuse, they're merely taking advantage of every moment while the actors and writers are trashed.

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Drunk people are admittedly pretty funny to watch on camera, but something tells me this show wouldn't have the same energy if it was written by and starred stoners, although someone's sure to try that formula soon.

-Via Laughing Squid

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Husbands Who Took Their Wives' Requests Too Literally

When husbands and wives ask each other for favors their requests are met with mixed results, but as a general rule when one of them takes that request too literally things can get mighty silly.

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Sometimes it's really not their fault, since the request was just too vague, but more often than not the problem is simply that their spouses are messing with them!

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If you're lucky enough to have a loved one in your life who enjoys messing with your mind, or one who follows your request to the letter even though they don't understand what you want, you've got yourself a keeper!

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See 12 Husbands Who Took Their Wives' Requests A Bit Too Literally here

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Jello Biafra's Acting Demo Reel

Jello Biafra is best known as a spoken word performer and frontman for the band Dead Kennedys, but he's also a political activist, prankster, and owns his own record label Alternative Tentacles.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that Biafra is also an actor, who has made many memorable cameo appearances in movies and TV shows such as Tapeheads, Portlandia and The Widower.

In Tapeheads Jello plays an FBI agent who says "Remember what we did to Jello Biafra?", a reference to the 1985 obscenity trial Biafra was involved in over the H.R. Giger poster included in the DK album Frankenchrist.

It's good that Jello can laugh about that bit of nonsense now, and it certainly didn't hurt his career!

(Video contains NSFW language)

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-Via Dangerous Minds

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Chris Pratt And Dave Bautista's Screen Test For Guardians Of The Galaxy

It's easy to assume Chris Pratt and Dave Bautista had the Guardians Of The Galaxy gig in the bag from day one, but this screen test clip proves they had to audition just like everyone else.

However, this screen test has something going for it the other auditions were clearly lacking- the instant chemistry shared between Pratt and Bautista.

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I couldn't help but think of Chris playing Andy Dwyer on Parks And Rec while watching this audition, because his warmth and charm had Bautista cracking up by the end of the audition.

-Via Geek Universe

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Our Facebook Friends Are Living A Lie

Avid Facebookers often exaggerate about the good and bad parts of their lives, like their sense of self worth is fueled by likes and encouraging comments.

But many of those Facebook friends who brag about their perfect marriages, angelic kids and the idyllic paradises they call home are living a lie, and Keenan McGrath of Scary Mommy is calling them out.

All those amazingly decorated cupcakes sure do impress me, but I’d just love to see the state of your kitchen right now. Oh, and maybe a selfie so I can see the bags under your eyes from staying up until 2 a.m. to finish these, because when the hell else would any normal person have time to make a diorama of the North Pole out of sugar cubes? Also, I’m only about 50-percent sure you didn’t cut and paste that picture from Pinterest to shame us pre-made cupcake moms at the bake sale.

Enough with the BS about “how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband.” It’s sweet maybe once a year on your anniversary, but otherwise it’s “lucky” you haven’t killed him. If you’ve been married for more than five years and can go for entire weeks without a single complaint about your spouse, then I want whatever drugs you’re on. You can love someone and still want to staple things to their head at least three times a week.

Her hilarious rant picks apart the lies being posted on Facebook every day- it's equal parts harsh truth and exaggeratedly irate monologue taking aim at people who probably aren't on Scary Mommy's friends list anymore.

Read Your Facebook Life Doesn't Fool Me. (Contains NSFW language)

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Bizarre Cameos By Infamous Tyrants In Kids' Shows

Tyrants and despots and kids' TV shows- one of these things is not like the others, can you guess which thing just doesn't belong?

Well, someone should have told the creators of Hey Arnold!, Animaniacs, and Histeria!, because they had no problem including Hitler, Hussein and Stalin in their kiddie cartoon shows.

Animaniacs was known for taking risks and trying to appeal to both parents and kids with adult humor, but what did parents think when they saw Saddam Hussein making not one but (at least) two appearances on the show?

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And then the crew followed up Hussein's appearance with a particularly grim Joseph Stalin themed sketch on their next show Histeria!, here it is complete with subtitles to illustrate the starkness.

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Well, you can't accuse Histeria!'s creators of pulling punches when it comes to teaching history, and it's definitely entertaining to watch as an adult, but what did the kiddies think of slapstick Stalin?

Read 6 Bizarre Cameos By Infamous Killers (In Kids' Shows) here

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A Pictorial Celebration Of The Glorious Piecaken

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The Turducken is the most famous of all three-bird roasts nowadays, and when pics of the triple stuffed carnivore's delight became trendy online people started trying their hand at making the dish just for the bragging rights.

But what meal is complete after the entree, even if it's like three entrees in one? People knew there was something missing from that creatively crammed holiday meal, and they were right- it was missing the piecaken.

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They said "you've gotta try it! It's like four or more desserts in one!"

But nobody cared...until they saw pics of that triple layered treat and realized how wonderful it would be to have pumpkin pie, pecan pie, apple pie and moist white cake all in one massive tower of dessert perfection.

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No matter how you slice it, the Piecaken is one holiday dessert engineered to delight!

See a visual tribute to the Piecaken here

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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The 8 People You'll Date In Your Lifetime As Types Of Pokemon

Everybody approaches battle a romantic relationship in their own way, and it's hard to see what kind of monster person you're dealing with until you've spent enough time in the arena.

As people are fond saying there are lots of fish in the sea, but if you think of those fish as Pokemon you'll discover you really don't want to catch 'em all.

Some will try to trap you, others will evolve into something scary just when you think the relationship is going well, and a rare few will make you fight to stay awake from the very first date!

If you're wondering what kind of Pokemon you've been dating consult this illustrated guide to The 8 Pokemon You'll Date In Your Lifetime by Willie Muse and see if you've been catching top tier talent or devolved duds.

See The 8 Pokemon You'll Date In Your LIfetime here

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Some Of The Most Embarrassing Models Made By Major Automakers

Virtually every auto maker in the world has one particular model they're truly proud of, with the big names having many defining models to choose from, but even the greats blunder greatly sometimes.

Take the Dodge Shelby Lancer for example- it's an ugly eyesore of a car that nearly besmirched the Carroll Shelby name, and unlike the Cobras or Mustang GT350 it took the Lancer a whopping 7.2 seconds to go from zero to sixty.

It's almost like Shelby was sick of style and speed, so he went looking for the safety and comfort of a sedan but didn't know quite how to make the transition.

The Ford Mustang II had a similar problem making the transition from being a macho muscle car to being seen as the brown corduroy bell bottoms of the automotive world.

The 'Stangs sexy curves were replaced with a boxier look inspired by the Pinto, and even though Ford gussied up Mustang: The Sequel up with King Cobra appearance packages, it was more like a mule than a mustang under the hood.

See The 12 Most Embarrassing Cars Built By Excellent Automakers here

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Chinese Artist Vacuums Beijing Air For 100 Days And Makes A Brick Out Of Findings

I'm sure you've heard the statistics that say breathing the polluted air in Beijing is like smoking 40 cigarettes per day, and air pollution is responsible for 4,000 deaths a day in China, but stats are hard to visualize.

So in order to bring attention to the environmental issue of air pollution, and illustrate how bad the air actually is in Beijing, performance artist "Nut Brother" vacuumed the air for months then made a brick out of his findings.

His vacuuming lasted four hours a day for 100 days, and then he mixed the soot and filth he'd gathered from the air with clay and created one big ol' brick of Beijing smog. *cringe*

-Via Beautiful/Decay

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Guy Gets Slapped By Cat For Christmas

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They say Santa has his eyes and ears everywhere in the world, spying on humans when they're sleeping and awake to help the big guy formulate his naughty and nice lists.

These agents are said to be elves, but Saint Nick's a crafty old codger and he knows that people can spot his elves a mile away, so he has started using other less conspicuous agents, such as cats.

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They see you when you're bad or good, or when you're sitting in a recliner laughing at your friend who's passed out on the ground. Sometimes they report their findings to Santa, sometimes they simply deliver a slap to the offender!

-Via Cheezburger

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Woman Demonstrates What It's Like To Have Narcolepsy

Narcolepsy is one of those conditions people constantly joke about because they don't understand it at all, or they think "So you constantly take little naps, what's the big deal"

Well, according to this video by Sleepy Sarah Elizabeth that began as an accidental recording of a sleep attack, narcolepsy can be a really big deal since it shuts your body down, no matter where you are or what you're doing.

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This video may give us a better understanding of what narcolepsy looks like, but it can never really explain how it feels to experience an uncontrollable sleep attack, which is clearly no laughing matter.

-Via Laughing Squid

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Intense 1982 Performance By The Cure

Most people don't think of The Cure as an intense band because they've spent much of their musical career playing dark and moody pop inspired tracks rather than punk rock.

But their roots are more hardcore than Robert Smith's brooding stage persona would lead you to believe, and in the early days they used to put on a hell of a show as a three piece band.

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This (admittedly terrible quality) footage is from a show The Cure played in April of 1982 at Davout Studio in Paris, France, for the French TV show L'Echo des Bananes.

If you're a fan of The Cure this video is sure to put them back into heavy rotation on your playlist, and if you've never accepted them into your music loving life now's as good a time as any!

-Via Dangerous Minds

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The 2016 Pirelli Calendar Has A Bold New Look

The Pirelli Calendar is known for featuring images of scantily clad (if not fully nude) women who are supposed to represent the sexy and sophisticated Pirelli brand.

But this year Pirelli took a big step in a bold new direction for their 2016 calendar by featuring strong women known for more than physical beauty, like Amy Schumer, Fran Liebowitz, Tavi Gevinson and the eternally artsy Yoko Ono.

Pirelli chairman Marco Tronchetti Provera says the new look of the calendar "reflects contemporary society", and with the queen of portrait photography Annie Liebovitz behind the lens the new calendar is their most sophisticated yet!

-Via Boing Boing

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Stephen Colbert And Liam Neeson Star In "Candy Crush: The Movie"

Stephen Colbert, Liam Neeson, Candy Crush Saga- what do these three dissimilar nouns have in common?

They all came together in one deliciously ridiculous sketch on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a sketch inspired by the news that Activision Blizzard has just acquired King Digital Entertainment for a staggering 5.9 billion dollars.

Activision is also about to get into the filmmaking business, making all movie adaptations of their video games in-house, so Colbert connected the dots and predicted what the upcoming Candy Crush movie will look like.

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It's got it all- a dramatic and tragic storyline, a ton of references to elements from the game, and the image of Liam Neeson in a ridiculous outfit that you won't soon forget!

-Via The Daily What

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Ten British Monarchs Who Died In Humiliating Ways

Historically speaking the British monarchs were not very nice people, but for some reason their pompous misadventures in debauchery and murder are often overshadowed by the regal visage seen in classic paintings.

But portraits don't properly depict the darkness that surrounded British monarchs such as Henry VIII and King John, although you can often see the shadow of something sinister in their eyes.

With their knack for spreading that darkness around to their subjects it's not surprising people celebrated their deaths, but the worst offenders often got their just desserts in the end.

King Henry VIII (arguably) died of obesity, and his body had grown so large that a gigantic, lead-lined coffin had to be specially constructed for his burial...and then his body exploded when it was placed in the coffin.

King John got to die relatively intact, but his death was perhaps the most humiliating of them all- because he literally crapped himself to death due to dysentery. But at least he went out while eating a "surfeit of peaches"...

See 10 British Monarchs Who Died In Hilariously Humiliating Ways here

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What The Avengers Should Look Like, According To The Comics

Filmmakers have to take certain liberties with the characters they adapt for the big screen, and one of the biggest changes they always seem to make is to the character's appearance, namely their costume and accessories.

There's something about the way those super folks look in the comics that filmmakers don't see as modern enough (except for Spider-Man's costume) which, in the case of Tony Stark's facial accessory, is understandable.

But why can't Black Widow wear a mask or Hawkeye a cowl or hood? And what's wrong with the bright color schemes Thor and The Hulk are seen sporting in the comics? Why can't Hulk wear his purple pants in peace?

See What The Avengers Look Like According To The Comics here

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Images From Moments That Make You Think "I Need An Adult!"

Most of us outgrow that "I need an adult!" feeling by the time we're in high school, or during our college days at the latest, but sometimes we encounter scary stuff that makes us feel like a kidult in need of adult supervision.

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That's the feeling you get when you see something creepy that makes you want to hide in the closet and count to a hundred, or someone who gives you nightmares like a 5-year-old after watching Gremlins.

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You may find it quite comforting to know there are other grown folks out there who feel like little kids when they encounter something creepy, but try and stifle your screams if you look through this post while you're all alone!

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See 22 Pictures That Will Make You Say "I Need An Adult" here

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The Book Of Mormon Missionary Positions

Trey Parker and Matt Stone must have known they would stir up controversy with their Broadway musical The Book Of Mormon, but they had no way of knowing it would become a sacrilegious smash hit.

Now there's a new wave of controversy following fresh on the heels of the hit Broadway play- The Book Of Mormon Missionary Positions, a SFW sex instruction manual for door-to-door evangelists.

This ridiculous photo series was put together by Portland-based photographer Neil Dacosta as a satirical jab at The Church Of Latter-Day Saints' stance on homosexuality. Oh, I think they got the message!

-Via Dangerous Minds

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Five-Year-Old Drummer Plays System Of A Down's "Chop Suey"

Kids are dropping their nursery rhymes and Doodlebop tracks at an early age these days, trying to follow in the footsteps of their rock lovin' parents and get their garage bands started early.

That's all well and good for the preteens, but how are you going to get your kindergartner off to school when they're too busy rockin' out on the drums?

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The young drummer in the video is five-year-old Eduarda Henklein-Baterista, the song is System Of A Down's "Chop Suey", and the time is sometime after SpongeBob but before bedtime.

-Via Loudwire

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Victoria's Secret Models At Their First And Last Runway Shows

Few could have foreseen how big the Victoria's Secret empire would become, especially since they started out below market leader Frederick's Of Hollywood, but nowadays they're a mainstay of the fashion world.

Some Angels, such as Adrian Lima, have been around from the very beginning, while other names often associated with Victoria's Secret, like Laetitia Casta, made a huge impression in a very short amount of time.

This year Harper's Bazaar celebrated the 20th anniversary of the wildly popular Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with a look back at the beauties who let the Secret out of the bag, pairing images of their first and last runway look.

See Victoria's Secret Models: Then And Now here

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Adam Sandler's 2015 Update For The Chanukah Song

There's no way Adam Sandler could have known what a big hit The Chanukah Song would become, but now it's such a beloved song that even Gentiles play it as part of their holiday song playlist.

But Adam's original version came out twenty years ago and features somewhat outdated references, so he felt it was time for an update.

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Adam recorded this update of The Chanukah Song (the fourth incarnation, apparently) at a show he played with some funny friends in San Diego, and shared it just in time for the holidays on his YouTube channel Happy Madison. What a great gift, thanks Adam!

-Via Memebase

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Profile for Zeon Santos

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