Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

Dirty Jokes Hidden In Favorite Childhood Cartoons

Cartoons meant for kids are scrutinized to make sure that no elements deemed “mature audiences only” creep into the final product.

This includes sexual references, violence and foul language, but clever cartoon creators are capable of slipping an adult joke into a kid’s cartoon like nobody else.

These jokes tend to go right over a kid’s head, and are likely slipped in to entertain the older folks who might be watching along with their little ones.

But when you look back at some of the jokes found in favorite childhood cartoons like Rugrats and Batman: The Animated Series it's surprising how raunchy those sneaky little jokes can be!

See Dirty Jokes You Missed In Your Favorite Childhood Cartoons at Dorkly


The Movies Roger Ebert Really Hated

Roger Ebert is one of the most well respected, liked and famous movie critics who has ever lived, and he spent four decades helping us refine our cinematic palates by telling us why movies deserve a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

Mr. Ebert did not mince words, and sometimes his reviews were so perfectly scathing they gave the film a bad rep before most people had even seen it.

He wasn’t afraid to go against the opinion of the masses, like when he called Michael Bay’s Armageddon “an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained”, or his review of beloved cult classic Hocus Pocus “The witches in this one inspired my silent cry, ‘Get me out of here!”

(Image Link)

However, peruse this list of 22 Movies Roger Ebert Really Hated and you’ll see that his hate list is overwhelmingly right on the money!

Behold his review of M. Night Shmalayan's The Village:

“Eventually the secret of Those, etc., is revealed. It’s a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It’s so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don’t know the secret anymore. And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we’re back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets.”

See 22 Movies Roger Ebert Really Hated at mental_floss


Ten Of The Strangest Games Based On Pop Culture Franchises

Licensed games, like comic books and toys, go through phases of overdevelopment that result in some pretty odd choices being made by game companies.

It’s like they don’t have a filter for what should or shouldn’t be made into a game when pop culture trends reach their most profitable, so they start churning out games for any movie or TV show license that comes across their desk.

Fight Club is a movie about a guy who beats himself up and has rules against talking about beating himself up, sounds like the making of a great video game!

Haven't you always wanted to beat Full House's Michelle Tanner...at a board game? Well what are you waiting for, grab the epic Full House board game that came out in 1993 and show Michelle you got it, dude!

See 10 Inexplicable Games Based On Pop Culture here


Surfing The Internet On A TRS-80 Model 100

You don’t need a brand new, high powered computer to go online, and believe it or not there are still people out there surfing the net via dialup modem.

Now if you want to have the best online experience it helps if your computer has at least a few modern features, but if you haven’t bought a new computer in the last thirty years don’t worry, you can still go online...if you’re crafty.

Ars Technica writer Sean Gallagher is clearly crafty when it comes to the thoroughly modern art of computing, and he was able to get online with his newly acquired TRS-80 Model 100 (released in 1983) and a little slice of Raspberry Pi.

Sean's journey to bring 80s computer tech into the 21st century is equal parts inspiring and befuddling, but the results show time travelers from the 80s shouldn't have a problem getting online when they visit the 21st century.

Read Surfing The Internet...From My TRS-80 Model 100 here


Some Of The Most Beautiful Shots In Movie History

Some movies are remembered for their crazy twists, thought provoking storylines or memorable characters, but beyond that most movies are remembered for those magical camera shots.

It’s the art of the shot that makes or breaks most Directors, and the camera shot will forever define the motion picture industry because cinema is a visual medium at its core.

Many a Director has built their reputation upon their “eye”, and their camera shots took the storyline in their films well beyond simple plot and character development.

BuzzFeed has put together a perfectly eye-pleasing collection of 129 Of The Most Beautiful Shots In Movie History which, like most lists of its kind, is missing some key movies, includes some shots that don't fit in with the rest, and will likely be a source of contention.

But that's the beauty of the movies- we love them, we hate them, and we love to discuss why we love and hate them!


After The Mickey Bombs Fall The Apocalypse Princesses Shall Rise!

It seems like every kind of Disney Princess mashup has been done before, with many genres “reimagined” over and over again without much being added to the theme.

But then along comes Tess Fowler's truly stunning posse of Apocalyptic Princesses to remind us what a perfect reimagining looks like.

My favorites in the bunch are Alice, who is reminiscent of Tank Girl, and the awe inspiring Aurora, who has no time for sleep since the bombs fell from the sky...

Tess is currently illustrating the Image comic book series Rat Queens, but her Apocalyptic Princesses would make great character designs for an original series…oh, that’s right, they’re all Disney characters…Never mind! Perhaps they can become the Apocalyptic Duchesses? *wink*

See more Apocalypse Princesses Fan Art at GeekXGirls


The Inspirationally Drunk

There is no better source of inspiration than a slurred speech given by someone who’s too drunk to stand, much less speak coherently.

Oh wait, did I say no better? I meant no worse, as in demotivational and truly sad, especially knowing they won’t remember a word of their drunken speech when they wake up the next day.

The only thing inspirational about a really drunk person is the natural way they inspire others not to drink so much, lest they turn out looking like a drunken fool as well.

And that's why drunks make terrible motivational speakers, well, that and it's really hard to understand what they're trying to say.

See why Mixing Inspirational Quotes With Pics Of Drunk People Is The Best Thing Ever here


Adventure Time Title Cards Collected In Beautiful Coffee Table Books

Adventure Time has taken cartoon cool to a whole new level, with amazing art and totally tripped out storylines that are made to appeal to kids and adults alike.

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Every episode of Adventure Time begins with a totally mathematical looking title card that serves as a graphic representation of the storyline, plus it helps set the mood for the episode.

Whether they’re scary, far out or fantastically funny, those title cards are a very visually appealing way to start every episode.

Now you can bring those title cards home in book form to sit on your bookshelf or coffee table where they belong in Adventure Time: The Original Cartoon Title Cards, with two volumes out so far covering the first four seasons of the show.

It's an eye-pleasing way to admire the artistry that goes into this amazing and innovative cartoon show, and may even convince those who don't know what time it is that it's Adventure Time!

-Via Polygon


Some Of The Best Burns From The Batman Universe

You know you’ve delivered a good burn line when the burn victim is at a loss for words and you’re left feeling like the smile is going to fly right off your face!

You try to keep your cool, making the burn that much more effective, but inside you feel like having a Joker laughathon at the burn victim’s expense.

Those red hot witty retorts are the stuff legends are made of, and sure to get a verbal reshare from all who witnessed the burn in action, but it takes decades of practice to burn ‘em like Batman.

He’s got a comeback for everything, and victims of his burns are often individuals with super powers so you know that burn has got to be heroic to get through their defenses!

See 11 Of The Sickest Burns From The Batman Universe at Dorkly


Profile Of The World's Youngest Master Penman

Penmanship is becoming a lost art, and as computer peripherals and software are programmed to better simulate natural mediums the art of pen and ink is pushed further into the background.

And yet there are those who are keeping the tradition alive, those who prefer pen nibs dipped in ink to plastic nibs sketching on a digital surface.

These champions of traditional art are few in numbers, and assumed to be “of a certain age” due to the antiquated medium they’re championing, but one young man is defying these norms.

(YouTube Link)

His name is Jake Weidmann and he’s the world’s youngest master penman by about three decades. Uproxx created this video profile of the talented young Mr. Weidmann, showcasing his uniquely old timey talent that will wow even the most modern tech heads.

-Via Sploid


The 2016 Presidential Candidates Are Peddling Some Crappy Merch

As the 2016 presidential candidates prepare to hit America's highways in search of financial support for their campaigns we can expect to see the best and worst of every candidate come to light.

But one of the campiest, cheesiest, and most ridiculous elements of presidential campaigning is the sale of candidate related merch, and the silly stuff they sell often becomes a collector's item because of the historical significance.

2016 promises to be a benchmark year in the world of presidential candidate related crap, because Hillary Clinton’s got her own Chillary Clinton can Koozie, Rand Paul’s selling signed copies of the Constitution for one large, and Jeb Bush is selling a cheap plastic Guaca Bowle for a mere $75 buckaroos.

It’s a star spangled shopping bonanza!

See The Best Worst Presidential Campaign Merchandise at Gizmodo


Video Essay Explains The DIfference Between Good And Bad CG Visual Effects

Whether you’re a fan of CGI in movies, prefer the practical effects, or simply don’t give a crap about computer generated imagery in cinema one thing’s for certain- you probably don’t know the difference between good and bad CG visual effects.

That’s not to say it takes a trained eye to spot bad CGI, but almost every single movie has some sort of computer generated visual effect applied to it nowadays so it’s hard to tell a good use of digital enhancement from utter rubbish.

(YouTube Link)

This visual essay by Freddie Wong for RocketJump Film School does a really good job of illustrating the difference between good and bad CG VFX, and once you watch the video you'll start spotting all those CG effects you weren't supposed to notice.

-Via Laughing Squid


Incredibly Cool Crashed Star Destroyer LEGO Diorama

Did you ever build a ship out of LEGO bricks and then try to make it look like it actually crashed by dropping it on the floor? I tried that technique a time or two, but LEGO bricks fit together so well that it never really worked out the way I wanted it to.

But where I failed to crash a LEGO vehicle the right way Brickster KevFett2011 succeeded in style by using a whopping 12,000 bricks to build this impressive crashed Star Destroyer scene from Star Wars Episode VII.

KevFett2011’s Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens Apoca Star Destroyer On Jakku LEGO model is one super square work of art, and it totally would have made childhood me go squee!

-Via Super Punch


The 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic Book Movie History

Superman throws his "S" Shield in Superman II

Comic book movies are always going to be full of bad one liners and "WTF just happened?!" moments, but knowing they're coming doesn’t make these scenes any less cringe-worthy for the viewing audience.

Reed Richards dances his arms off in Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer

When io9 called out for readers to submit their favorite cringe-worthy moments in superheroic cinematic history they got way too many submissions to use. But in the end they were able to boil it down to the 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic Book Movie History.

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The list is full of superhero schlock at its saddest, and it shows how far some comic book movies have come and how far they still have to go before they're free of that cheesy stigma.

See The 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic Book Movie History here


What If Werner Herzog Directed Ant-Man?

Ant-Man isn’t an incredibly deep movie, nor does it have a bunch of hidden symbolism and underlying meaning, because it’s meant to be a popcorn movie and not a deep thinker. But if Werner Herzog had been at the helm as director the story would have taken a very different turn.

For one thing Ant-Man would have faced an existential crisis instead of a supervillain, his powers would have been drawn from introspection instead of a supersuit, and he never would have made it out of that tall grass growing in his mind.

(YouTube Link)

Thanks Patrick (H) Willems for showing us how strange Ant-Man could have been, and why Herzog should take the helm for the new X-Men movies, can you imagine the mental mayhem caused by all that mutant angst?

-Via The Hollywood Reporter


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Profile for Zeon Santos

  • Member Since 2012/08/04


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