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The Inspirationally Drunk

There is no better source of inspiration than a slurred speech given by someone who’s too drunk to stand, much less speak coherently.

Oh wait, did I say no better? I meant no worse, as in demotivational and truly sad, especially knowing they won’t remember a word of their drunken speech when they wake up the next day.

The only thing inspirational about a really drunk person is the natural way they inspire others not to drink so much, lest they turn out looking like a drunken fool as well.

And that's why drunks make terrible motivational speakers, well, that and it's really hard to understand what they're trying to say.

See why Mixing Inspirational Quotes With Pics Of Drunk People Is The Best Thing Ever here


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so... my initial thought was "lightsaber hilt", but now I think it's like a decorative cover for a candle, and the bottom part is the candle stand. Like those little bell things they used to use to put out candles, only it covers the whole thing so you don't have to look at the drips.
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Its a gravity indicator for sky-divers. I don't sky dive, so I'm not sure how its used exactly, but I think you drop it out of the airplane and follow it towards the ground. They started using them after a lot of sky divers started getting lost.
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New Starbucks extra-large travel mug.

In keeping with their seemingly meaningless faux-european sounding names for their sizes, this size is called "fastidio"... which means "annoyance" in Italian.

Heart Me Tender... Ladies XL... color: chocolate
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It's a mobile candlestick. If you need to walk around you can, and when you return, you can replace it in the base.

It was used primarily on the bedside table, and was designed to be carried safely in one hand. It was for those nocturnal visits to the chamber pot, and you would need a hand free to accomplish the mission. A "normal" candlestick would drip wax on your hand, and a "Jack-Be-Nimble" candlestick, with a loop on the base, wouldn't be as steady in the hand when walking about.
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It's an ashtray that's self emptying. The lever on the side slides and opens the ash tray on top which then drops the butts into the container below.

Jewel ice cube tray, please.
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This is used by lady hamsters for pole-dancing. The little arm at the top is for attaching a bag for collecting tips (since tucking peanuts into their little G-strings makes them look slightly less becoming!)

Something went terribly wrong T-shirt XL
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It is the stopper control for a bathtub. This one goes in the floor and I guess reaches under the tub to close the valve. Lots of old NYC apartments have them. I didn't know I could stop up my tub for a year before someone told me what it was. or i figure it out. like a genius. like a genius..
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I think it's a Smoke Message machine.
put some smoky-thing in the tube and use the silver lever.
Finally, SMS your friends to look in the sky in your direction to see your message...

Family Ties, M size please.
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Its a ball washer for use on the golf course.

Be very careful when using it... I fell off one of these once and sprained my ankle.

Heart Me Tender... Ladies XL... color: sexual chocolate
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This houses the main power coupling for the warp drive on a Federation, Constitution class starship.

(SPOILER ALERT!!) Spock took the top off this housing at the end of Wrath of Khan, saving the entire ship but killing himself by radiation exposure.

Heart Me Tender... Ladies XL... color: chocolate
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