Think a machine can't do your job? Don't say that out loud, or someone will immediately invent one that can. Think that there's other things in life besides a job? Don't say that out loud, either, because the machines will replace that, too. But look ahead: the ones who own the machines can only soak up so much of the profit until there's no one left able to buy anything. This depressing story is brought to you by Alex Culang and Raynato Castro at Buttersafe.
Miss Cellania's Blog Posts
Two guys who don't like each other at all show up at the same party, and they have to adhere to social norms of speaking and feigning a thin veneer of etiquette. That geniality only lasts a nanosecond as they launch into a game of one-upmanship over who can be more passive-egressive. Contains some NSFW language.
You probably know someone in real life who is like this, but I hope if you know two of them, that they don't show up together. Still, in real life this would be longer and more drawn-out, because most people aren't this adept at public vitriol. -via Metafilter
Every one of us, even the most famous and glamorous celebrities, was once a little child. When these folks grew up to portray comic book superheroes on the silver screen, we got to know their looks well. In this gallery of childhood pictures of movie superheroes, some look pretty dorky, all look adorable, and you can see a glimpse of what they would one day grow up to be.
This weird old postcard from Germany is undated, but seems to be about a hundred years old. Weird Vintage has some information about the joke.
Apparently this is some fancy wordplay which makes a whole lot more sense when you’re in on the joke. User laurentbelkacem explained “About La Fanfare d'Écublens postcard - Écublens is a little town in Canton Vaud, Switzerland. The name of this town is pronounced in a way that in French sounds exactly, in this sentence, like “La Fanfare des culs blancs”, literaly “White butts brass band”.
I'm sure you can come up with more punch lines.
What do you do when you crave a cheeseburger, but your parents are asleep? An eight-year-old boy in East Palestine, Ohio, figured it out. He looked up how to drive on YouTube, watched a video about it, and then drove his parents' van to McDonald's! Oh yeah, he also took his four-year-old sister with him.
Witnesses told police that he expertly drove to the fast food joint, following traffic laws and staying under the speed limit.
“He didn’t hit a single thing on the way there. It was unreal,” Koehler said.
McDonald’s workers said they thought they were being pranked when he drove up to order a cheeseburger with money from his piggy bank.
“The workers thought that the parents were in the back, but obviously they weren’t,” Koehler said.
Police said the 8-year-old burst into tears when he learned that he did something wrong. He told officers that it was his first time behind the wheel.
The children got cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and fries before they were taken to the police station, where their parents picked them up. No charges were filed in the incident. -via Boing Boing
(Image credit: Danielk2)
The following article is from the book Uncle John's True Crime: A Classic Collection of Crooks, Cops, and Capers.
A woman is found dead...a well-known celebrity is charged with murder...the whole world follows the trial. O. J. Simpson? Nope—Fatty Arbuckle. In the early 1920s, the Arbuckle trial was as big as the Simpson trial. Here’s the story.
A KNOCK AT THE DOOR
On the morning of Saturday, September 10, 1921, two men from the San Francisco sheriff’s office paid a visit to Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, then Hollywood’s most famous comedian, at his home in Los Angeles. One of the men read from an official court summons: “You are hereby summoned to return immediately to San Francisco for questioning...you are charged with murder in the first degree.” Arbuckle, thinking the men were pulling a practical joke, let out a laugh. “And who do you suppose I killed?”
“Virginia Rappé.”
Arbuckle instantly knew that this was no joke. He’d just returned from a trip to San Francisco, where he’d thrown a party over the Labor Day weekend to celebrate his new $3 million movie contract—then the largest in Hollywood history—with Paramount Pictures. A 26-year-old bit actress named Virginia Rappé had fallen ill at the party, presumably from drinking too much bootleg booze. Arbuckle had seen to it that the woman received medical attention before he returned to L.A., but now Rappé was dead—and Arbuckle had somehow been implicated in her death. Whatever doubts he may still have had about the summons vanished the following morning as he read the three-inch headlines in the Los Angeles Examiner:
ARBUCKLE HELD FOR MURDER!
The autopsy report showed that Rappé died from acute peritonitis, an inflammation of the abdominal lining brought on by a ruptured bladder. Why was Arbuckle a suspect in the death? Because Maude “Bambina” Delmont, another woman at the party, had filed a statement with San Francisco police claiming that she had seen Arbuckle drag Rappé into his bedroom against her will and assault her. As she later explained to newspaper reporters,
I could hear Virginia kicking and screaming violently and I had to kick and batter the door before Mr. Arbuckle would let me in. I looked at the bed. There was Virginia, helpless and ravaged. When Virginia kept screaming in agony at what Mr. Arbuckle had done, he turned to me and said, ‘Shut her up or I’ll throw her out a window.’ He then went back to his drunken party and danced while poor Virginia lay dying.
The 265-pound comedian had supposedly burst Rappés’ bladder with his weight during the assault. And because the injury had gone untreated, it developed into a massive abdominal infection, killing Rappé.
We've seen amazing canine freestyle routines before, but this is a delight. Sara Carson and her dog Hero come up with more amazing moves for every section of the song. Do not miss the grand finale.
That's a good dog! The song is "Faith" by Stevie Wonder and Ariana Grand. You can also see a video of Hero when he appeared on David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks sketch. -via Boing Boing
Easter was a holiday celebrating spring long before it was taken as the date we commemorate the resurrection of Jesus. Even today, it's celebrated in the secular world with eggs and bunnies. As the history of the two celebrations intermingled, some really strange traditions were associated with the holiday. In Sweden in the Middle Ages, when witches were taken quite seriously, their pagan rituals were observed to coincide with the changes of the seasons, and so the tales of Easter witches grew. And they remained in pop culture long after the last witch was burned at the stake.
When lithography printers like Axel Eliassons in Stockholm began publishing holiday cards in the late 19th century, the Easter Witch—usually a happy elderly hag dressed like a Swedish farm wife in aprons and headscarves—became a standard character on often-comedic “Glad Påsk” (or “Happy Easter”) postcards. The printers also made smaller cards for the children to deliver. Influential Swedish illustrator Jenny Nystrom is credited with redefining the Easter Witch with her colorful and humorous turn-of-the-century cards. She then inspired Ingeborg Klein, Lars “Lasse” Carlsson, Sigrun Steenhoff, and her son Curt Nystrom Stoopendaal to come up with their own Easter Witch greetings.
As pretty-girl and pin-up art grew popular from World War II to the 1960s “Playboy” era, the witches on Glad Påsk greeting cards became younger, prettier, and progressively sexier. Like Mid-Century Santas, Easter Witches adopted modern means of transit, such as cars, airplanes, and rocket ships, and some found themselves in all sorts of slapstick situations, like getting entangled in television antennae or telephone wires.
Read about Easter witches and their history at Collectors Weekly. You'll see a gallery with a lot of holiday cards featuring Easter witches.
Walt Disney World is hosting its annual Star Wars Celebration, and today was the big kickoff with addresses by all the actors who play the key roles in the saga, in a panel called 40 Years of Star Wars. The key subject this year, however, is Carrie Fisher, who passed away in December. They showed this film about Fisher and her character Princess Leia.
Oh yeah, you might need a hankie. Star Wars Celebration will continue through Sunday in Orlando. -via Uproxx
Sir Richard Branson is a British entrepreneur who founded such diverse companies as Virgin Records, Virgin Atlantic Airways, and Virgin Mobile, making him one of the richest people on earth. You might not know that Branson is dyslexic. He says,
As I know from first-hand experience, school can be tough if you don’t get the right help. But I think it’s important to not let it hold you back. Dyslexia has been a massive help for me personally; it makes me think creatively and laterally, two major factors that helped me create Virgin and build a global brand.
Dyslexia is a different way of thinking, not a disadvantage and it shouldn’t stop young people from achieving success and striving to make their dreams a reality. Just look at what these amazing dyslexic people have achieved…
Branson found out that men with dyslexia are often rejected from donating to sperm banks because of the possibility of passing the condition along. In response, Branson has announced that he's opening the world's first sperm bank for dyslexics, and already has hundreds of interested donors. Only time will tell if there's a demand among customers. -Thanks, John Farrier!
(Image credit: Land Rover MENA)
The difference is stunning. California suffered drought conditions beginning in 2014, but the past winter was wet enough to restore many waterways and reservoirs. The state drought emergency has been lifted now, except for four counties. Photographer Justin Sullivan took pictures in the summer 2014 and again this spring. See a gallery of the comparisons at the Atlantic. -via Digg
Putter the squirrel is lucky enough to live near Fantasy Isle Ice Cream & Mini Golf in Holden Beach, North Carolina. She ate ice cream from the outdoor tables after customers left, and developed a taste for the treat. So shop owner Scott Martin now gives her a tiny squirrel-sized cone every day.
While Putter and her ice cream cones are cute and draw customers, wildlife officials say it's not a good idea to feed any wild animals. Especially not ice cream. -via Atlas Obscura
This "really cool guy" showed us, with one word, why he is doomed to be single forever. Some people have the need to be right all the time, and that can be a really lonely life. This is the latest from Chris Hallbeck at Maximumble.
The Proceedings of the Royal Society has published a research paper on the roles of impact and inertia in the failure of a shoelace knot. In other words, why your shoelaces come untied. The study is impressive, with pendulum swings and measurements of force and plenty of data. The short version is easier to understand.
While exploring that topic through slowmotion video of a knot untying as a runner used a treadmill, the researchers found the cause and effect was remarkably similar to manual untying. It’s caused by the combination of the foot striking the ground and the foot swinging.
The foot hits the ground at around seven times the force of gravity. That impact causes the knot to stretch and then relax as the force’s effect fades, which in turn loosens the knot. When the foot is swinging during a stride, inertia pulls the ends of the laces apart, eventually with enough force for the loosened knot to unravel.
This explains why velcro shoes are preferred by older people and mothers of young children. Read a synopsis of the research at Geeks Are Sexy.
(Image credit: Daily-Diamond,Gregg, O'Reilly)
Make a cartoon, even the most benign, into a hyperrealistic image is often frightening, but the bizarre and surreal images of Ren and Stimpy, from the 1990s Nickelodeon series The Ren & Stimpy Show, take it another step into crazyland. Andrew Freeman of Immortal Masks made these masks to bring the cartoons to life. Happy happy joy joy!
Every time I look back on that show I think about how they used to make human knees look so nasty. There was such fine detail in the writing and the animation on that show. I was a huge fan. When it comes to these masks I can’t say I’m a fan. I’m amazingly impressed by the precision and the “this is what they’d look like in real life” factor, but I can honestly say if one of these were in my house I would constantly freak out and have nightmares.
See more images and a video that explores these chilling creations at TVOM.
Email This Post to a Friend