Neatorama is proud to bring you a guest post from Ernie Smith, the editor of Tedium, a twice-weekly newsletter that hunts for the end of the long tail. In another life, he ran ShortFormBlog.

(Image credit: Flickr user Roman Boed)

Americans expect a glass of water by default with their sit-down restaurant meal. Why is it such a big deal, and how much water are we wasting, anyway?

Going to a restaurant is a game of expectations. We expect certain things out of the experience, based on the set parameters when we walk in the door. If we’re going to Mickey D’s, we expect our food pretty fast and fairly low-quality. If the restaurant doesn’t have a counter, we expect a menu at the table. And when we sit down at a restaurant—in the United States, at least—we expect a couple of glasses of water ready to go to help satiate our appetites. But why is that? And what are the ripple effects of having a glass of water sitting at our table before we’re ready to order? Let’s quench some knowledge.

Should water be served with a meal?

“Water always should be served, especially in this country. True, in France and in many parts of Italy, water is not drunk at all, because it is not fit to drink. But French etiquette demands that water be served at formal dinners. And American authorities on etiquette all include a glass of water in table settings.”

— New York Times food writer June Owen, writing in a 1957 column about the necessity of serving water with food ahead of a dinner, going against trends in Italian and other kinds of food to serve wine in a similar role. Owen notes that doctors recommend that we should drink water between meals. “But a sip of water in the midst of dinner clears the palate and quenches the thirst, which wine does not do,” she adds.

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website or at Facebook.

"Take Me Out to the Ball Game," the most popular baseball song ever written, was actually co-composed by two guys who had almost no interest in baseball whatsoever. (Kind of like Ryan Seacrest hosting the Miss America pageant.)

In 1908, a 29-year-old vaudeville performer named Jack Norworth (he was famous for his spirited hoofing and blackface routines) was riding the New York subway. During his subway ride, he saw a sign that said "Baseball today at the Polo Grounds."

The song struck a chord and Norworth was immediately inspired. He thought, was there a better example of a nationally shared experience than going to see a baseball game? Always on the lookout for a commercial idea, he quickly scribbled down a verse and chorus. He titled his song "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." (His original handwritten lyrics sheet is now in the National Baseball Hall of Fame.)

Norworth took his lyrics to a composer named Albert Von Tilzer. Von Tilzer wasn't much of a baseball fan either. Nevertheless, he knocked off a jaunty melody that fit Norworth's lyrics like a well-oiled glove.

Whether you liked it or not, you have to admit that La La Land was way overhyped. A shoo-in for Best Picture. I enjoyed the aesthetic, but the story wasn't all that much, and the characters weren't particularly likable. But maybe something wonderful happened when I fell asleep in the middle.

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And then there was that Oscar night screwup. Altogether, La La Land is the perfect target for Screen Junkies in their Honest Trailer series. Plenty of material. And a twist ending!

It was twenty years ago today that we met the unforgettable Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. The Mike Myers movie hit theaters on May 2, 1997. The dentally-challenged British playboy and spy was counterbalanced by his nemesis, Dr. Evil (also played by Myers). To celebrate this auspicious occasion, LEGO artist Ochre Jelly (Iain Heath) made busts of both!

The resemblance is uncanny. See more of Ochre Jelly's LEGO creations at his Flickr gallery.

Wearing gloves while examining a crime scene seems like a no-brainer to us, because we watch CSI and other acronym shows that follow modern police procedures. Anything you carry on your hands might contaminate evidence. But think about it: DNA wasn't used as evidence until just the last couple of decades. Gloves were used long before that. In fact, the turning point was a 1924 case in which Patrick Mahon stabbed and dismembered his lover, Emily Kaye.

Sir Bernard Spilsbury, a famous British pathologist, was called in as the chief medical examiner on the case. Spilsbury asked officers to collect the remains for further examination. Officers rolled up their sleeves and started tossing body parts into buckets, “as if they were sorting fish on a quayside.” Shocked, Spilsbury asked them if no rubber gloves were available, and they responded that they never wore protective gear of any kind.

By the next big murder case, Spilsbury had created the “Murder Bag,” a kit for police officers to carry that included rubber gloves, a magnifying glass, a tape measure, a ruler, swabs, sample bags, forceps, scissors, a scalpel, and other instruments. Suiting up with gloves before entering an active crime scene has been standard procedure ever since. The glove method isn’t the only thing the Mahon/Kaye case inspired, by the way—Alfred Hitchcock used details from the sensational story when he was making Rear Window.

From the narrative, one gets the idea that the gloves were more to protect the investigators than to protect the evidence at that point. You can read the gruesome story of that murder case at Mental Floss.

You've probably heard at one time or another that Wint-o-Green mint Life Savers sometimes flash when you bit down on them. Since this would require chewing with your mouth open, I have never seen it. But it happens. Smarter Every Day shows us what it looks like in slow motion.  

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The phenomenon is called triboluminescence, which is light generated by the energy of breaking chemical bonds. Cool Science explains it more thoroughly, and how you can try it at home. -via Boing Boing

You feel a sense of confusion, with a touch of dread. The foreboding is palpable. Then it's the growing realization that you're in …the Friendzone. This trailer explains the horror.

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British comedian Goubran Bahou (Goubtube) has a movie, but no one will buy tickets for it, because it would be really awkward to watch it with that girl you've been hanging out with.  -via Tastefully Offensive

Whether you have children or not, you may want to vacation in an atmosphere that's a bit less family-friendly than you're used to. You can get really adventurous at these adults-only resorts, or you can just relax and enjoy the calm, peaceful silence. You can even try something you'd never think of doing at home.

Jamaica’s famous clothing-optional resort, Hedonism II, is not your average getaway. This adults-only, all-inclusive beachfront property serves as a judgement-free haven where guests can feel comfortable letting go and pursuing pleasure. Hedonism fosters a sensual carefree atmosphere that encourages you to bring your fantasies to life. Skinny dipping is allowed here, in fact, it’s encouraged! Jamaica’s clear turquoise waters offer an unforgettable aquatic playground. Explore a whole new underwater world with nude scuba diving and snorkeling excursions available. All tapped out? Refuel with the delicious, fresh baked Jamaican patties or schedule a relaxing massage on the beach.

The other vacation getaways on the list are somewhat less adventurous, offering adult activities such as shopping, gambling, and cooking lessons. Check them all out at Money Inc.

We've seen animals and plants, plants and fungi, animals and bacteria, all with symbiotic relationships that benefit both species. Some combinations even take that relationship to the cellular level. But now scientists have identified algae living in salamander cells through the life of the animal, which is the first time a photosynthetic plant has been found in the cells of a vertebrate.

As a collaborative research team from the American Museum of Natural History and Gettysburg College revealed, the green alga Oophila amblystomatis makes its home inside of cells located across the body of the spotted salamander Ambystoma maculatum. The salamander doesn’t appear to be negatively affected by its microbial roommates, and in fact the amphibian may even be benefitting from this arrangement. The normally photosynthetic green algae, on the other hand, are completely stressed out, forced rely on an alternative means of energy production.

The finding is so strange and so unexpected that the scientists involved in the study aren’t sure why this relationship evolved in the first place, or how each creature might be benefitting.

The algae was spotted before in the eggs of the salamander, which benefits both, but now it appears that the algae stay with the animal into adulthood. As far as we know now, the relationship is either benign or one-sided, which opens up more questions to be studied. Read about this new discovery at Gizmodo.

(Image credit: OpenCage)

The age old question, which can devolve into petty bickering. When someone says, "Oh, anything is fine with me," you might be on the path to an endless guessing game when it becomes clear that anything is not alright. You've just been sucked into the vortex. This is the latest from the Awkward Yeti.

I found some serious catnip that will be playing all evening long while I work. It's a mashup of the Beatles and Star Wars. To be specific, the album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is used to tell the saga of Luke, Leia, Han, and the droids as they battle Darth Vader and the Empire. This is darned clever.   

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Dan Amrich and Jude Kelley of Palette-Swap Ninja redid the entire Sgt. Pepper album in Star Wars lyrics. You can hear the whole album of songs in this playlist. I was tickled with "AA Twenty-Three" (to the tune of "When I'm 64") and "Luke is in the Desert" (to the tune of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"). If you don't listen to anything else from the album, you've got to hear the last track, "Reprise/A Day in the Life of Red Five."  -via Metafilter

The following is an article from The Annals of Improbable Research, now in all-pdf form. Get a subscription now for only $25 a year!

(Image credit: Blackbow17)

Inventive, yet under-publicized devices
by Marina Tsipis, Improbable Research staff

A new invention aims to foil paparazzi who try to photograph celebrities or secret agents or anyone else who desires to not be photographed at certain times and places.

“Inhibiting Unwanted Photography and Video Recording,” US Patent 8157396, was granted to Wilbert Leon Smith, Jr. and Keelo Lamance Jackson of California on April 17, 2012. The inventors explain:

This invention relates generally to photography and video recording, and more specifically, to an apparatus and method which inhibits one’s image from being captured by an individual using video recorders and flash photography.... The apparatus includes a shaft operable to be held by an entity and a housing extending from one end of the shaft and operable to allow multiple deterrents to be emitted there from.... The housing includes a light source coupled to the transparent material and operable to emit a light.... Each deterrent is operable to obscure an image of the entity captured by filming equipment.

Taking a castle by siege was never as easy as rolling up your machines when the need arose. When the forces of England's King Edward I encircled Scotland's Stirling Castle in 1304, he ordered that thirteen trebuchets be built. Hauling in the supplies and building the huge machine took months, and all the while the besieged Scottish warriors watched and dreaded what was to come.

As the machines were finished, they were christened with names such as Kyngstone, Belfry, Segrave, Toulemonde, Gloucester, and Lincoln. Edward called the biggest of all "Loup–de-guerre," which is French for "wolf of war". A French name for an English king's war engine is not surprising, since English kings spoke French, not English, until a century later. But a name such as Loup-de-guerre would have been quite a mouthful for English speaking soldiers. Soon the big catapult's moniker was bowdlerized into the much more Anglo-Saxony "Ludgar."

Ludgar and his fellow hurling machines threw boulders, but the historical records point to English forces employing more imaginative ammo, too. In fact, this battle might have been the first in England to employ gunpowder-like munitions. The official documents of the time show that Edward sent a letter to his treasurer and the barons of the exchequer "firmly enjoining you with haste to provide a horse load of cotton, quick sulphur and saltpeter… for casting fire into the castle."

The Scots wanted to surrender, but by then, Edward had invested so much time and treasure into his trebuchets that he was gleefully looking forward to using them. Read the story of Ludgar and the other war machines at Popular Mechanics. Bonus: story contains trebuchet videos. (via Digg)  

Steve Casino (previously at Neatorama) makes pop culture pull toys. Pull them along the floor, and they do unspeakable things that children should not see. Casino tells us how he got started on this strange art project.

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And check out the three pieces featuring the cast of The Walking Dead in action.



See a selection of Casino's pop culture pull toys from The Shining, The Exorcist, and more at Laughing Squid. See Casino's varied art at Instagram.

Michael Tucker of Lessons from the Screenplay takes a deep dive into the latest Star Wars films to compare and contrast The Force Awakens with Rogue One. It's the difference between telling us a story and showing us a story. Yes, this contains spoilers.

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You can definitely see a difference choice in narrative structure, but they makes sense. We left The Force Awakens wanting to see more of Rey and Finn and Kylo Ren as well as the characters from the earlier movies. When we left Rogue One, we feel as if we learned a history lesson that happened long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. -via Digg