Miss Cellania's Blog Posts

5 Habits of Highly Effective Outlaws

Black Bart Boles

Guns? Check. Masks? Check. Poetry book? If you're going to rob a stagecoach, here's how to do it with flair.

If You're A Poet, Show It

Even if you're a no-good, law-flouting bandit, it pays to mind your manners -and your meter. In California, between 1875 and 1883, Charles E. "Black Bart" Boles held up more than two dozen Wells Fargo stagecoaches. Even though he seemed to have an intense private grudge against the bank, he was always polite to its employees, asking stage drivers to "please" throw down the money. Stranger still, Boles often left poetry at his crime scenes. This poem was his most well-known:

I've labored long
and hard for bread,
For honor and for riches,
But on my corns
too long you've tread,
You fine-haired sons of bitches.

In 1883, Boles was wounded during a holdup and accidentally left a handkerchief at the crime scene. When Wells Fargo detectives traced it back to him, he was arrested and imprisoned, and although Boles' career as a robber was over, his literary influence was just beginning. During his imprisonment, several copycat stagecoach robbers left truly dreadful bits of poetry at the scenes of their crimes.

Spin the Media

Jesse James and his One-armed Mother

Jesse James spent as much time honing his public image as he did robbing people. In fact, James frequently wrote letters to newspapers, stressing that his gang never attacked innocent farmers, only corrupt banks and railroad companies. He also claimed lawmen hounded James and his brothers because they had been Confederate soldiers, which won the gang sympathy in the South. His letters were widely reprinted, even in The New York Times, helping turn the Missouri bandits into national legends.

One night in 1875, Pinkerton detectives threw a flare into the James family home. The agents were trying to light up the dark house so they could shoot at the outlaws, but the flare exploded in the fireplace, killing Jesse's young half-brother and maiming his mother, who lost her right forearm. James made the incident seem even worse than it was in his letters to the press, falsely claiming the detectives had tossed a 32-pound military shell into his mother's home. The public was horrified, and after the explosion, Pinkerton agents received little help from Jesse's neighbors, who were often happy to provide the James gang with food, information, and hiding places.
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Best NYT Correction Ever



A couple of weeks ago, the New York Times ran a great article entitled Navigating Love and Autism. A day later, it was forced to add a correction, apparently by the many fans of My Little Pony. Link -via Buzzfeed

Dr. Seuss in Gotham City



DevantART member DrFaustusAU, who brought us Horton Hears The Call of Cthulhu and Dr. Seuss' Ghostbusters, has done it again! See his versions of Batman, Catwoman, the Riddler, the Joker, and Harvey Dent in the style of Dr. Seuss illustrations. Link -via Laughing Squid

Obama on Mars?

Danger Room tells us of a claim made by Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings, a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling government agents, that President Obama was part of a CIA mission to explore Mars beginning in 1980. They say he was teleported to the red planet.
Obama wasn’t the only one making the otherworldly voyage. As “Barry Soetero,” the 19-year-old Obama was one of 10 youths selected to secretly teleport to and from Mars, forming a band of interplanetary Teen Titans. Regina Dugan, the director of Darpa, was another member.

Between 1981 and 1983, Obama is supposed to have visited Mars twice, by way of a teleportation chamber called a “jump room.” Basiago, a fellow chrononaut, told the website Exopolitics that he saw Obama “walk back to the jump room from across the Martian terrain.” To acknowledge his comrade, Obama is said to have told Basiago, “We’re here” — apparently, “with some sense of fatalism.”

It is not known what exactly Obama did on Mars. (Socializing Martian health care, perhaps? Building a birth-certificate printing press?) His mission was a perilous one, according to Basiago and Stillings. The CIA wished to “establish a defense regime protecting the Earth from threats from space” as well as a legal claim to “territorial sovereignty,” making Obama something of a Martian conquistador. Presumably, Obama’s CIA handlers needed him to “acclimate Martian humanoids and animals to their presence” in order to secure the U.S.-Martian alliance. (We’ll bet you weren’t even aware of Martian animals.)

“Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten,” an elder chrononaut, retired Army Maj. Ed Dames, is alleged to have told a young Obama.

A spokesman for the National Security Council says that Obama has never been to Mars. Link -via Metafilter

(Image credit: Arikia Millikan)

Hairy Crab Dubbed "The Hoff"

If you were to find a new species of animal with a hairy chest, it would only make sense to name it after actor David Hasselhoff. That's what happened when a new hairy species of yeti crab was documented near thermal vents in the Southern Ocean off Antarctica.
The crabs were found in piles around hydrothermal vents on the seafloor during a 2010 expedition conducted by British scientists. Professor Alex Rogers of Oxford University led the voyage, and told LiveScience that the crabs were "literally, in places, heaped up upon each other."

According to the BBC, the crab has long hairs on its abdomen, inspiring a Hasselhoff comparison. The creature was one of many new species discovered by British scientists exploring deep-sea vents in the Antarctic. Others spotted included a pale octopus and new starfish.

Link

Belgian Fries

If you ever get tired of French fries, you might want to try some Belgian fries (frites) -but be warned they aren't quite "fast food." In Belgium, fries are taken very seriously. They are the centerpiece of frites shops, or fritkots. And only recently have they begun to take off internationally. How are Belgian fries different from what we are used to?
First, frites require certain kinds of fresh potatoes. The Belgians prefer to use a local spud called bintje.

Also, true frites are cut thicker; in fact, they are about three times thicker than a McDonald’s fry.

And to be real frites, they need to be fried twice. First to make the inside soft, and a second time to give the outside a nice bite.

And you have to remember that Belgian fries, along with a dipping sauce, are the centerpiece of a meal, not a side-dish.

All in all, it sounds like a tall order to export, but a company called Bel Frit is trying to do just that.

Bel Frit is now established in Eastern Europe and is looking toward opening fritkots in Asia and maybe even America. Link -via the Presurfer, who loves Belgian fries

(Image credit: Flickr user Domitille Parent)

Harrison Ford Watches Indiana Jones


(YouTube link)

Can you believe it? Harrison Ford hasn't actually sit down to watch the Indiana Jones films until just recently! Let's watch his reaction.

Okay, I couldn't believe it, either. It's a mashup, made by DogFood films. The actual footage of Harrison Ford comes from a video in which he plays the video game Uncharted for the first time -while making an ad for the game. Link -via Buzzfeed

The Underappreciated Genius of Stan Winston



Movie producers and directors have vision. Art directors and designers have ideas. And then there are people who are charged with getting these things done behind the scenes, on time and under budget. Special effects master Stan Winston is one who figures out how to make the ideas work, such as Edward cutting shrubs with his scissor hands, the seamlessly realistic creatures running through Jurassic Park, and the battle between Ripley and the Alien Queen. Read about how he works his magic at Unreality magazine. Link

Kermit the Frog Sleeping Mask



A sleeping mask might seem like a dorky idea, but if you can get used to wearing one, they are quite valuable to light-sensitive people who must sleep during the day. Jacquie LongLegs needed one, and decided to make a mask featuring main Muppet Kermit the Frog. She also documented the process in pictures, so you can make one yourself! Link

Stealth Mountain

Are you sad because no one ever responds to your Tweets? Here's a sure-fire way to get a reply. Stealth Mountain describes his account as follows (I may be wrong, but the muscles on the avatar look male):
I alert twitter users that they typed sneak peak when they meant sneak peek. I live a sad life.

So all you have to do is Tweet about a "sneak peak" and the Stealth Mountain will come after you! Link -via Everlasting Blort

...But the Cat Came Back

Plucky Andrea the stray cat used up a couple of her nine lives, but would not succumb to the animal shelter's attempts to euthanize her.
Officials at West Valley City's animal shelter in Utah say the cat named Andrea hadn't been adopted for 30 days when shelter officials tried to put her to death in October. She survived, so they gassed her again.

Shelter officials detected no vital signs and presumed she was dead after the second try, so they put her in a plastic bag in a cooler. But when they checked the bag, they saw she had vomited on herself and had hypothermia but was alive.

The shelter then decided to stop trying to kill her.

"It was just one of those things where they thought this cat obviously really wants to live," West Valley City spokesman Aaron Crim told the Salt Lake Tribune (http://bit.ly/ylvSDw). "Let's give it a chance to find a permanent home."

Andrea has since been adopted, and is settling well into her new home. Link -Thanks, Skully!

(Image credit: Community Animal Welfare Society)

iPad Accepted in Lieu of Passport

A man entering the U.S. from Canada was able to cross the border without his passport by presenting a scan of it on his iPad. And no one even bothered to yell "Photoshop!"
Martin Reisch said Tuesday a slightly annoyed U.S. border officer let him cross into the United States from Quebec after he presented a scanned copy of his passport on his Apple iPad. Reisch was a half hour from the border when he decided to try to gain entry rather than turn back and make a two-hour trek back home to Montreal to fetch his passport.

He told the officer he was heading to the U.S. to drop off Christmas gifts for his friend's kids. He said that true story, the scanned passport and his driver's license helped him get through last week.

He said the officer seemed mildly annoyed when he handed him the iPad.

"I thought I'd at least give it a try," Reisch said. "He took the iPad into the little border hut. He was in there a good five, six minutes. It seemed like an eternity. When he came back he took a good long pause before wishing me a Merry Christmas."

Reisch was able to re-enter Canada on his way home using the same method. Link -via Fark

(Image credit: Graham Hughes/The Canadian Press)

Update: U.S. Customs denies it happened. Link

The Pinnacle of Cake Evolution

(image credit: U.S. Geological Survey)

The history of the earth is illustrated by the geologic time spiral, which is a convenient way to put a long timeline into a manageable graphic. The Oxford Paleobiology Group decided to do this graphic in cake form to enter into a cake competition at the Earth Science department's Christmas party.

 


(YouTube link)

It turned out to be a mammoth undertaking. Leila Battison writes about the project at her blog. Link -via Nag on the Lake

The Language of Stamps



Back when people sent a lot of letters and postcards through the mail, the position of a stamp could send a message of its own. The "code" became popular around 1890, after it was written up in a Hungarian newspaper. It was printed on postcards in several European languages so a correspondent could clue in a recipient for future reference. See a collection of these postcards explaining the meaning of your stamp at Poemas del río Wang. Link -via TYWKIWDBI

Fishing Under Ice


(YouTube link)

Have you figured out yet what's weird about this video? Everything is upside down! The fishermen are standing on the underside of the ice, "weighed down" by buoyant suits that have air in them. Notice how their air bubbles "sink." -via Geekosystem

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