Automotive engineer Norman Garrett wrote an essay to any would-be thieves who think they've hit the jackpot just because they found an unlocked Porsche. I started reading it and felt right at home, because I have two very old Camrys that I never lock because no one would want them anyway for some of the same reasons. But his story is more involved, better written, and quite hilarious.  

Welcome to my Porsche 914. I imagine that at this point (having found the door unlocked) your intention is to steal my car. Don’t be encouraged by this; the tumblers sheared-off in 1978. I would have locked it up if I could, so don’t think you’re too clever or that I’m too lazy. However, now that you’re in the car, there are a few things you’re going to need to know. First, the battery is disconnected, so slide-hammering my ignition switch is not your first step. I leave the battery disconnected, not to foil hoodlums such as yourself, but because there is a mysterious current drain from the 40-year-old German wiring harness that I can’t locate and/or fix. So, connect the battery first. Good luck finding the engine cover release. Or the engine, for that matter.

Oh yeah, that's just the beginning. You'll get to know this particular car quite well as you decide whether or not to steal it -or try to. The connection with my own cars was suddenly severed at the end when he recommended that the thief find "a nice, reliable Camry to heist" instead. You'll enjoy this description of automotive adventure at Hagerty. -via Metafilter

(Image credit: Norman Garrett)

 

The city of Pompeii is an archaeological treasure, as it is gradually dug out from underneath the ashes of Mt. Vesuvius' 79AD eruption. That means looters, people who steal and trade in historical relics, want to get into the city. To guard the site, authorities are using Boston Dynamics' Spot robots. They can patrol all night without rest, watching and recording any activity, aided by drones that can watch from above. Not only are the robots acting as security guards, they are also monitoring the ruins for signs of change or damage so that preservationists can catch problems with the fragile structures before they completely fall apart. It sounds like a good use for these dog-like robots. They could sure scare a thief away! Read more about the project at Gizmodo.

But what if...  Mt. Vesuvius were to erupt again? The city is mostly restored to its condition from 2,000 years ago. Imagine if it were buried under lava, ash, and rubble again, only to be excavated again in another 2,000 years. These scientists of the future would find Roman roads, ancient homes and businesses, and robots. And that's the kind of thing that causes us to misunderstand history. -via Nag on the Lake

Neatorama has an extensive archive of stories about dead bodies that were not allowed a peaceful rest. However, there are always more stories about earthly remains exploited for obsession, profit, or entertainment. For example, I had no idea that Charlie Chaplin's corpse was dug up and held for ransom, and that happened in my lifetime! It was only a couple of months after Chaplin's death in December of 1977 that Chaplin's body was disinterred from Corsier-sur-Vevey cemetery in Switzerland. Numerous phone calls to the actor's widow, Oona Chaplin, demanded money that would be equivalent to almost $2 million today. Oona refused to pay the ransom, police investigated, and Chaplin's body was dumped in a field to be found three months later. Read how that story turned out, as well as the cases of the restless corpses of Abraham Lincoln, Alistair Cooke, Eva Peron, and those of quite a few other famous people at DiggingUp1800. -via Strange Company

(Image credit: Giramondo1)

Remember that unique ad that introduced us to the Squatty Potty? It's a stool that brings your feet up to a squatting position on the toilet in order to help you poop more naturally. Now the company brings us the Squatty Potty Pillow in order to sooth you, reassure you, and help you release your pent-up emotions in a more natural way, as in "relieving your emotional constipation." Believe it or not, it's a pillow shaped like the Squatty Potty. Only at the end of the ad do we find out why they made this ad, but people are already asking when it will be available to purchase. That seems to happen every April first, no matter how stupid the product is.  -via Geeks Are Sexy

In 1929, rumors went around about a diet in which Hollywood stars lost a pound a day for 18 days. Women who wanted to look like a movie star were avid to get the details for months before the actual diet was published by entertainment columnist Louella Parsons. Every meal for the 18 days was spelled out, but they contained little food, even less nutrition, and almost every meal required grapefruit. Every day started with a breakfast of grapefruit, melba toast, and coffee. It worked for Ethel Barrymore, who was desperate to lose the weight her studio demanded for a movie role. Be that as it may, the diet's 500-600 calories a day was neither healthy nor sustainable for the many women and a some men who followed it. Actress Marietta Milner was on the diet when she contracted tuberculosis and died. Lesser-known women were passing out and even dying from the restrictive regimen. Read about the rise and fall of the 18-day diet at Mel magazine. 

Gav and Dan are looking further afield to find weird things they can present to us in super slow-motion. Since they have a gun that will accurately shoot three-quarter-inch steel ball bearings, why not shoot it at a Newton's cradle, which has ball bearings that are only slightly larger?

The first slow-motion shooting begins at 2:53, but the result is so interesting that they try it in different ways to further explore the phenomenon, like using a hand gun. That's much more difficult for accuracy, but the mishaps are still worth watching. By the time the video is over, you'll have a newfound appreciation for ball bearings. And for Dan's marksmanship.

-via Digg

Larry Lawton had quite a career in jewelry heists that netted millions dollars in the 1980s and '90s. But he was finally caught, and served ten years in prison. Now he explains the importance of the getaway car. Lawton knows a lot about getaway cars, which are crucial to his former occupation, and not at all like what you see in movies. In the movies, the car stands out so we can follow it. In real life, that's the opposite of what you want. Lawton explains how he would select a getaway car and made it as untraceable as possible. No high-speed chase necessary, if everything goes as planned.

Those tips didn't help a bit when Lawton was arrested in 1996, when nothing went as planned. He ended up driving as fast as he could in a rental car with blood on the seats and a bullet hole in the window. It's an exciting story that you can read at The Drive.  -via Damn Interesting 

We've long loved looking and laughing at other people's cats on the internet, but since the rise of smartphones, the supply has grown exponentially. When you see a cat doing something really weird, you no longer have to run and get a camera only to find that the moment has passed; you just aim the phone that you are already holding. The strangest ones end up on the Twitter account cats being weird little guys. That's one you might want to start following.

Bored Panda skimmed that account for the weirdest pictures and presents 50 of them in a ranked list. Some are cute as a button, some are goofy enough to make you laugh, and quite a few will make you wonder what strange set of circumstances led to this moment. Whatever happened, we are glad that they did.

Ian Darlington of IAM Productions is just as frustrated as any other parent with children who won't eat their vegetables. He knows you can't force a kid to eat, but he hates wasting food. So he made this animation about the life cycle of peas. Watch the peas grow up in sunshine set to the tune of "Mr. Blue Sky" by the Electric Light Orchestra. Then they are rejected by a child, and suddenly the sad strains of "Mad World" by Gary Jules takes over.

Darlington says that he showed this video to his daughters, and now all it takes is a couple of notes of "Mad World" to get them to gobble up their vegetables. Well, yes, making a cute and clever video might do the job, but for parents who don't work for a video production company, it makes more sense to just stop serving peas to kids. You'll have better luck with green beans or broccoli, especially if they are slathered in cheese sauce. Then again, since he's already made the video, try showing it to your kids and see if they turn into pea fans. -via Laughing Squid

Camping is fun.#PulpSabotage pic.twitter.com/KJDFJO8NPe

— Richard Kadrey (@Richard_Kadrey) March 29, 2022

Novelist Richard Kadrey decided to have some fun on Twitter by giving book covers more interesting titles. Or designing new book covers for whatever subversive title you can come up with. This is #PulpSabotage. It's been going on a couple of years now, and the hashtag itself has fans.

Good morning.#PulpSabotage pic.twitter.com/pow8L4Hacv

— Richard Kadrey (@Richard_Kadrey) January 13, 2022

You can see his Twitter collection under the hashtag #PulpSabotage, just be aware that some titles are NSFW. -via Metafilter

THE CHOICE IS YOURS! You decide which one of these pitches will become a new comic book series in #DCRoundRobin2022. Vote for your favorites in the thread below. 👇

Learn more here: https://t.co/8g6FCpW0GR #DCUniverseInfinite pic.twitter.com/Ro46SzTnSu

— DC (@DCComics) March 29, 2022

While some people are busy deciding who is the best college basketball team, there are always a bunch of alternate tournaments on the internet that have nothing at all to do with basketball. DC Comics launches one today between 16 story ideas featuring their superheroes (with the exception of Batman). Fans can vote on their favorites in each round, and the winner will be a comic published online. You can vote at Twitter or at the DC Universe Infinite forum, which requires membership.

Will Green Lantern defeat Captain Carrot? Do you prefer Suicide Squad to the Justice League? Read a description of each of the 16 contenders in the first round at Gizmodo. The initial response from fans is: why don't they just publish all of them?

Common logic might tell you that the easiest way to get away with a crime is to convince everyone that you are dead and cannot be prosecuted. What could possibly go wrong? A little more thought will show how stupid that idea is. If the police are after you for criminal activity, they've already figured out at least one thing you tried to pull over their eyes. Faking your own death ("pseudocide") might involve killing someone to pass off as your own body, which only makes your crimes that much worse. Then there's the problem of being someone else afterward, which comes with its own set of complications.

But not all such cases follow the same modus operandi. Sometimes the death is not to cover earlier crimes, but for insurance fraud or even just to leave your old life behind- not that those schemes work any better. This video even includes one case you might remember when the fake death was done for criminal investigative purposes.  -via Damn Interesting

A Texas teen received his brand new truck after he survived a powerful tornado in his Silverado. The shocking video of the red truck being flipped over by the tornado went viral on March 21. (Credit: Bruce Lowrie Chevrolet)https://t.co/Q7MUeEbD6P pic.twitter.com/uhvwQbdiPO

— WPDE ABC15 (@wpdeabc15) March 27, 2022

You saw the dramatic video last week of a red pickup truck that was thrown about by a tornado in Texas, and drove away from it. Now we know who the driver is, and how he's doing. Sixteen-year-old Riley Leon was going home from a job interview at Whataburger when he encountered the twister. While he was able to drive away, he was not unharmed. Leon's truck was totaled, and he suffered a fracture in his back which may require reconstructive surgery. His family does not have health insurance.

However, others have stepped in to help him out. Chevrolet worked through Bruce Lowrie Chevrolet in Fort Worth to give Leon a 2022 Silverado LT All Star Edition to replace his truck, plus $15,000 to help with expenses. A GoFundMe account raised $42,000 to cover Leon's medical expenses. And to top it all off, Whataburger offered him the job! Read Leon's story at Texas Monthly.

Many places around the world use defunct salt mines for storage. We posted about one in Kansas some years ago. In the UK, there's a salt mine storage facility that's being filled up as the mine continues! See, this mine is so big that underground chambers are emptied and used to store not only historical records, but actual historical items that may one day be displayed in a museum, while mining is still going on somewhat down the line, so to speak. The salt itself makes up the walls of the facility, and also causes it to have much lower humidity than above-ground storage or other kinds of underground holes, which is crucial for preserving precious materials. Tom Scott, who can talk his way into any place, takes us on a tour of this underground storage facility and finds out what they'll tell us and what they won't about the treasures stored there for posterity.  

A large ship full of passengers sets sail from England to the Unites States in April, but halfway there runs into an iceberg and sinks, causing the death of hundreds of passengers because there weren't enough lifeboats. You might think this is the Titanic in 1912, but it was the Titan, a fictional ship in the 1898 novel called Futility (later republished as Futility: or, the Wreck of the Titan) by Morgan Robertson. The story was about more than just the shipwreck, but when the Titanic sank 14 years later, the novel seemed suddenly like a chilling premonition. The list of eerie similarities goes on and on.

Was Robertson a prophet? No, but he had ten years of experience as a sailor, and kept up with shipping news. As it turns out, he wasn't the only one who wrote about ocean liner disasters of the time, which only makes us wonder why ship designers and those who created maritime procedures couldn't see it coming. Read about Morgan Robertson and how he came up with a fantastic story that came true, at Mental Floss.