How scary can a ball of cotton be? Patrick Rea’s short from 2007 proves that you can make a movie monster out of anything. I’d probably still go see the full feature -of there was one. Yeah, if you are of a certain age, you'll recognize this as a parody of The Blob. We had those same questions when that one came out, because really, how scary can a slow-moving ball of jelly really be? -via Blazenfluff
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Ebenezer Scrooge has many faces. The story in A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens has been told in so many movies, TV shows, cartoons, and other platforms that you’ll never be able to watch them all. But you can get a taste of many of them in this supercut. -via the A.V. Club
Some dads are excellent dancers; others, not so much. Either type can embarrass their kids by dancing, but you know what? None of that matters as long as he’s having a good time! In this video, dancing dads of all kinds get down to "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, edited skillfully by Robert Jones and Christian Baker for Tastefully Offensive. The individual videos these clips came from are listed at the YouTube page. You probably remember quite a few of them posted here at Neatorama. -Thanks, Robert!
The following is an article from The Annals of Improbable Research.
by Earle E. Spamer
Academy of Natural Sciences, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Time was, if one was interested in natural history he did it for the enjoyment of it. There were no professional natural- historians in the world - or at least they were not paid for the job. Gentlemen of leisure cast about the natural world, indulging themselves in the ins and outs of living things and the ups and downs of evolution. Some made startling and worthwhile contributions to science; most were deemed eccentric amusements for the rest of the world.
In the 1970s and 1980s, Chonosuke Okamura of Nagoya, Japan, took time to look at things in a different light. Sadly, he has disappeared from the scholarly publishing scene, perhaps the last of the eccentrically productive naturalists. Not wasting his energies on the formalities of peer review, he took the fast track of communication. He delivered his findings directly to numerous paleontological professional meetings in Japan (one wonders if he was treated politely as an odd uncle, or giddily as a paleontological P.D.Q. Bach). He published more extensive descriptions and analyses in the Original Reports of tile Okamura Fossil Laboratory.
The Great Discoverer
Okamura did no less than discover the Silurian Period beginnings of all vertebrate life, including humans, 425 million years ago. Nearly everything he found was a new subspecies, whether the species was extant or extinct. Some examples are Gorilla gorilla minilorientalis (gorilla), Canis familiaris minilorientalis (common dog), Homo sapiens minilorientalis (humans), Pterodactylus spectabilis minilorientalis (pterodactyl), and Brontosaurus excelus minilorientalis (a dinosaur).
Figure 2 (left) “Fossil of kissing.” (Okamura. 1980. fig. 75.) Figure 3 (right) “Marble statue of the kiss by Nagaiwa miniman” (Okalllura. 1980. fig. 76.)
(Did I mention, that they were all diminutive, discovered through the eyepiece of Okamura’s microscope? In his description of the mini-man, he wrote, "There have been no changes in the bodies of mankind since the Silurian period ... except for a growth in stature from 3.5 mm to 1,700 mm.")
TheNapman says his cat has figured out what his Christmas gift is. He also figures that the cat will lose interest in it the moment it’s unwrapped. The only solution is, of course, to leave it wrapped. Now, what are the odds that this cat will also require a tree to keep his bed under? Cats are like that.
This picture is from a compilation, excuse me, a “Golden Treasury” of pictures of cats and dogs dealing with Christmas at Uproxx.
Joerg Sprave of the Slingshot Channel has done some weird stuff, but this takes the fruitcake. Here he demonstrates “the Santa Slayer,” a slingshot designed to fling Christmas trees at (presumably) any airborne sleighs drawn by reindeer. Sprave dances for us, too. -via Digg
Joe Cocker is remembered best for singing “With a Little Help From My Friends,” which closed out his set at Woodstock in 1969, and for the love song “You Are So Beautiful.” He was also renowned for his jerky movements and sometimes incoherent lyrics, parodied by John Belushi on Saturday Night Live. In 1983 Cocker won a Grammy for the song “Up Where We Belong,” the duet with Jennifer Warnes from the movie An Officer and a Gentleman. You might not be aware that he received an OBE (Order of the British Empire) at Buckingham Palace in 2008. Today, his agent Barrie Marshall has confirmed Cocker’s death.
Last year his arena tour across Europe saw him achieve a number one album in Germany and give what was to be his final concert in Hammersmith, London, in June.
Mr Marshall said it was with "the heaviest hearts we heard that our beloved Joe Cocker passed away last night".
"He was without the doubt the greatest rock/soul voice ever to come out of Britain and remained the same man throughout his life."
He described Cocker as a "true star" who was also "a kind and humble man who loved to perform".
"Anyone who ever saw him live will never forget him," he added.
As we get ready to say goodbye to 2014, it's only natural to take a look and see what we did over the year. Certain articles we posted went above and beyond what was expected, and if you missed them, here's a chance to look back with us and catch up on the most popular of them. Click on a title to go to the full post.
Whaddaya know, people love to read about cats! When Guremike showed us a sure-fire way to attract and enclose a cat, people immediately went and tried it out. Then they told their friends about it. So many people were trapping cats and posting pictures of them that we had to round those pictures up to show you.
19. Reddit's Official Banhammers
A banhammer is a metaphorical tool used to silence trolls by banishing them from posting at websites. Woodworker Brian Timmons made a couple of actual, physical banhammers for reddit moderators, and suddenly every website wanted one of their own.
18. Predatory Glow Worms Found In Peruvian Amazon
Wildlife photographer Jeff Cremer of the Tambopata Research Center sent us some nice pictures of a strange critter he found. We posted them on the Neatorama Spotlight blog, and he then referenced the post in his reddit AMA. Thanks, Jeff!
17. Photo Series Reveals The Last Meals Of Death Row Inmates
One of our favorite artists, photographer Henry Hargreaves did an entire exhibit around the selections famous criminals made for their last meals.
Each meal says something about the man who placed the order, and whether they used it to make a profound statement or simply wanted one last chance to chow down the meal will go down in history as part of their dark and mordid story.
16. CATable: A Work Desk for Cat Owners
As more people work from home, they are dealing with cats who don't understand "work" or "computers." They just know you are home and should pet the cat. The CATable is a work desk with embedded places for cat to hide, explore, and play, keeping him busy while you get something done.
15. Star Wars Parenting Done Right
Click the title to find out what the correct answer is, courtesy of Brian Gordon of Foul Language Comics.
14. 31 April Fools Day Pranks to Play on Your Kids
Your kids have caused you problems their entire lives, so it's good to give a little payback. Apparently there were an awful lot of parents who wanted to.
The arrival of December heralds the beginning of “the Drinking Season.” BACtrack, a company that makes smartphone-enabled breathalyzers, compiled data on 300,000 blood-alcohol content (BAC) tests in the U.S. to come up with this graph of the results over the calendar year. The graph is interactive at the site.
The results show a definite difference in how drunk people get on Super Bowl Sunday, Valentines Day, and St. Patricks Day compared to non-holidays. Strangely, New Years Eve shows lower BAC results than the other holidays. Although the differences in the days are quite believable, the raw data doesn’t tell us anything about the average American. You must keep in mind that people who test themselves from a portable breathalyzer are already disposed to drink more than the average person. -via The Washington Post
Trees come in all colors, and it just takes a sense of humor to turn a blue one into Cookie Monster! Redditor enhydra-lutris did just that, with a couple of styrofoam balls and a pillowcase for his mouth. Next project- baking lots of cookies to hang as ornaments! Santa might have a little problem taking them away from him, though.
Back when I had an “office” job, Christmas parties were great, mainly because that was a bit of time we weren’t working. And there was food. Then one year the boss decided that anyone who wasn’t actively working had to clock out for the party. There were only two of us at the party, the two who were legally logged on those hours. And therefore, only two of us brought food -the rest of the staff clocked out and left. The moral of the story is that people who aren’t paid to be there would rather spend their time with people of their own choosing. This skit from SNL is a bit of a fantasy, as jobs are too precarious these days for anyone to actually let their hair down during an office party. -via Viral Viral Videos
A court case involving Sandra, a 29-year-old orangutan in Argentina may have ramifications for other apes, or even other non-primates. An animal rights group filed a writ of habeas corpus on behalf of Sandra, alleging that her rights were being violated by her confinement at the Buenos Aires Zoo.
In a landmark ruling that could pave the way for more lawsuits, the Association of Officials and Lawyers for Animal Rights (Afada) argued the ape had sufficient cognitive functions and should not be treated as an object.
The court agreed Sandra, born into captivity in Germany before being transferred to Argentina two decades ago, deserved the basic rights of a “non-human person”.
The zoo has ten days to file an appeal. Otherwise, Sandra will be transferred to a primate sanctuary in Brazil. Sandra has been at the Buenos Aires Zoo for twenty years, and usually tries to avoid contact with the public. A similar case in New York involving a chimpanzee ended with a ruling that chimpanzees are not “persons” with human rights. -via Metafilter
(Image credit: Marcos Brindicci/Reuters)
What in the world is this? It’s a watermelon, terrified because he is falling, no doubt thinking about the big mess his splat will leave on the floor. It’s a glass Christmas tree ornament available at eBay, and just one of a collection of 16 inexplicable, obscure, or just plain bizarre Christmas ornaments you can still purchase over the internet. See the rest of them in a list at mental_floss.
There are quite a few places where early Americans left their marks, but did not leave us any explanations. European explorers had never seen anything like them, and local people said they’d always been there for reasons lost to time. Many of these mysteries are symbols or possibly language carved in rocks. One huge design in California wasn’t even discovered until a plane flew over in the 1930s! And then there’s the Miami Circle.
A recent discovery, the Miami Circle was only unearthed in 1998 when a Florida developer knocked down a 1950s apartment complex, revealing a circular pattern of holes in the limestone bedrock. Further excavation turned up tools similar to those used by the once-local Tequesta people, and radio-carbon testing suggests the site is nearly 3,000 years old.
The State of Florida now owns the plot, which still sits at the water's edge beside a series of high-rises, to protect it from developers. Archaeologists believe the holes are actually signs of a bit of prehistoric development: post-holes for some kind of permanent shelter.
Read about nine more of these America mysteries at Atlas Obscura.
(Image credit: EduardoValle)
In this pictoral display, we follow the adventures of a typical house cat at Christmas, reenacted by many cats from Creative Commons licensed Flickr photos you probably haven't seen before.
What is this? Out of the blue, the humans bring a tree in the house!
(Image credit: Flickr user Jennifer Lamb)
This tree is the perfect place to hide!
(Image credit: Flickr user Algiers Photography)
And they got out all these cat toys to hang on it!
(Image credit: Flickr user LOST X SPACE)
Hey, keep your hands off. That’s MY ornament!
(Image credit: Flickr user Jennifer Lamb)
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