Miss Cellania's Blog Posts

Death Attends the Matinee

Would you like to spend some time on a “choose your own adventure” story based on classic noir films?

The dame walks into your office without knocking, and boy, does she look uneasy.

She stares at you with piercing gray eyes and asks, “Are you Sam Stonemarrow, the private detective?”

All you need to do is click on the text response to advance the story, but sometimes you have a choice of  two or more replies. At some points, either of the answers will take you to the same destination, but some will take you on ridiculous tangents. If you manage to stay on the straight and narrow storyline, you’ll find it’s a bit ridiculous, too. Because it’s from Clickhole. -via Metafilter


Who Invented Choose Your Own Adventure?

(Image credit: Kali Ciesemier)

When a twentysomething editor gambled on her career, she created a publishing phenomenon.

An an unproven assistant editor in her early twenties, Joëlle Delbourgo got an unwelcome message: Her boss at Bantam wanted to see her. Immediately.

It was 1978, and Delbourgo was championing a new children’s title called The Cave of Time. The book was something of an anomaly: It didn’t have a plot or a main character or even a proper ending. Instead, the reader was asked to assume the role of the hero. Every few pages, he or she had to make a critical decision on how to proceed. There were about 40 possible endings, with some paths leading to glory and others ending in alien invasion, tyrannosaurus attack, and other forms of ruin. Delbourgo hoped to make it her first major acquisition.

In fact, she hoped to pursue it as a series. But as a junior voice in the company, she had no idea how her higher-ups would respond to such an experimental project. As she stepped into the cavernous office of Oscar Dystel, Bantam’s president, anxiety struck.

“I understand you’re trying to change the way kids read,” he barked. She was. And she wasn’t alone.

A decade prior, a lawyer named Edward Packard had hit upon an idea. He often told his kids bedtime stories, and whenever he couldn’t figure out how to resolve a story, he asked them to weigh in with options. He soon realized that they enjoyed the stories more when they helped choose the endings.

This interactivity was a valuable storytelling device—it both harnessed the kids’ attention and took advantage of their innate creativity—and Packard wondered whether there was a clever way to package it in book form. During his commute, he began writing a shipwreck adventure called Sugarcane Island, with multiple storylines that required reader participation.

When, in 1969, he passed his finished copy along to a friend of a friend who worked as a William Morris literary agent, the feedback was glowing. “The agent said he would be surprised if there were no takers,” Packard recalls. “Then he proceeded to be surprised.”

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R.I.P. Terry Pratchett

Sir Terry Pratchett, the author of the Discworld series of fantasy novels, passed away today at the age of 66. He was at home, “with his cat sleeping on his bed surrounded by his family.” Pratchett had been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, diagnosed in 2007. His publisher released a statement that said, in part:

In over 70 books, Terry enriched the planet like few before him. As all who read him know, Discworld was his vehicle to satirize this world: he did so brilliantly, with great skill, enormous humour and constant invention.

Terry faced his Alzheimer's disease (an 'embuggerance', as he called it) publicly and bravely. Over the last few years, it was his writing that sustained him. His legacy will endure for decades to come.

My sympathies go out to Terry's wife Lyn, their daughter Rhianna, to his close friend Rob Wilkins, and to all closest to him."

Pratchett’s family broke the news through a series of tweets that framed the news in fantasy fiction style. -via reddit

(Image credit: Robin Zebrowski)


Win a Historic Inn in Maine with an Essay

The Center Lovell Inn on Kezar Lake in Maine was built in 1805. Owner Janice Sage has operated the inn since she won it in an essay contest 22 years ago. Now Sage is retiring, and will pass the inn off to a new winner. With a 200-word essay and an entry fee of $125, someone will take ownership of the inn and the 12 acres it sits on. If Sage receives 7500 entries, the take will match the $900,000 that real estate agents would have listed the property for.

She also hopes the novel approach will ensure that the inn will land in worthy hands.

“I’ve never been known to do anything the normal way,” she said. “I just want to pass it on for someone else.”

The money will also fund a rather nice retirement for Sage, who managed a restaurant in Maryland before taking over the inn. Entries must be postmarked by May 7. You can download the rules of the contest here, and read more about the contest at the Portland Press-Herald. -via mental_floss


The Secret

As my children prepare to go out on their own, I find myself going over the lessons I’ve tried to teach them and see if I’ve missed anything important, or what needs to be emphasized more. This lovely walk around the neighborhood from Grant Snider at Incidental Comics is a great reminder that many of the important lessons can be distilled into very short pieces of advice- if you learn to apply them to all phases of your life. 


Game of Thrones Summed Up in 30 Seconds

(YouTube link)

The latest issue of Entertainment Weekly magazine has an extensive section dedicated to the HBO series Game of Thrones, as the cast gears up for season five, which begins April 12th. As part of their coverage, they asked the cast to sum up the first four seasons in 30 seconds. That sounds like a tall order, but several cast members, recorded on set, did their best. Peter Dinklage does an outstanding job. I don’t believe you need to fret about spoilers at all. -via Laughing Squid


9 Historical Mysteries Solved By Astronomy

One of the fascinating things about the cyclical movements of the earth, moon, and other celestial bodies is that when you know enough about them, you can pinpoint their positions for any date in history. We can use this knowledge to add in details for all kinds of historical events, and even figure out why things happened the way they did. One case of historical mystery solved by astronomy is the disagreements set forth in the famous "Almanac Trial,” in which a lawyer named Abraham Lincoln brilliantly cast doubt on witnesses against his client.

In 1858, Lincoln defended one William "Duff" Armstrong, who was accused of killing James Preston Metzler on due to injuries from a brawl. The key witness in the case claimed that he had seen the brawl in full moonlight, but Lincoln produced an almanac that showed that, at the time of the brawl, the moon would have been near the horizon, nearly out of sight. Armstrong was acquitted, but after the trial, people began to wonder if the almanac was a fake. After all, numerous people remembered seeing a bright moon that night. Should we start calling him "Dishonest Abe"?

Probably not, although there is a reason the townsfolk remember seeing such a bright moon. It turns our that the night of the brawl, the moon was at a very special point in a 18.6-year cycle. The tilt of the Earth's axis and the tilt of the lunar orbit resulted in a very unusual, extreme passage through the sky. So early in the evening, the moon did indeed cross the meridian of the sky, but just a few hours later — at the time of the brawl — it was nearly out of view. Both the almanac and the townsfolk were correct.

That’s only one story. You’ll find eight more cases of astronomy solving historical mysteries at io9. -via the Presurfer


Princess Rap Battle: Cinderella vs. Belle

(YouTube link)

Who would win in a throwdown between Cinderella and Belle? They’ve each got plenty to say about each other’s shortcomings, and even more putdowns about their respective princes. Whitney Avalon is Belle, and Sarah Michelle Gellar is Cinderella. Avalon has a series of princess rap battles: previous matchups are Snow White vs. Elsa, Galadriel vs. Leia, and Mrs. Claus vs. Mary Poppins. See them all at her YouTube page. -via Tastefully Offensive


Why Do the French Love Jerry Lewis?

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website or at Facebook.

 Anyone who knows me or knows anything about me knows I am a major Jerry Lewis fan. I have not only seen almost every one of his films, but watched most every one of his TV appearances, and read every possible book or magazine article or interview on the guy.

And so, one day at an audition a few years ago, I asked a French guy who was there, “Why do you guys love Jerry Lewis so much?" He answered that mainly it was the fact that France was a very left-wing, liberal country and it was based on Jerry's work with muscular dystrophy.

Another Frenchman, this one I read about, was asked the same question. He replied, “Whenever people recognize my accent they ask me, ‘how can you like Jerry Lewis movies?’ I lived this last 30 years in France and I never met any Jerry Lewis fan. If you ask 100 people in the street to name one Jerry Lewis movie, you'd have difficulty getting an answer.”

In an interview with the French weekly rock magazine Inrockuptibles in the early 1970's, film critic Jonathan Rosenbaum writes: “They mentioned in their introduction how weird it was that I preferred Jerry Lewis to Woody Allen.”

Do the French really love and idolize Jerry Lewis and if so- why? This subject is so vast (like Jerry Lewis' career) it is hard to answer the above question in one article, but here goes.

First off, as most of us know (as a rule), American critics look down on and generally disdain Jerry Lewis' movies. Jerry was kind of a "critic-proof" comedian in those days, much like Adam Sandler today, i.e. the critics panned him unmercifully, but the general public still flocked to his films.

Although it is not generally realized, Jerry did usually garner rave reviews from American critics during his days as a comedy partner of Dean Martin (1946-1956). The reviews for Jerry, although not Dean, were generally glowing regarding not only his films, but his TV and live stage appearances.  Interestingly, it was fairly soon after the split with Dean that American critics started savaging Jerry, his movies, and most of his TV appearances, too.

Jerry knew this and would often compare himself to the great comedy team of Laurel and Hardy, saying that critics didn't appreciate Laurel and Hardy during their movie career, but discovered what great artists they were after they had retired from films. But with Jerry, this never happened... in America.

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The 48-state Road Trip

If you really wanted to see America, you’d travel by car to every contiguous state and hit all the famous landmarks on your way. Michigan State University doctoral student Randy Olson worked out the route, shown above. You can see the full-size map here. Since it is a continuous loop, you can start at the point nearest you.

If you had the road to yourself, it would take 9.33 days of driving, Olson calculates, but in reality you'd need at least 2 to 3 months to make the journey.

The U.S. is a pretty big place, but if you have the time and the gas money, this would fill a great summer. Discovery News has more details and a list of the landmarks along the way. -via mental_floss


It Takes Two Men to Be Fabio

(YouTube link)

Second City uploaded a skit from their archives that took place in 1994 at the 78th Second City Mainstage Revue. Look carefully: that’s Steve Carell and his chest hair as Fabio, long before The 40-Year-Old Virgin or The Office. It’s a long way from Fabio to Foxcatcher! Listen carefully: his voice is provided by Stephen Colbert offstage. -via Time Newsfeed


We Want Plates

There seems to be an epidemic of restaurants that are dispensing with regular dishes in favor of something “creative” to set them apart from other restaurants, particularly in the UK. The Twitter account We Want Plates collects incidents of food being served on weird substitutes like wooden cutting boards, flat caps, flower pots, wicker baskets, slabs of rock, and shovels. If there weren’t photographs, you’d think I was making that up. Is this a hipster thing?

I’ve seen some hot dinners served in skillets, and of course you expect a barbecue sandwich and onion rings to come in a plastic basket lined with paper. But I’ve never been to a restaurant where they just made up stuff to use instead of plates. Have you? -via Metafilter


23 Bad Business Moves

(YouTube link)

On this week’s mental_floss List Show, we learn how not to run a business. Of course, we don’t get the wisdom to make better decisions without the benefit of hindsight, which would have helped in some of these bad decisions from history. In some cases, a bad decision on one side led to untold riches on the other side. Rejection isn’t always a bad thing. If someone went through this video and added up all the money lost in 23 business decisions, the amount would be so staggering that it would mean nothing to us.  


Crows Swinging on a Tree Branch

(YouTube link)

We know from living with cats and dogs that animals like to play and have fun. Still, we are astonished at the rare sighting of wild animals playing games that serve no purpose other than to enjoy it. Crows are quite intelligent birds, being able to use tools and figure out puzzles. Here they have fashioned a game of sorts around swinging on a weeping willow branch. NCARalph caught them on video in his backyard in Massachusetts, and does play-by-play commentary for the game. -via Daily Picks and Flicks


The Art of Blowing Bubbles

(YouTube link)

Taiwanese performer Su Chung Tai (蘇仲太) is a master at the art of soap bubbles. In fact, he entertains crowds with his show called Be Fantasy, and is known as the “Bubble Performance Master.” There probably isn’t a lot of competition for the title. The show is mesmerizing, as he constructs complicated yet ephemeral bubble configurations, with bubbles inside bubbles, bubbles moving in strange ways, and bubbles changing as he pleases. Mr. Su has broken three Guinness World Records, although his website doesn’t say what exactly those records are, or whether he broke any of his own records. -via Viral Viral Videos


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