The Super Bowl is this Sunday, so get ready for a torrent of Super Bowl ads released early to YouTube. I can’t blame the folks who spend a ton of money on ad production; I’d want to get as much mileage out of them as possible. This one is as cute as can be.
You got it -dachshunds dressed up as hot dogs. Or, more accurately, wiener dogs dressed as wieners. Because that’s how you advertise ketchup at the Super Bowl. -via Tastefully Offensive
The following is an article from The Annals of Improbable Research, now in all-pdf form. Get a subscription now for only $25 a year!
by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff
Iain Pretty is Professor of Public Health Dentistry at the University of Manchester, U.K.
David Sweet is a Dentistry Professor at the University of British Columbia, Canada, and has been Chief Scientific Officer for the identification section of INTERPOL, the international police organization.
Pretty and Sweet have teamed up repeatedly for a scientific effort that, more fully than any other, is Pretty/Sweet. Here are some of their works.
Pretty/Sweet 2000: Where Bites
“Anatomical Location of Bitemarks and Associated Findings in 101 Cases from the United States,” Iain A. Pretty and David J. Sweet, Journal of Forensic Sciences, vol. 45, no. 4, 2000, pp. 812–4.
The total number of bitemarks included in the study was 148. Four bites were found on nonhuman substrates (apple, cheese, paper towel, and sandwich). These bites on objects were included in the study to demonstrate the occurrence and relative importance of bites on inanimate objects.
Pretty/Sweet 2001: Biting Criticism
Two best friends fulfill “a lifelong dream” of sneaking into a movie theater as one large person. It’s not about saving the money on the ticket; it’s to see if they can get away with it. Of course they did. Movie theater employees aren’t paid enough to risk a confrontation, or even care.
This was much easier when I was young. We had drive-in theaters, and huge trunks in our big American cars. -via reddit
By now you’ve probably seen The Force Awakens as many times as you planned, otherwise this video contains spoilers. As you can imagine, a lot of work went into the small details of the movie, and many of those details could have easily flown over your head even on your third, fourth, or fifth viewing. Screen Rant clues you in so you can look for them on your next trip to the theater.
While those tiny details are neat to know, they also make you wonder about all those long-time Star Wars nerds who worked on the film. I imagine them placing bets on how long it would take the biggest fans in the audience to spot them and spread the word. Who knows? There may be many more easter eggs no one has noticed even now. -via Tastefully Offensive
P.S. Here's the story behind the droid R2KT.
The first season of Dallas in 1978 wasn’t watched all that much. I was in college without a TV, anyway. But it really took off in its third season because all anyone could talk about in the summer of 1980 was “Who shot JR?” and the modern TV cliffhanger was born. That wasn’t the only way that Dallas broke new ground and left a legacy that inspired other TV shows. It’s been almost forty years, so let’s learn some things you didn’t already know about Dallas.
9. THE IMPETUS FOR “WHO SHOT J.R.?” CAME FROM HAGMAN RENEGOTIATING HIS CONTRACT.
Hagman wanted to be paid more money for playing J.R., so he went along with the “Who Shot J.R?” premise. “The shooting of J.R. was a double-edged sword; it gave my producers and the CBS bosses a perfect way to get rid of me in case my demands got out of hand,” Hagman told TV Guide in 1980. “Meantime, the pressures began to build. Certain rumors were allowed to circulate, such as an insidious scheme, worthy of J.R. himself, to have the ambulance burn on the way to the hospital, necessitating plastic surgery on J.R., who would emerge from the operation looking just like another actor.” He had a feeling the producers wouldn’t let J.R. die and that they’d acquiesce to his monetary demands.
J.R. was shot in “A House Divided,” which aired in March of 1980, but fans would have to wait until November to find out who attempted to kill him. Those eight months caused such a frenzy that bookies took bets on who did the deed, and even Queen Elizabeth asked Hagman who shot him. “We were presented to the Queen Mother. And she says, ‘I don't suppose you could tell me who shot J.R?’ I said, ‘No ma'am, not even you.’” The show even filmed a gag reel of the cast and crew taking turns shooting Hagman, as a red herring.
When “Who Done It” aired as the fourth episode of the fourth season, on November 21, 1980, the world finally discovered that it was Sue Ellen’s sister, Kristin (Mary Crosby), who did the deed. Up to that point, Crosby was best known for being Bing Crosby’s daughter, but “Being the one who shot J.R. made me a trivia question, and I’m really big in really small countries,” Crosby told CBS. After all that, Hagman prevailed and got his raise (plus a stake in the series).
Well, that made perfect sense as a scheme to explain the presence or absence of a lead character when they did not yet know if he’d return for the next season. Funny how that turned out to be a ratings juggernaut. Such shenanigans didn’t work so well for other characters. Read all 14 Big facts About Dallas at mental_floss.
Rick Deckard, Han Solo, Jack Ryan, Indiana Jones, Dr. Richard Kimble, President James Marshall… those are only a few of the many roles Harrison Ford made his own in his 40-year movie career (so far). Which movie was the best, or which movie was he best in? Think of your top picks, then check out this list that ranks the best Harrison Ford movies. At least, his best movies so far. I hope he still has more and different roles in him.
Vulture has a mega-post with a timeline of comedy history. The title is a bit hyperbolic, because the 100 jokes are limited to the United States in the last 110 years. However, it does include visual gags, one-liners, full skits, movie scenes, standup, long-running jokes, and more, with commentary. There are tons of classics that will make you laugh no matter how many times you’ve heard them, and others you may vaguely remember and will be glad to see again.
“When I’m Good I’m Very Good … But When I’m Bad, I’m Better” -Mae West, 1933
“I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I’m so indebted to her for.” -W.C. Fields, 1941
“Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it’s known at my house, Passover.” -Bob Hope, 1968
“Dave’s not here.” -Tommy Chong, 1971
“These go to 11.” -Christopher Guest, 1984
There are a lot of videos. You can read through them in order, or use the timeline to jump around and find your favorites. Some are NSFW, but the description should indicate the subject before you play a sound clip or video. This list could keep you busy for days.
(Image credit: Giacomo Gambineri)
How the Dutch defeated the Spanish invasion in the Eighty Years' War …with ice skates! Here's the story, from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Attack of the Factoids.
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
During the 15th and 16th centuries, the heyday of the Spanish Empire, the country’s kings and queens tended to go brutally overboard in their support of the Roman Catholic Church. They forced Jews and Muslims to convert or get out of the country in 1492, and then created the infamous Inquisition to root out atheists, freethinkers, Christians of the wrong kind, and any former Jews and Muslims who were only pretending to be Catholic. Torture, forced confessions, and burnings at the stake were common tools used to “save” the souls of those deemed insufficiently Catholic.
In 1566 Spain’s King Philip II got some disturbing news about a distant province ruled by his empire. Thanks to the devilish and revolutionary influence of people like Martin Luther and John Calvin, the scourge of Protestantism had taken root in the Spanish-controlled Netherlands. After trying out slightly gentler methods, Philip sent in Spanish troops with orders to scare the devil— or at least the Calvin and Luther— out of the locals. In response, many of the Dutch people rose up in rebellion, and Philip decided that anything, even mass murder, was acceptable in the effort to convince the Dutch to accept Catholicism.
THE SWORD OF THE LORD
Not all Dutch towns resisted or wanted trouble, but even that didn’t help them. In November 1572, the city of Naarden tried to negotiate surrender with the Spanish by inviting the invading army to a lavish feast. But after the food and toasts and expressions of friendship and loyalty were finished, the army gathered the 3,000 residents into the town church. Moments after sending in a reluctant priest to tell the people to pray, the army rushed in with swords and began slaughtering the townspeople. Eventually, the soldiers burned the church down to make sure there were no survivors. Other cities and towns were similarly ransacked, and an estimated 100,000 people were killed.
Artist Andrew Tarusov (previously at Neatorama) gives us a series of posters for Disney animated movies drawn in the style of Tim Burton’s animated movies, like The Corpse Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas.
The fear and the evil implications are evident in Tarusov’s illustrations. See The Lion King, Bambi, Dumbo, Snow White, and more in the set at Tarusov’s website. -via Buzzfeed
A rare book dealer purchased an old hand-written journal at an estate sale and sent it to the Beinecke Rare Book & Manuscript Library at Yale University. The meticulous script on 304 pages of antique paper was intriguing, and the text even more so. It appeared to be a first-hand account of one Austin “Rob” Reed, titled The Life and the Adventures of a Haunted Convict. Reed tells about his life in a Manhattan juvenile facility and later Auburn State Prison. He completed the journal in 1858.
“The big question was what exactly we were looking at,” says Caleb Smith, a literature professor at Yale, and one of three experts asked by the Beinecke to evaluate the manuscript. “Was it a novel? Was it a memoir?”
An expert in prison literature, Smith felt sure that the book was written by someone with firsthand knowledge of 19th-century correctional facilities. And if Haunted Convict was a genuine account, it would be groundbreaking: the earliest-known narrative penned by an African-American prisoner. Moreover, it had been unearthed at a propitious time. Nationwide, criticism of the costly and overcrowded prison system was growing, as was anger at soaring incarceration rates, especially among young black men.
The experts at Yale set out to authenticate the journal and find out more about Reed. Read about that process at Smithsonian. The short version of Reed’s life is at The History Blog. You can download the original manuscript at Yale University’s Beinecke Digital Collections. And the book is now available at Amazon. -via Metafilter
(Image credit: Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library /Yale University)
The oldest Jewish cemetery in Curaçao is Beth Haim. The oldest readable tombstone is dated to the year 5428, which by the gregorian calendar is 1668 CE. There may well be older stones that can no longer be read. No graves have been added to the cemetery since the refinery went in. It’s open to the public, but no one except refinery employees are allowed past that point. See pictures and a video of the Beth Haim cemetery at Curaçao for 91 Days.
Author AA Milne wrote seven full-length novels in his life. He also wrote regularly for Punch magazine and was eventually an assistant editor there. Milne also served as the editor of Granta magazine. He wrote five non-fiction books and 34 plays. But Milne is almost solely remembered for the four short children’s books he wrote about his son and a stuffed bear named Winnie the Pooh.
The children’s books added up to just 70,000 words, the length of an average novel. But their enormous fame erased the memory of all the work he’d already done.
The success of the Pooh stories also undermined the reception of the non-juvenile work Milne wrote later. “It seems to me now that if I write anything less realistic, less straightforward than ‘The cat sat on the mat’, I am ‘indulging in a whimsy’,” Milne wrote in the introduction to his play The Ivory Door in 1928. “Indeed if I did say that the cat sat on the mat (as well it might), I should be accused of being whimsical about cats; not a real cat, but just a little make-believe pussy, such as the author of Winnie-the-Pooh invents so charmingly for our delectation.”
Pooh illustrator EH Shepard suffered the same fate, being typecast as a children’s book illustrator, when he’d made his name as a political cartoonist before. But the worst of the typecasting curse fell to Milne’s son Christopher Robin Milne. Read about how Winnie the Pooh followed him around all his life at BBC Culture. -via Digg
Princess Peach made a cake for Mario, and that became the inspiration for this project. A collaboration between filmmaker Aron Mani and his sister, baker Jami Behrends, results in a stop-motion game video made entirely of cake!
As you can guess, the sequence required a lot of cake. That’s confirmed in the behind-the-scenes video, where we see 18 different cake Marios in different positions. I imagine they also had backups for each of them. But things really went into overbaking mode when the whole multi-layer cake had to be replaced!
You might cringe at the very last sequence, but remember, they’ve just been through more cake than you will see in a year. -via Tastefully Offensive
(Image credit: Robert I. Pitchford)
Vintage postcards are so cool. Those who couldn’t afford to travel in the 1930s and ‘40s could dream of the brightly-colored places seen on linen postcards. Curt Teich of Teich & Co. produced over 45,000 different linens postcards, and is the subject of the book Postcard America: Curt Teich and the Imaging of a Nation, 1931-1950 by Jeffrey L. Meikle. Meikle explains how Teich became so prominent in the business. One of his secrets was photographer and postcard salesman G.I. Pitchford, who had an artist’s touch.
One example of how Pitchford’s instinct for profit was combined with the artistry of the retouchers can be found in a 1940 postcard titled “Mt. Lemmon Road, near Tucson, Arizona.” Upon first glance,
Pitchford’s black-and-white source photo, shot the same year the card was published, is unremarkable. In the foreground we see his 1940 Buick sedan parked next to a saguaro cactus, its needles glistening like a spiky halo in the southwestern sun. Ahead of the car, the road angles to the right before bending sharply to left, hugging the curving topography of an inclined ridge. And way off in the distance, in the upper-left corner of Pitchford’s picture, is Tucson, or so we are told in Meikle’s book—the city itself is impossible to see with the naked eye.
What Pitchford’s photograph lacks in technical prowess it makes up in composition, and that was all the retouchers in Chicago needed to produce a postcard worthy of the C. T. Art-Colortone trademark. Thus, the road in the final postcard is a deep rusty red, as were so many unpaved roads in the Southwest in those days, while the cactus-strewn hillside is ablaze in color, as if caught at peak bloom after a particularly wet winter. The “effect of the sun shining thru the needles,” as Pitchford had described the cactus in a note written on the frisket—the sheet of tracing paper protecting his photograph from damage—is preserved, just as the sales agent had specified.
Importantly, the retouchers did more than just follow orders. Pitchford’s Buick is now cropped at the car’s trunk, giving it the illusion of movement that the original photo lacks. As for the sky, alluring bands of orange and turquoise have replaced the gray haze of Pitchford’s black-and-white. The result is an obvious, fabulous fake, but definitely something you’d want to mail to a friend.
(Image credit: courtesy University of Texas Press)
Read more about how the popular Teich linen postcards were made at Collectors Weekly.
Redditor hopinfusedcorpse expected a visit from the maintenance department while he was gone. So he left a note, warning them about the pets. The maintenance crew responded in the same note. In case you can’t read it, it says,
She put up a good fight. She fault to the end with honor. The Dog hid while we were here. I think he is scared of cat.
He obviously meant to say "fought." But "to the end"? Now wait a minute, was the maintenance visit about getting rid of the cat problem? I’m starting to wonder if the cat is okay. Lets just assume that he would have told us if she wasn’t.
